AITA for not letting my son be in a photo that my daughter was not allowed in?

At a lively family reunion, filled with laughter and the clink of glasses, a mother’s stand for fairness turned a casual photo op into a charged moment. When her brother-in-law insisted on a “men-only” family picture, excluding her teenage daughter and niece, she drew a line in the sand, pulling her son out too. This Reddit tale sparkles with the tension of family traditions clashing with modern values, served with a side of parental pride.

It’s not just about a snapshot it’s about belonging, equality, and a mom’s fierce loyalty to her kids. With the sting of exclusion lingering, her decision to challenge a dated tradition resonates with anyone who’s felt left out. Let’s dive into this family drama, where a single photo frame holds the weight of fairness and unity.

‘AITA for not letting my son be in a photo that my daughter was not allowed in?’

I have two kids, a 16-year-old daughter and a 14-year-old son. My daughter is one of the few girls on my husband’s side of the family. He has 4 brothers, out of them only one of them has daughters. The rest of his brothers had sons. One of my husband’s brothers “Jim” in the past has made a big deal of taking a picture of just the guys at family parties.

He’ll also take a big family group shot but then insists on a photo with just them and that’s often the one he hangs up in the house and shares all over social media. My daughter didn’t care when she was younger but two years ago said she felt left out and found the whole thing kind of dumb.

I asked my Jim if we could stop doing the guys group shot and he agreed. We haven’t seen much of each other since then, because of the state of the world. We recently all got together at a different BIL’s (not Jim) as we’re vaccinated and healthy. Nearing the end of the gathering

Jim asked my daughter and niece to move out of the way so he could take a photo of just the guys. My daughter said that was kind of stupid and asked why they couldn’t be in the picture. Jim said it was important to him. I asked why does it matter who is in the frame? We’re all family.

Jim said he just wants a photo of the men of the family. I told my daughter to move, but then also told my son to step out of frame. Jim asked why I was doing this and I said he can’t exclude one of my kids. It’s not like he also takes a picture of the women of the family alone, he’s purposefully leaving them out and that’s not nice.

After some back and forth, my husband said “Let’s just go” and we left the party. No pictures taken. My son agreed with me and said he doesn’t find it fair that his sister and girl cousins can’t be in the picture.

My husband is on our side but said I should’ve let it go for the sake of the argument. My BIL posted on FB that he was happy to see everyone but he wishes he could’ve gotten a family picture.. AITA?

Family gatherings should unite, not divide, but this mother’s clash over a “men-only” photo reveals how traditions can alienate. By pulling her son from the shot, she prioritized fairness, signaling to her daughter and her son that exclusion isn’t acceptable. Her brother-in-law’s insistence on a male only photo, especially when no equivalent women’s photo exists, carries an undertone of gender bias that stung her daughter deeply.

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This scenario reflects broader issues of gender dynamics in families. A 2020 study in the Journal of Family Issues found that gendered traditions can reinforce feelings of exclusion, particularly among young women. Dr. Harriet Lerner, a family dynamics expert, notes, “Traditions that exclude send a message of lesser value. Challenging them fosters equality”. Here, the mother’s stand was a powerful lesson in advocacy for her children.

Lerner’s insight suggests open dialogue could help. The mother might have a calm conversation with her brother-in-law, explaining how his tradition impacts her daughter’s sense of belonging. He, in turn, could consider inclusive alternatives, like varied group photos. Her husband’s hesitation shows the tension of keeping peace versus standing firm supporting her publicly could strengthen their united front.

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Practical solutions include proposing multiple photo combinations men, women, and mixed groups to honor all family members. Family therapy or a mediator could help navigate stubborn traditions. This story reminds us that family unity thrives on inclusion, not outdated rituals. By standing up, this mom set a shining example for her kids and beyond.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit’s community cheered the mother’s stand, praising her for calling out her brother-in-law’s exclusionary tradition. Many saw his “men-only” photo as subtly misogynistic, applauding her for teaching her kids fairness and her son for backing his sister.

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A few suggested taking multiple group photos as a simple fix, but most agreed the mother’s response was justified. The outpouring of support highlighted a shared disdain for traditions that sideline family members, especially girls.

jumbojooni − NTA Just respond “I wish we could’ve got a family pic too…. if only you allowed women in the shot we would’ve got one!!”

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MadQween − NTA, reply to his post that he could have gotten a family photo if he’d stop excluding his nieces from it

AwkwardGh0st − It's not a family photo if only the men are in it, NTA

jshady8 − I think you should reply to the FB post and say 'we tried to take a family photo but you didn't want one with the girls in it. Let us know when you are ready for a real family photo.'. See what kind of reply he gets.. NTA

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ceceadapo − NTA. Standing up against misogyny is a great example for your kids.. ETA the son also deserves credit for being brave enough to stand up for his sister.

ethereal_aura − Definitely feels like a form of bullying the women/girls meant to make them feel inferior , especially since just the girls don't get a photo and he only shares the picture excluding the women. Great job sticking up for your daughter and raising a son to see that what his uncle is doing isn't right!. A+ parenting and NTA

satiredun − NTA. You’re a good mom- supported your kids, and your kids supported each other. Your BIL is a misogynistic child. He’s mad he didn’t get a ‘family photo’? Your kids ARE family, girls AND boys.

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notsowise_nz − NTA. I'm even thinking if 'misogynistic' fits in this situation. Is Jim the eldest? He doesn't have daughters?. And your daughter is right. This is so stupid. Now, if he won't let go, it's extra stupid. You can't carry on with a stupid tradition just to keep Jim happy.. Stuff you, Jim!

Mojiitoo − Wtf is reddit on about? Just take multiple photos with multiple groups, so with and without boys/girls? It aint weird to have boys only photos, the women do it all the time, there are only just not enough in this case. Its actually a lot of fun to see multiple guys from all generation in a row.. I get the point, but the solution is so easy lmao.

EnRouted − NTA. I think you did the right thing and handled it as best you could. You didn’t create the awkward situation, he did.

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This family photo fiasco shows how small traditions can spark big feelings. The mother’s refusal to let her son join a men-only shot was a bold stand for her daughter’s inclusion, proving family means everyone or no one. It’s a lesson in challenging norms that divide. Have you faced outdated family traditions or fought for fairness? Share your stories below let’s talk about how we keep families truly together!

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