AITA For not letting my ex take our sons overseas because our daughter can’t go?
In a cross-country co-parenting tangle, a mother faces a tough call: let her sons sail on a yacht adventure with their dad, or keep them home because their sister can’t go. The 17-year-old daughter opted out of visiting her father to stay with friends, leaving her crushed when her brothers got a dream trip invite.
The mom’s refusal to send passports sparks a family feud, with her ex and sons pushing back. This Reddit AITA post dives into fairness and family choices, leaving readers to debate: is she protecting her daughter, or unfairly grounding her sons?
‘AITA For not letting my ex take our sons overseas because our daughter can’t go?’
Co-parenting across state lines can stir up storms, especially when kids’ choices clash with family fairness. The mother, uneasy about her sons’ spontaneous yacht trip abroad, blocked it because her daughter, who skipped visiting her dad, can’t join. Her ex’s argument—that the daughter’s choice to stay home has consequences—clashes with the mom’s instinct to keep things equal, leaving the sons caught in the middle.
This highlights a common co-parenting dilemma: balancing each child’s autonomy with sibling equity. The daughter’s decision to prioritize friends is valid for a 17-year-old, but expecting to join exclusive trips without visiting her dad is unrealistic. Dr. Joshua Coleman, a family psychologist, notes, “Children’s choices in divorce should be respected, but parents must teach that decisions carry trade-offs.” The mother’s protective stance risks punishing the boys for their sister’s choice, fostering resentment.
A compromise—like letting the boys go while planning a special activity for the daughter—could ease tensions. The mother might also discuss the daughter’s feelings of exclusion to avoid favoritism perceptions.
Here’s how people reacted to the post:
Reddit’s dishing out some fiery takes, from blunt calls to sharp sympathy. Here’s what users think about this family travel drama:
![[Reddit User] - YTA If you’re allowing your daughter to make the decision to not visit with her Dad then the reality of that decision is ... she’s going to miss out on everything Dad does with the boys. Obviously. That’s the consequences of her choice.. Why would you actively work against your sons?. YTA eta — yes, of course your boys will blame you. You’re the one standing in their way. Who else would they blame?](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/236492c-04.png)
![[Reddit User] - YTA First, you should have urged your daughter to spend time with her dad. He was kind and didn't push her but I guarantee he was devastated. He wasn't merely disappointed. He didn't just shrug off the r**ection. He was wounded and felt it deeply. You need to muster up some empathy.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/236492c-06.png)
![[Reddit User] - YTA your daughter made the decision not to visit her dad and as a consequence is missing the trip. You are punishing your sons because your daughter decided to stay at home. Not cool.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/236492c-10.png)
These opinions pack a punch, but do they capture the full tug-of-war between fairness and feelings?
This co-parenting clash exposes the messy heart of family choices. Was the mom right to ground the boys’ trip for their sister’s sake, or is she robbing them of a rare adventure? Would you let the boys sail, or keep the family on equal footing? Share your thoughts below!
