AITA for not letting my sister move in with us if she not vaccinated for Covid?

A 29-year-old woman and her boyfriend were all set to welcome her 22-year-old sister into their home to escape eviction with their mom. They even caved on bringing along both cats after some back-and-forth, asking only for $100 in rent and help with groceries.

Everything flipped upside down when the couple tested positive for COVID the day they were supposed to pick her up – and during the call, the sister casually dropped that she’d never been vaccinated for anything in her life, including COVID. The older sister immediately laid down the rule: get the shot or no moving in. Tears, arguments about bodily choice, and a heartfelt text followed, but she stood firm, not wanting health or financial risks in her own space.

‘AITA for not letting my sister move in with us if she not vaccinated for Covid?’

Things kicked off with the older sister’s strong belief in personal freedom over one’s body, but reality quickly tested that view:

Okay let me preface with I am a firm believer in people have the right to bodily autonomy, and they should be able to do whatever they want.

On to the situation. My sister B (22F) and my mom are being evicted due the fact my mom lost her section 8 housing. Mom literally didn’t feel like turning...

Mom also can’t hold down a job, so was unable to pay rent. But B did what she could and paid about the rent each month, however that is not...

I (29F) and my partner (27M) love my sister dearly. And as soon as she asked to stay here we accepted. Our only condition was that she pay 100 buck...

We set a day (6 weeks away) for when we could come get B and help her move. It’s about 6-8hrs away from us and she doesn’t have a license.

Surprises kept piling up, from the extra cat to the sister’s job situation:

But this is where the issues started. My sister has two cats (I thought it was just one) and my husband was no on the cats. After a lot of...

(Husband had never really had an animal companion to help him through rough times so he didn’t/doesn’t understand not want to leave them behind) When we accepted we where under...

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Turns out she hasn’t worked for months. B got hurt on the job and never filled out the paperwork for workman’s comp or went to the doctor for a light...

Once I found this out I was like “okay, if you don’t have this figured out by the time we come to get you I’m not moving you up here.”...

And she ghosted me for 4 of those weeks. Until Bs father called me (he’s not in the picture and never really has been) to tell me to cut her...

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The breaking point hit right on moving day when the couple caught COVID:

On the eve of the big move, my husband tested positive for Covid. I also then tested positive. A sucky place to be in but I gave B a call...

B was totally understanding and was happy for a bit of extra time to pack. But as we where on the phone with her she said something that made my...

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And B says “I have never been vaccinated for anything in my life” (moms anti vax) At that point I said “if you aren’t vaccinated for Covid then you can’t...

And then she broke and started to cry. And hung up. We are not her only option but all of her other options required her to give up her cats,...

We are not her only option but all of her other options required her to give up her cats, and she would rather be homeless then give up the cats.....

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We love you very much. We don’t hate you. And you can very much stay here. But you HAVE to the vaccine if you want to live here. I don’t...

Catching covid affects our ability to work and provide a place for you stay. We don’t get paid time off for catching covid anymore. So we basically have to sit...

I am not trying to take away your bodily autonomy, but you are putting our health at risk. And that is not something I will to compromise on. You will...

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This situation reveals deeper family patterns around responsibility. The older sister clearly loves her sibling and stepped up despite their mother’s ongoing issues, but the younger sister repeatedly avoids accountability—skipping paperwork for workers’ comp, ghosting updates about her job, and clinging to habits that mirror their mom’s.

The lack of any vaccines raises alarms beyond just COVID. Diseases like measles and whooping cough remain real threats and can spread fast in close quarters. Dr. Paul Offit, director of the Vaccine Education Center at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, noted in a 2023 New York Times interview: “Unvaccinated individuals don’t just put themselves at risk; they become potential vectors for diseases we’ve nearly eradicated, like measles, which is incredibly contagious.”

The older sister’s pattern of bending on rules—like accepting the cats and dropping the job pressure—then suddenly enforcing the vaccine requirement shows how hard consistent boundaries can be in family dynamics. A smarter approach might involve helping find temporary pet-friendly shelter or funding a full vaccine series upfront.

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Ultimately, bodily autonomy works both ways. The younger sister can refuse shots, but the couple has every right to protect their health, finances, and peace at home. Clear written agreements on timelines, rent, and contributions could head off long-term dependency if they ever reconsider.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Online folks jumped in with heated takes, mixing health worries with straight talk on boundaries:

Most backed the older sister, saying COVID was just the final straw amid bigger red flags:

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JudgeJoan - I wouldn't let your sister move in and it has nothing to do with covid at all.

