AITA for not letting my niece help in my bakery anymore?

Emma, a 35-year-old bakery owner, pours her heart into her cozy shop, where the scent of fresh bread and pastries fills the air. Her small team of two part-time employees keeps the ovens humming, but this summer, her world turned upside down when she agreed to let her 11-year-old niece “help” at the bakery. What seemed like a sweet gesture to nurture a young baking enthusiast became a recipe for stress, leaving Emma and her staff frazzled.

The experience was anything but a piece of cake. Her niece’s presence disrupted the tight-knit workflow, turning the bustling kitchen into a chaotic classroom. When Emma gently declined her sister-in-law’s request to let the girl continue helping on weekends, family tempers flared. Now, with her sister-in-law and mother-in-law sending sharp messages, Emma wonders if protecting her business makes her the bad guy.

‘AITA for not letting my niece help in my bakery anymore?’

I (35F) own a small bakery. I'm very happy with it and proud of my work. I have two employees who work part time and for the most part it's just me. My SIL approached me at the beginning of the summer and asked if I would let my niece (F11) help out in the bakery over the school break.

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She has been getting really into baking and loves watching content creators baking and was apparently just dying to be able to job shadow/help out in a bakery. I was hesitant, but said yes. And I hated it. Every single minute that her niece spent in my bakery this summer was the only time I've ever had any regrets opening my business.

Whatever the opposite of helpful was, that was what my niece was. My employees didn't enjoy her being there, and I didn't enjoy her being there at all. We were three very grumpy people all summer. I had hopes that she would get better, but she didn't.

She started back to school last this week and I have never felt so relieved. I thought many times about telling my SIL that she couldn't come back during the summer, but since I had made the promise, I kept up with it. My SIL stopped by the house yesterday to drop something off for my husband.

She told me my niece had absolutely loved her experience this summer and wanted to know if she could come back a couple Saturdays a month. I told her that unfortunately that wasn't going to work and that going forward I didn't think it was a good idea for my niece to help out. I told her it just wasn't productive for us.

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My SIL was very unhappy. She told me that my niece had loved her summer at the bakery and was so looking forward to continuing. I told her that I was sorry, but I had a business to run and couldn't continue having her help out. This dissolved into a shouting match that my husband eventually broke up.

My SIL and MIL have been sending me n**ty messages about 'breaking a girl's heart.' My husband said my niece called him and was very upset, but he stands by me and understands that I can't let this bring down my workplace.. So am I being the a**hole?

Emma’s tale is a classic clash of family goodwill and business demands. Running a small bakery is a high-stakes dance, where every minute counts. Allowing an 11-year-old to “help” turned Emma’s workplace into a babysitting gig, disrupting her team’s rhythm. Her decision to prioritize her business over her niece’s enthusiasm is tough but understandable.

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The broader issue touches on workplace boundaries. According to the U.S. Department of Labor, children under 14 are generally restricted from working in non-agricultural settings like food service due to safety and health concerns. Emma’s niece, at 11, likely posed risks around hot ovens and sharp tools, potentially violating regulations. This underscores why her presence was more liability than help.

Business coach Marie Forleo advises, “Your business thrives when you set clear boundaries, even with family”. Forleo’s insight highlights Emma’s need to protect her livelihood. Her hesitation to communicate issues earlier may have fueled the family fallout, but her choice to draw a line now aligns with maintaining a professional environment.

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Moving forward, Emma could mend ties by offering her niece baking lessons at home, fostering her passion without compromising the bakery. Clear communication with her sister-in-law about workplace constraints could ease tension. This approach balances family ties with business needs, preserving both her livelihood and relationships.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit users rallied behind Emma, their support as firm as a well-baked loaf. Most agree her bakery isn’t a playground, emphasizing that an 11-year-old’s presence disrupts a professional kitchen. They applaud her for prioritizing her business, noting that her niece’s enthusiasm doesn’t outweigh operational needs.

