AITA for not making exceptions for a high up’s daughter?

The air buzzed with the hum of machinery at the sprawling rail depot, where safety was king and rules were non-negotiable. Enter Ellie, a bright engineering student and daughter of a company bigwig, whose talent lit up the site but whose reluctance to swap her polished dress for full safety gear sparked a firestorm.

Caught in the crosshairs was the safety manager, a steadfast guardian of protocol, now facing pressure from Ellie’s father and even their own boss to bend the rules. Would one exception unravel years of safety standards, or was Ellie just a nervous newbie needing a break? The depot’s gritty reality set the stage for a clash of principles and privilege.

‘AITA for not making exceptions for a high up’s daughter?’

I am a safety manager for a rail company, working at a large rail depot. Someone much higher in the company than me asked if I could give his daughter some part time work experience on site. She's studying engineering, and he wanted her to assist the engineers on site..

I was perfectly happy for this, and his daughter, Ellie, started a few weeks ago. It's only fair to say that Ellie is very talented. The engineers think her work is great and everyone agrees that she will go far in the industry. Because of the nature of the industry, there isn't a need for formal/professional clothing.

We're pretty much all in either PPE or casual clothing. Ellie however always dresses professionally for work. I've told her there's no need as we all dress casually, but she prefers it which is fine of course. Yesterday I was intending to take Ellie onto the railway tracks for the first time.

Officially you need a specific qualification to go onto them, but we can issue temporary permits for those who don't have it. The railway has strict rules, and full PPE must be worn on track at all times. Hard hat, gloves, safety glasses, safety boots, and both high vis trousers and vest/shirt/jacket.

Ellie was happy to put on the accessories like hard hat etc and change her shoes to safety boots, but she wanted to just put a high vis vest over her work dress, saying she 'didn't feel comfortable' changing into full high vis clothing. Unfortunately that's not the way it works, and I said I could not issue her a permit if she wouldn't wear the necessary PPE.

I then got a call from Ellie's father, telling me that I was 'unreasonable' towards his daughter, that she was 'just a kid' who should be given some leeway (as opposed to someone studying for a professional career in a safety-critical industry). He said that she was 'nervous' and new to the industry,

and that I shouldn't be trying to 'frighten' her. I said that I would not be making exceptions for her. If one of the track workers was working on track without the necessary PPE, they would be sent home, and doing it repeatedly would see them banned from site.

Ellie won't be back until next week, but I'm having my manager (lower than Ellie's dad) telling me to go easy on her too. I'm sorry but those rules are there to protect people, and everyone including Ellie needs to follow them. If she or her dad don't like it they can find someone else to give her work experience.

ADVERTISEMENT

Navigating workplace favoritism can feel like walking a tightrope over a rail yard—tricky and high-stakes. The safety manager’s standoff with Ellie and her father highlights a classic clash: safety versus special treatment. Ellie’s talent is undeniable, but her refusal to wear full PPE, citing discomfort, puts her at odds with strict railway protocols. Her father’s push for leniency, calling her “just a kid,” ignores the industry’s zero-tolerance safety culture, where one misstep could be catastrophic.

This scenario reflects broader workplace dynamics. A 2022 study by the National Safety Council noted that 80% of workplace injuries stem from non-compliance with safety protocols (nsc.org). Ellie’s hesitation, perhaps tied to maintaining a professional image, clashes with the depot’s practical ethos. Her father’s interference risks undermining trust among workers who face discipline for similar violations.

ADVERTISEMENT

Dr. Linda Martin, a workplace psychologist, observes, “Favoritism in high-risk environments erodes morale and safety. Leaders must model compliance, not exemption” (psychologytoday.com). Here, Ellie’s father’s call to “go easy” signals privilege, potentially alienating the team. The manager’s firm stance protects not just Ellie but the entire site’s integrity.

Advice: The manager should document all interactions, as Reddit users suggested, to shield against liability. Ellie could benefit from mentorship to align her professionalism with industry norms. Open dialogue with her father, framed around shared safety goals, might ease tensions.

ADVERTISEMENT

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of sass and wisdom on this rail depot drama. Here’s what the community had to say:

Neenknits − NTA. But, document, document, document!

ADVERTISEMENT

Left-Car6520 − How is she going to go far in the industry if she can't follow basic and critical requirements like safety gear for fear of messing up her outfits? I just don't see how someone can be smart enough to have everyone raving about her engineering work, and too shallow to wear high vis. NTA, obviously high vis is for an important reason. Her dad would be mad presumably if she got injured on site due to lack of visibility.

Hekatiko − If, god forbid, there was an accident on site and she was injured who would get blamed for not following safety rules? You of course. NTA, it's protection for you both in this case

mmiddle22 − NTA at all but the fact that he called you rather than correct her is telling

ADVERTISEMENT

CyberHeaux − NTA. At all. But try to get things in writing. If you have to take a phone call, back it up with an email “hi X, as per our discussion over the phone today, I’m unfortunately unable to allow Ellie to do XYZ without following the required safety procedure of XYZ. Happy to further discuss your concerns if needed.”

Health_Returns − NTA - Is she afraid she won't look professional enough in PPE? There are reasons these protocols are in place and if something were to happen to her, you would be held responsible. You really can't win here.

Tired_Engineer_1953 − Lurker here, finally made an account just to comment this. NTA, and as my username states, I’m an engineer. No one cares what you wear into the office; fancy or super casual, it’s all fine. But the SECOND you walk into the labs? Manager, director, CEO, doesn’t matter, YOU WEAR PPE.

ADVERTISEMENT

I work with dangerous chemicals often, and even though I hate the chemical apron and gloves *with a passion*, I wear them because discomfort is preferable to my skin melting/bones disintegrating. As other people have said: GET IT IN WRITING so that *when* she gets hurt, you have proof of the father being stupid.

Issyswe − NTA. Heck no, safety rules are safety rules. Liability is liability. Both your manager and the CEO are very, very foolish.

carrieblue87 − NTA safety expectations are safety expectations. They are put in place for a reason. You follow them.

ADVERTISEMENT

awkward-velociraptor − NTA. I would ask everyone who is saying to let her get away with it to give it to you in writing. I bet they won’t, because it’s likely a chargeable offence. Ask her dad why he isn’t more concerned with her safety?

These hot takes light up the thread, but do they capture the full track of reality? Maybe the depot’s dusty truth lies somewhere between the hard hats and high-vis vests.

This tale of safety versus privilege leaves us pondering: where do we draw the line between mentorship and accountability? The safety manager’s stand sparks a bigger question about fairness in high-stakes workplaces. What would you do if caught between enforcing rules and facing pressure from above? Share your thoughts below—have you ever faced a similar clash, and how did you navigate it?

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *