AITA for not letting my sister and bil sleep in my room instead of the living room?

In a cozy two-bedroom home, the hum of family life takes a strained turn as a generous host opens their doors to a struggling sister, her husband, and their son. The living room becomes a makeshift bedroom, air mattresses and all, while the host clings to their private sanctuary and ensures their autistic son’s routine stays untouched. But the arrangement, meant as a lifeline, starts to fray under the weight of unspoken expectations.

Tensions bubble when the sister pleads for a bedroom any bedroom for privacy with her husband, even suggesting the host swap their bed for the couch. The refusal, rooted in a need for personal space and stability for a child, sparks silent treatments and hushed arguments. This Reddit tale unfolds like a cramped comedy, where kindness collides with boundaries in a home stretched thin.

‘AITA for not letting my sister and bil sleep in my room instead of the living room?’

My sister, bil, and their son moved in with me for due to financial issues. They have been here for around a month now. I only have a two bedroom place though. So my sister and bil have been bunking down in our living room and their son is staying in my sons room.

They’ve asked if we could change the sleeping arrangements, so they (sister and bil) get one of the bedrooms and the boys stay in the living room. She said she and her husband were having problems because they never have any privacy for just the two of them.

I said no to that because my son (who is autistic) needs to keep his sleeping arrangements and space the same otherwise he will have a meltdown and I’ll have a hard time getting him to bed. My sister understood that and then asked if I could stay in the living room then.

She thinks it makes more sense for the single person to sleep in the living room instead of the couple who could share a bed. And yeah, from a neutral point of view it makes more sense, but come one this is my home. I want to keep my private area to myself in my home.

It’s already driving me crazy having them here all the time. It’s only going to be worse if I don’t have someplace to retreat to. I also don’t want to have to sleep on a couch or air mattress in my home. I want to sleep in my bed where I won’t wake up with a backache.

Also let’s be real I don’t want my sister having s** in my bed. If I had a guest room I wouldn’t care, but them being in my own personal bed just makes me uncomfortable. Like I totally get that not having privacy and not being able to have s** sucks for them

but I don’t think that that should effect me. So, I told her no to that too and now my sister and bil are basically giving me the silent treatment. They’re also both getting snippy with each other and arguing in hushed tones.

This crowded home saga highlights the delicate dance of hosting family while guarding personal boundaries. The OP’s refusal to surrender their bedroom or their son’s—crucial for his autism-related routine prioritizes their household’s stability over the sister’s desire for privacy. The sister’s push, while understandable, overlooks the OP’s right to comfort in their own home.

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Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman notes, “Respecting boundaries is key to maintaining trust, especially in close quarters” , rightly take precedence to avoid meltdowns.

The sister’s focus on privacy, particularly for intimacy, is valid but misplaced in a host’s home. The OP’s discomfort with their bed being used for such purposes is reasonable, as 70% of homeowners value personal space sanctity, per Redfin. The BIL’s lack of involvement in resolving the tension further strains the dynamic, leaving the OP as the sole gatekeeper.

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To ease this, the OP could suggest the sister and BIL seek occasional privacy elsewhere, like a motel, as Reddit proposed. A family meeting to set clear expectations such as financial contributions or a move-out timeline could reduce friction. This story underscores the importance of balancing generosity with self-preservation when family moves in.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit firmly backed the OP, labeling them not the asshole for prioritizing their own bedroom and their son’s needs. They called the sister and BIL entitled for demanding private space in someone else’s home, suggesting they seek privacy solutions like a motel or their own place instead of displacing the host.

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Commenters emphasized that the OP’s home isn’t a hotel, and the sister’s silent treatment was ungrateful given the free accommodation. They praised the OP for protecting their autistic son’s routine and personal comfort, agreeing that the sister’s privacy issues aren’t the OP’s responsibility to solve.

[Reddit User] − NTA, if they want some privacy for s**, they can go get a motel room for the night. That’s some nerve, asking for YOUR bedroom in your house.

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Kalenek − NTA they’re choosy beggars. Their lack of privacy can spur them into coming up with a solution outside of your home.

[Reddit User] − NTA. If they wanted privacy they could have found dwelling outside of your apartment. You’re not a Hilton Hotel with four star amenities, they can certainly go find one though if their “issues” persist.

mathxjunkii − NTA I totally agree with your sister! Privacy for a couple (especially a couple with kids) is probably very valuable. Which is why she and her husband and their son can go get their own place.

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[Reddit User] − NTA - if you follow the saying “beggars can’t be choosers” then they should be happy they have a place to stay, and not worry so much that they are stuck on a couch or air mattress. Are they compensating you in any way for staying there?

Bitter-Onion − NTA like you said, it’s YOUR house. She’s got some nerve even asking that. And not having s** won’t kill someone. They’ll live. Sorry your going through this, it sucks. Good luck! I have a feeling you’re going to need it

Smiley-Canadian − NTA.. 1. It’s your home.. 2. You have equal right and more so to privacy and personal space.. 3. Your son’s health and needs come first. 4. You offered them free accommodation and they are imposing on you. They do not have the right to be selfish and entitled.

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They can live somewhere else if they want to have their own room.. 5. They will not die from lack of s**.. 6. No one wants to hear or have their family have s** in their personal bed.. 7. Their relationship struggles are not your responsibility.

afdaag − NTA, five people in a small apartment is very uncomfortable and the host, you get to decide where to sleep. You need your only retreat.

CoconutxKitten − NTA. They’re lucky you’ve taken them in and yet they’re trying to displace you and your son?

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MrShaunce − NTA. It makes more sense for the person who owns the home and pays for it to have a bedroom, and the people who are going through financial difficulties to stop acting entitled and be grateful for even having a roof over their head.

This tale of a cramped home and clashing needs shows how quickly generosity can strain under pressure. Reddit cheers the OP’s stand for their space and son, but the sister’s sulking hints at deeper friction. Have you ever hosted family and faced boundary battles? Share your stories how do you keep the peace when your home feels too full?

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