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Some suggest Emma could have addressed issues earlier to avoid blindsiding her sister-in-law, but the consensus is clear: her livelihood comes first. Users highlight potential legal risks, like health code violations, reinforcing that Emma’s decision was pragmatic, not heartless.

EbonyDoe − NTA this isn't a hobby and isn't some daycare, it's your BUSINESS, your LIVELYHOOD! I don't know what niece did to be so bothersome but in the end it's your choice and you need to make a choice that works for your business

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WaywardMarauder − NTA. You run a legitimate business, not a day care. You are there to make baked goods for customers, not baby sit a child who probably shouldn’t be there in the first place. I’ll be honest, if I went to a food service place and saw a child running around behind the counter I’d be taking my business elsewhere.

-K_P- − I love how many people are like, 'wElL wHy WaS sHe So UnHeLpFuL? wHaT mAdE iT sO uNeNjOyAbLe?' Dude, it's a 3 person staffed bakery and she's ELEVEN. I'm no pro-baker and I can figure it out, lol, you guys don't have time to be teaching a kid and fixing the errors that ANY eleven year old would understandably make on a learning curve...

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it's not like you have 20 more staff to pick up the slack. The stress levels must have been off the charts having to add babysitter and teacher to an already full time job, what could POSSIBLY have been enjoyable about that for any of you? NTA.

Existing_Fox_6317 − NTA. If her mother is so keen to foster her interest, why does she not buy her some baking supplies and bake with her at home instead of dumping her on you for free childcare while you're trying to run a business?

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everellie − NTA. You should have fired her earlier in this summer. You were under no obligation to 'keep' a bad employee or babysit someone else's daughter for an entire summer. I don't know why this needed to devolve into a shouting match, but your business is a BUSINESS.

Children shouldn't be working there anyway. It probably breaks child labor laws or cleanliness laws or something. At any rate, she didn't have the skills or maturity to be a help to you. Never do a favor like this again. On a different vein--don't be baking free cakes for family, either. Especially family who send you n**ty messages.

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DismalDog7730 − 11-years-old in a work place is absolutely never her helping you, it's you babysitting her. Nice experience for the kid and parents, I'm sure, and cheaper than any hobby.... NTA.

Dry_Calligrapher_313 − NTA it’s not a game, this is your livelihood. It would be cruel to prioritise an 11 year old over your actual employees.

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Reckoner08 − The very minute the niece started negatively affecting your paid employees should've been the minute she was no longer welcome, honestly.

[Reddit User] − INFO: what *specifically* was wrong with her while helping there that you hated so much and was this never communicated to your SIL before now? It sounds like she was completley blindsided

EDIT: Okay my question hasn’t been answered but I’ll judge anyway. NTA *but* there are things from this whole ordeal that you need to learn from as while your actions were not AH behavior, they were stupid.

It was foolish to go along with this to begin with. Idk where you live but an 11 year old working in that environment would almost certainly violate child labor laws in most places and it’s kind of a miracle you survived the whole summer without someone making a phone call or review that could have put your whole business in jeoprady.

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It also sounds like you *never* told your SIL or her daughther that there was even any problems and played along. That was a mistake, you should have said something FOREVER ago and not blindside her when she asked for Saturdays.

It sounds like they had truly no idea you didn’t like it, but it’s not too late to clarify in my INFO above. So yeah, NTA but you need to think things through and stick up for yourself when something like this is going on.

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Low-Depth8791 − NTA There are definitely laws against having someone that young in the workplace. And even if she was old enough to have a job and be in the kitchen, if she's costing you money getting in your employees way and hindering the way your job works it's not worth it. It's an OSHA violation, it's a safety hazard, it's it's a health code violation. I've been cooking for 19 years professionally. You made the right decision

Emma’s story kneads the delicate balance between family and business. Her bakery, a labor of love, couldn’t afford the disruption of an eager but unhelpful niece. Yet, family backlash stings. How would you handle the clash between supporting loved ones and protecting your work? Share your thoughts below—let’s mix it up!

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