AITA for not letting my parents use my bed while they visit my house?

When OP’s mom and stepdad rolled into town for a week-long visit, the stage was set for family tension. Settled into a comfy full-size guest bed, the parents soon unleashed a barrage of complaints, claiming sleepless nights and sore backs, and boldly asked to swap for OP and their husband’s private queen bed.

For OP, this wasn’t just about a mattress—it was about protecting their personal space from parents known for snooping. The brewing drama, filled with passive-aggressive coffee gulps and Advil pops, pulls us into a relatable clash over boundaries and guest etiquette. Let’s dive into this bed-time saga and sort out who’s really out of line.

‘AITA for not letting my parents use my bed while they visit my house?’

My mom, stepdad, and I have a... troubled relationship. They’re a Karen and a Ken. If you’ve seen the movie Red Eye, they’re that obnoxious hotel couple. Regardless, they are visiting this week. They came in from out of town which is always stressful for me and my husband. My husband and I have a queen bed.

We have a twin bed in one bedroom, a full bed in our main guest room. We put my parents for the full. The full bed is not some rickety old thing- it’s maybe five years old? My parents came to me this morning and told me they had just the worst night of sleep.

They said the full bed isn’t big enough for them, they got no sleep, they are so grouchy today, and could we please give them our bed for the week? I was all “o.O?!!” I said no. For me, it’s not just our bed - my parents would absolutely be the type to snoop around our bedroom. My parents have been complaining off and on all day.

They had an extra cup of coffee because they’re so tired. They need Advil because their back is so sore. Stuff like that. My husband has ignored them for the most part. My stepdad tried to be all buddy buddy and hint at the bed swap to my husband.. AITA? Should I give my parents my bed?

This bed dispute is a masterclass in family boundary battles. OP’s refusal to surrender their queen bed reflects a stand for personal space, especially with parents prone to prying. Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman emphasizes, “Healthy boundaries in families foster respect and reduce resentment” . OP’s hesitation, rooted in past “Karen and Ken” behavior, aligns with protecting their marital sanctuary.

The parents’ complaints—sleeplessness, back pain, and subtle hints to OP’s husband—lean toward entitlement. Their larger size, noted by OP, may explain discomfort, but demanding the host’s bed crosses a line. A 2023 survey by Booking.com found that 62% of travelers expect hosts to provide comfortable accommodations, but only 12% believe it’s acceptable to request the host’s personal space . The parents’ failure to explore alternatives, like splitting between beds or booking a hotel, amplifies their overreach.

Gottman suggests hosts set clear expectations: “Discuss sleeping arrangements before guests arrive to avoid surprises.” OP could offer solutions, like suggesting a nearby hotel or splitting the twin and full beds, while firmly holding their ground.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit users jumped into this bed-time brawl with gusto—here’s the cheeky chatter straight from the thread:

BrennaLyons − NTA. This is YOUR house and YOUR bed. I'm sure they don't offer you their bed when you visit. They shouldn't expect you to, but they are obviously entitled. Tell them they have three choices..... 1. Deal with the full size bed.. 2. One of them sleeps in the full and the other in the twin.. 3. They pay for a hotel room.. Of course, #4 would be that they never bring their entitlement to your doorstep again.

StAlvis − NTA They said the full bed isn’t big enough for them, they got no sleep, they are so grouchy today, and could we please give them our bed for the week? 'Oh you know what? I just read how sleeping on a nice, hard floor is supposed to do *wonders* for your back and leave you feeling refreshed and rejuvinated! Let me help get you set up...'

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Alert-Potato − Should I give my parents my bed? F**k no. You should give them the number to the nearest hotel. You are NTA here at all, but they certainly are for acting this way.

ETA: based on your ETA, my opinion doesn’t change. You have two beds available, they can sleep separately, make do together, or go to a hotel. There is no circumstance in which it is acceptable to ask your host for their bed.

Period. When you visit family, you make do with the accommodations provided and are thankful for not having to have a hotel room. You swallow your words about lost sleep or aches and pains the bed causes. Hubs and I once shared the guest room at my grammy’s house which has an absolutely i**olerable bed. For a week. And were grateful to be able to wake up on the farm instead of a hotel.

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Funguswoman − NTA. If the bed isn't big enough for the two of them, one of them can go in the twin.

[Reddit User] − NTA.. You bought a nice new bed.. It is a private room.. They are capable of sleeping elsewhere - even if that means a hotel. If you bought the queen bed to be a guest bed it would be in the guest room and they would already be sleeping on it.. Also I NEVER want my parents sleeping in my bed. Thats just gross. I have s** there!

SpicyMustFlow − NTA. They can have one on the double and another in the twin. Or, if the accommodations are not to their liking, they can get a hotel.. They're assholes for demanding your bed. Your marriage bed!

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KoalaQueen87 − No, you're an adult.. I am the petty type and would be like, 'oh wow the Westin down the street has king beds.'. NTA

daenerysstargaryen − NTA. you're allowed to have boundaries and your bedroom is a private place.

Hot_Statistician6468 − Aren’t guest beds supposed to be uncomfortable as well as the room so no one overstays their visit?. NTA

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CalvinR − NTA - My parents bought a king sized bed for my guest room as a gift for us so. With the side effect of getting a good night's sleep for them. Tell them they can buy you a new bed for your guest room or get a hotel room for the visit.

These Reddit quips are sharp, but do they fluff up the truth or just pile on the drama?

OP’s clash over their queen bed lays bare the tricky dance of hosting family while guarding personal space. By standing firm against their parents’ entitled gripes, OP sparked a debate about guest manners and family ties. This saga invites us to reflect on our own visitor battles. What would you do if pushy guests eyed your private space? Drop your thoughts or stories below—let’s toss and turn this topic together!

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