[Reddit User] - I'd also be worried about measles since she has never been vaccinated.

Chaoticgood790 - Girl covid is the least of your worries now. Esp if you consider kids. Outside of the vaccines you have to stop setting a boundary then dropping it....

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You dropped all of the basic requirements (literally the bar is all the way in hell here) and if you didn’t get sick you would’ve moved in someone that is...

draynaccarato - I don’t understand the job thing, even if she had a job, she’s moving 6-8 hours away from it so regardless, she’d have to find a new one....

[Reddit User] - Okay let me preface with I am a firm believer in people have the right to bodily autonomy, and they should be able to do whatever they...

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And YOU have the right to protect your own body. Plus she's not even meeting you halfway. She would expect you to carry her through life if you made the...

MainEgg320 - NTA, but I would actually be just as concerned about other stuff she’s never gotten vaccinated for - ESPECIALLY if you ever have any young children, immune compromised...

Measles, rubella, whooping cough, diphtheria, hepatitis, mumps, tetanus. . just to name the major ones. If she does come stay with you and hasn’t gotten these vaccines, at the very...

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Naiinsky - I'm all for vaccinations, but the way we stand with COVID at this point, I'd be far more worried about all the other vaccines she's missing. ..

Head-Nefariousness-1 - NTA. And find out what other vaccines she doesn't have - like measles, mumps & rubella, chicken pox etc. .. Those diseases can cause birth defects and way...

EnvironmentalOven703 - I’m vaccinated and got Covid twice. I respect OP wishes but anyone can get Covid

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Liet_Kinda2 - Bodily autonomy stops where your body does. Others with their own bodily autonomy may choose to exercise it. NTA.

bopperbopper - Absolutely NTA: As someone who has had people live with them for free, ask them what their goal is.

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She may be thinking "Cool, housing for $100, well if I have the money. ..why would I ever want to leave? " You are thinking: "Let's help her get back...

Be upfront if this you are prepared to support her indefinitely or for a limited time? I would come up with many house rules to cover the following:

What happens when she doesn't pay? What happens if she "helps with groceries" but eats them all? Is there going to be "her food" and "your food"? Who is cooking?

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What if she borrows your stuff without asking? Is she allowed to have visitors over? If so, what rules? What if she gets a boyfriend? What if she doesn't get...

Who is paying for cat food if she isn't working? Is it really only 2 cats? How is she going to get to work with out a license? Are you...

What if he retreats to the bedroom all the time? How much time should she be in the common area? So you have to think: What if she does the...

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You may think she should be grateful for a place to live but this is not what happens. ..they feel entitled to this place to live. I had a friend...

..she had her own car, lived in the basement in her own area, had her own food, never had anyone over but still ends up being annoying as there is...

Lonely-Ad-8633 - I'm vaccinated, but at this point we know the vaccine doesn't stop you from spreading it to others, or even from getting covid, so I don't understand what...

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bickets - NTA, but, you do know that this is going to end with you having to kick her out, right? She’s not going to move to you, suddenly get...

People who are capable of that don’t just not work for months and not bother filing for disability. She is going to move in, claim to be looking for work,...

BodybuilderSpecial36 - NTA. I had whooping cough as a kid, before I was vaccinated for it. Parents not antivax, it was just so long ago that the whooping cough vaccine...

Anyway, I have never been able to breathe properly and I suspect that my bout with whooping cough is what did it. Not worth the risk to expose yourself to...

Julynn2021 - Ok, pls don’t downvote me. The vaccine is very helpful or avoiding death. However, it’s not as effective at prevent you from getting or spreading Covid. It doesn’t...

An n95 mask, filters in indoor public spaces that are constantly occupied (the office/indoor stadiums/in the daycare,etc), and also obviously avoiding clearly sick people is the best thing to do...

That being said, if she’s never been vaccinated, what will you do with the really strong flu, rsv, whooping cough, strep waves soon to arrive? Nevermind, Covid is very clearly...

If she’s going to spend the fall and winter sick because she’s defenseless, how much will she be able to contribute. And what if she makes you guys sick as...

Bottom line, the older sister isn’t the villain for insisting on the vaccine. She’s just safeguarding her home and well-being after giving plenty of leeway. The younger one has her choices, but they come with consequences in a shared living situation.

What do you think—should family ties always come first, or is it fair to put health rules ahead when someone’s moving in? How would you handle a relative who needs help but refuses to meet basic conditions like this?

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