AITA for not letting my sister have the first baby name we both loved?

A 28-year-old pregnant woman clashed with her sister over naming her daughter Luna, a name they both loved years ago. When she shared her choice, her sister (30, struggling to conceive) accused her of stealing “her” name and being insensitive. Their mother suggested choosing another name to keep the peace, but the woman and her husband are set on Luna, a name they adore.

Wondering if she’s wrong for sticking with Luna, she sought online opinions. The community largely supported her, stating no one owns a name and she’s free to use it. Some sympathized with her sister’s infertility struggles, suggesting she consider yielding to avoid hurt, but acknowledged she’s not obligated to.

‘AITA for not letting my sister have the first baby name we both loved?’

She and her sister both loved the name Luna, but now she wants to use it for her child.

So, I (28F) have been married for three years, and my husband and I are expecting our first child. My sister, “Kate” (30F), has been trying for a baby for...

A couple of years ago, we both talked about baby names we liked, and we both fell in love with the name “Luna.” We joked about who would get to...

Her sister was upset, claiming the woman stole her baby name.

Fast forward, I’m now pregnant, and my husband and I decided we want to name our baby girl Luna. When I told Kate, she flipped out, saying that I’m stealing...

and that it’s not fair since she’s been wanting to use it for years. I reminded her that we both liked it, and it’s not like I’m doing this to...

The sister spread the issue to family, and their mom urged compromise, but she wants Luna.

Now, she’s telling our family that I’m being insensitive and selfish for not letting her have the name, especially since she’s struggling to get pregnant.

Our mom even suggested I pick another name to keep the peace, but my husband and I have our hearts set on Luna. AITA for wanting to use the name...

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Is it wrong to name your child Luna, even though your sister also loves the name and is struggling with infertility?

The core issue is the right to choose a child’s name versus sensitivity to a family member’s emotions. The woman has every right to name her daughter Luna, as no one owns a name, and she isn’t using it to hurt her sister. However, her sister’s reaction—anger and involving family—likely stems from the emotional pain of infertility, with Luna becoming a focal point for her grief.

Dr. John Gottman, a family dynamics expert, emphasizes, “Understanding and communication are key to resolving family conflicts” (The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, 1999). The woman should have an empathetic conversation with her sister, acknowledging her pain while explaining that Luna is her heartfelt choice, not a competition. If her sister remains upset, the woman is still entitled to use the name but should consider the long-term impact on their relationship.

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She should initiate a gentle discussion, validating her sister’s struggles while affirming her right to choose her child’s name. If their bond is strong, she could suggest both using Luna in the future as a family connection. If her sister reacts negatively, the woman should focus on her joy as a mother and maintain healthy boundaries.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

The online community largely supported the woman, emphasizing that no one owns a name, though some sympathized with her sister’s pain.

Users stressed that no one owns Luna, and the woman isn’t barring her sister from using it.

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OldPresentation3437 − Your title is inaccurate. You're not "not letting" your sister use the name. In fact, it's close to the opposite. I have about 4 cousins with the same...

And guess what, everyone's fine with it. You would be in the wrong if you said that since you're making YOUR kids Luna, she can't name HERS Luna. But she...

It could even be a special bond the two cousins share. But in no world should one or the other of you be able to dictate which name is used.

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buttercupgrump − NTA Kate has known for years that you like the name Luna as much as she does. It's not like this is a huge surprise. You're not even...

I think it's more likely she's hurting over her pregnancy struggles. She's focusing on the name because it's easier to think about. Give Kate some space. Hopefully, she'll come around...

SadFlatworm1436 − “Keep the peace” are the worst three words in family arguments. Definitely NTA

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Some users empathized with the sister, suggesting consideration to avoid hurt.

FrenchRoo − I’m guessing the issue isn’t really the name. Your sister is probably hurting from struggling to conceive and it can be so extremely difficult to see others get...

I think the name is just a crux to voice her pain. NAH - personally I’d pick another name (that’s assuming you love your sister)

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littlegremlinenergy − Soft YTA. Not because your sister 'owns' the name, but because I don't know why you would use it knowing that it's painful for her. Why would you...

The joke about 'who gets there first' was lighthearted when you both thought it was about who CHOSE to first. Now it's not funny because for your sister it's about...

'Actually, it really was a competition, and you are the loser.' Don’t do that to your daughter. It's not fair to her that her name will always be a callback...

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Some users dismissed the conflict, noting Luna’s popularity or the absurdity of the dispute.

MuddyBoots472 − I’d pick another name - mainly because Luna is a really, really popular dog name 😂

Jollycondane − If Luna is the real name don’t worry about both of you using it because there will be 3 other Lunas in your child’s class at school and...

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ktbenbrook − This arguments is far too common and needs an agreed upon solution. Both children get the same name. Then on their sixteenth birthday they will meet upon the...

Brandishing their swords they will shout out “they can be only one” The winner of the dual tithe death will then keep their name and be known as its true...

Or maybe just realize that no one owns names and its first come first serve, and lots of people have the same name. Unless it’s Eolia or Spoede then the...

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Jaded_Point_6477 − YTA. Controversial opinion, but: You 'both' had a conversation about names? And you 'both' fell in love with the name Luna? B__lshit. Ehhhh, Sounds like weasel words.

If you'd said the name first, and your sister said 'I love that too! ', then you would have said so, as it would have strengthened your case. You didn't,...

So, she said it first, she called dibs on it first, annnnd she's been trying to have a kid and struggling with infertility, then you rub salt in the wound....

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Yes, of course you technically can, but that does still make you the mild A__hole here. And realistically, no, people don’t usually give first cousins the same name, so you...

coastalkid92 − No one "owns" a name and you could name your daughter Luna and technically be in the right. Just like she could still name a future daughter Luna...

However, I do think this is a case of maybe considering if this is a hill worth dying over and if you and your sister can come to an agreement...

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Edit: I think this is really dependent on what your relationship with your sister is like and if this is something you think both of you can move past with...

The online community largely supported the woman, emphasizing that no one owns Luna and she’s free to use it, especially since she isn’t barring her sister from using it later. Some sympathized with the sister’s infertility struggles, suggesting she consider yielding to avoid hurt but acknowledging she’s not obligated to. Others humorously noted Luna’s popularity, dismissing the conflict as trivial.

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No one owns a name, and parents are free to choose their child’s name. However, when family members face emotional challenges like infertility, empathy and communication can ease conflicts. Balancing personal rights with family relationships is key to resolving such disputes.

What do you think about choosing a baby name someone else loves? How can you balance personal choice with sensitivity to others’ feelings? Share your thoughts!

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