AITA for not look for my roommates package?

The doorbell buzzes, shattering the quiet of a work-from-home morning. It’s another ZARA package for a roommate who’s halfway across the globe, leaving one person to play delivery concierge. For a 19-year-old college student with a lung condition, this daily ritual quickly turns from minor chore to major frustration. As COVID cases surge and personal boundaries are tested, the situation escalates when a missing package sparks a fiery text exchange.

What started as a simple favor spirals into a clash over responsibility and respect. The OP’s story, shared on Reddit’s AITA forum, captures the tension of roommate dynamics under pressure. Readers are left wondering: where’s the line between helping out and being taken advantage of? This tale of packages and principles sets the stage for a lively debate.

‘AITA for not look for my roommates package?’

So my roommate has been out of the country to visit her family for almost 1,5 month now. During this time I have received almost 20 ZARA packages, she orders them while being away and apparently expecting me to be home accepting them. For some reason ZARA delivers each order in different packages.

Probably it’s coming from different warehouses and send out with different delivery companies. The first 10 days of januari I had to open the door 2 to 3 times a day while I was working to accept the packages. Of course this is a minor inconvenience but every damn day multiple times a day gets really annoying. Specially considering she’s not coming home for another month.

So last Friday while we were texting about how the COVID restrictions in my country are getting stricter, she mentions that on Saturday another order will be delivered and if I would be kind enough to accept it. However I had made plans and I was going to be out of the house all Saturday. I told her and she says “oh don’t worry, they will probably deliver it at the neighbors then”.

So Saturday comes and I come home late and there is no delivery note that they tried to deliver the package. When you’re not home and they give it to the neighbors they leave a note. This morning I tell her: btw they didn’t deliver your package today. She was confused because she had actually got an email that the package was delivered at our home.

Her conclusion: “its probably delivered at the neighbors house, let’s hope they bring it to our door one of these days and otherwise I will have to ask around when I’m back. So then just an hour ago she text me asking me if I im willing to ask all 8 neighbors of our building if they have her package.

Im a lung patient, my dad has cancer and the COVID infections are sky high here, so I told her that I am not comfortable going around asking people if they have received her package. I feel like this is not my responsibility, she ordered something while she knew she wasn’t able to accept it.

I don’t feel like it’s now my job to go around and look for her package specially now with the COVID situation. When I told her this she went totally batshit crazy on me. I told her she should file a complaint to the actually person/company that lost her package instead of bothering me. I am not her PA nor am I obligated to finish the delivery guys job.. So, IATA?

Navigating roommate conflicts can feel like tiptoeing through a minefield. In this case, the OP’s frustration stems from an unspoken expectation to manage their roommate’s deliveries. According to Dr. Irene S. Levine, a psychologist specializing in relationships, “Clear communication is essential in shared living spaces to prevent resentment” . The OP’s roommate failed to discuss the delivery burden upfront, leaving the OP feeling exploited.

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The OP’s health concerns add weight to their stance. With COVID risks high, knocking on neighbors’ doors isn’t just inconvenient—it’s potentially dangerous. A 2023 study from the CDC notes that lung patients face heightened risks, validating the OP’s caution. The roommate’s demand ignores this reality, prioritizing convenience over safety.

Broadening the lens, this story reflects a common issue: entitlement in shared spaces. The roommate’s assumption that the OP should handle her packages mirrors a lack of mutual respect. Dr. Levine suggests setting boundaries early: “Discuss expectations before issues arise to maintain harmony.” The OP’s refusal to search for the package is a boundary-setting move, though it sparked conflict.

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For solutions, the OP could propose pausing deliveries until the roommate returns or arranging a pickup point. Open dialogue, as Levine advises, can reset expectations. This approach fosters respect without burning bridges, encouraging readers to reflect on their own roommate dynamics.

See what others had to share with OP:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, dishing out a mix of support and spicy takes. Here’s what they had to say about the OP’s package predicament:

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Judgement_Bot_AITA − Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here], and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a**hole:. In a normal situation it wouldn’t be too much to ask around for her, however I feel in this situation I’m allowed to set boundaries..

Help keep the sub engaging!. #Don’t downvote assholes!. Do upvote interesting posts!. [Click Here For Our Rules]. and [Click Here For Our FAQ]. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit] if you have any questions or concerns.*

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jerkstor − I hope you grabbed your nuts as you were telling her to f*** off .nta

Minimember95 − NTA! You’re not the a**hole. She’s crazy expecting that you will search for the package in the building with the COVID situation.

throw-away_fri − NTA, I had a shopaholic cousin who lived with us for 6 months, after moving out to a apartment close to our she still sends packages at our place, because in our building we have a office manager who will receive them for us leave a note in the mail box when you are not home because of work, so we don’t need to go to the post office to get it.

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One day I came home after work there was a note, when I went to fetch the delivery, there were over 20 boxes in different sizes. Took me 6 trips to get them all, I was beyond mad. Call my cousin and told her to never have deliveries to my place again. But at least she was apologetic, and never did it again!

GladiatorBill − Absolute hardcore, no gray area, NTA. She can do the leg work on this herself.

Aggressive-Sample612 − NTA

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MikkiTh − NTA She should order her packages for when she's home to receive them.

Throwaway1351247 − NTA, she sounds very entitled and inconsiderate.

KayBlackHart − NTA. If I see the package i might take it off the porch, but i ain't goin on a whole scavenger hunt for a parcel I didnt even pay for!!

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Illustrious_Primary8 − NTA Tell her to stop being such an ass

These Redditors rallied behind the OP, calling out the roommate’s entitlement. Some shared their own delivery horror stories, while others cheered the OP’s boundary-setting gusto. But do these fiery opinions capture the full picture, or are they just fueling the drama?

This story of misplaced packages and clashing expectations highlights the importance of respect in shared spaces. The OP’s stand, rooted in health concerns and fairness, resonates with anyone who’s felt overburdened by unspoken obligations. As roommate dynamics continue to challenge us, clear communication remains the key to harmony. What would you do if you were stuck playing delivery detective for a roommate? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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