AITA for not letting my ex’s mother take my girls for Thanksgiving?

The crisp November air carries the promise of turkey and togetherness, but for one mom, a sudden call from her ex’s mother stirs unease instead of holiday cheer. Living paycheck to paycheck, she dreams of giving her young daughters a memorable Thanksgiving, but when her ex’s mom—silent for months—asks to take the girls, alarm bells ring. Haunted by a terrifying week when her ex vanished with them, she’s not ready to trust.

Proposing a compromise to host with the grandma’s help, she’s met with a flat refusal—only a trip to the ex’s family will do. As guilt trips pile up, she stands her ground, prioritizing safety over tradition. This tale of maternal instinct and fractured family ties pulls readers into a heart-wrenching clash, where love battles fear on a holiday meant for gratitude.

‘AITA for not letting my ex’s mother take my girls for Thanksgiving?’

Navigating family ties after a traumatic incident like a parental kidnapping is a minefield. Dr. Joshua Coleman, a family estrangement expert, notes in Rules of Estrangement , “Trust must be rebuilt gradually after betrayal, especially when children’s safety is at stake.” The mom’s refusal to let her daughters go stems from a legitimate fear, given her ex’s history and the restraining order against him.

The grandmother’s sudden request, after months of silence, raises red flags. Studies show 80% of parental abductions involve family members facilitating access (National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, 2024, Parental Abduction). Her insistence on excluding the mom and dismissing a compromise suggests possible ulterior motives, amplifying the mom’s distrust.

Coleman advises setting firm boundaries while keeping communication open. The mom could propose supervised visits in neutral settings, like the park she suggested, to rebuild trust gradually. Seeking a formal custody agreement, as some Redditors noted, would further protect her daughters.

For readers, prioritizing safety in high-stakes situations is crucial. If faced with similar doubts, trust your instincts and explore legal protections, like custody orders, to ensure peace of mind while fostering safe family connections.

Check out how the community responded:

The Reddit posse came out swinging, dishing out support with a side of savvy advice. From cheering the mom’s gut instincts to suggesting budget-friendly holiday ideas, the comments were a heartfelt mix of empathy and practicality. Here’s the raw scoop:

Redditors backed the mom’s protective stance, slamming the grandmother’s shady timing and pushiness. Some urged legal action; others shared creative ways to make the holiday special. But do these fiery takes capture the full picture, or just fuel the drama?

This holiday heartbreaker shows how past betrayals can cast long shadows over family ties. The mom’s fierce protection of her daughters clashes with the pull of tradition, leaving her torn between guilt and safety. Her story challenges us to weigh trust against instinct in family dynamics. What would you do if faced with a risky family request for your kids? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s gobble up this one!