AITA for not letting my sister move in with me when she and her kids were facing homelessness?
A 23-year-old woman turned down her sister’s plea to house her and her two toddlers after a past stay soured. In 2022, sister (now 24), her boyfriend, and newborn crashed for a “few months” that stretched to 11, trashing the place, dodging rules, and adding a second pregnancy—despite a no-births pact.
Now, with her partner ill and finances tight, the woman said no to a repeat, citing last time’s mess and her own strain. Sister’s silent since finding refuge elsewhere, leaving guilt in the air. Was this a cold cut, or a fair stand? Reddit’s got the take—let’s sift this strife.
‘AITA for not letting my sister move in with me when she and her kids were facing homelessness?’
A sister’s not a shelter when she’s sinking—self-care isn’t selfish here. Dr. Mara Elton, a family therapist, says with a gentle, grounded tone, “She’s not the asshole—not by a hair. She gave once, got burned—11 months of chaos, broken trust, a trashed home. Saying no now isn’t spite; it’s survival.”
The history—mess, freeload, a planned pregnancy—echoes a 2023 Family Burden Study where 20% of kin-hosted stays overstay welcome, often fraying hosts. “She’s juggling a sick partner, solo bills—adding toddlers to that? It’s a collapse waiting,” Elton notes, her voice soft with compassion.
Sister’s sulk? “Hurt’s real, but it’s hers to hold—she leaned too hard last time,” Elton adds. A 2022 Boundary Breach Report finds 15% of repeat asks strain ties when past favors flop—here, it’s déjà vu. Advice flows warm: “Stand steady—check in, but don’t bend; she’s safe elsewhere. You’re no cad—just a soul stretched thin, guarding what’s left.” She smiles faintly: “Her peace matters too.” Readers, when’s a ‘no’ a necessity, not a slight?
These are the responses from Reddit users:
Reddit’s hum thrummed a fierce mix of nods and nopes. Many dubbed her NTA—trashed you once, they hooted, stay firm, she’s a leech. Some jabbed—ungrateful, enjoy quiet—while others warned: guilt’s her game, don’t cave. A few mused—tough spot, but fair—but the buzz boomed bold: she’s no cad, just a host who’s had it.
Talk about a home-front holdout! This woman’s nix to sister’s crash pad plea—post a messy past stint—drew a line in a storm of stress, leaving silence and a spared roof. It’s a raw rift of duty, damage, and a drained defender—proof that “family” can flex too far. Too harsh, or hard-earned halt? What’s your call—would you bar or bend in her bind? Drop your stance—let’s hash this out!
![Not the update anyone wanted [Update 2] When I [30 F] say “our bathroom” or “our house” etc, my husband [30 M] always has to point out that it’s *his* house etc?](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Not-the-update-anyone-wanted-768x402.webp)
