AITA for not letting my brother come to Thanks giving dinner?

In a warm kitchen prepping for Thanksgiving, a woman faces a familiar family tension. Her brother, battling addiction for two decades, severed ties 15 years ago with a betrayal—stealing jewelry and using drugs in her home after she offered help. His recent sobriety and impending fatherhood have sparked hope, but the scars remain.

The holiday planning hit a snag when her mother pushed for his inclusion, citing his new life. After deep thought with her husband, she declined, only to be met with tears and guilt. Now, she questions if her boundary is fair or if family unity demands a second chance.

‘AITA for not letting my brother come to Thanks giving dinner?’

Setting boundaries with family, especially after betrayal, is a complex but necessary act. The woman’s refusal to invite her brother reflects a response to years of hurt, supported by therapist Dr. Nedra Glover Tawwab, who states, “Boundaries protect your peace when trust is broken” . His past actions justify her caution.

Addiction recovery often requires amends, as noted in a 2023 Journal of Addiction Medicine study, which emphasizes that reconciliation depends on the harmed party’s readiness. The mother’s plea, while heartfelt, overlooks this, pressuring the woman into an uncomfortable reunion. His lack of restitution reinforces her stance.

Dr. Tawwab suggests clear communication and gradual steps if reconciliation is pursued. Her firm “no” was direct, though a softer explanation might ease her mother’s distress. The guilt she feels is natural but doesn’t negate her right to prioritize her home’s safety.

For her, maintaining distance while open to future dialogue could balance family ties. For others, respecting a loved one’s healing timeline after addiction fosters healthier relationships. Her decision honors her journey, not just the holiday.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s community overwhelmingly supports the woman, labeling her NTA for protecting her space after her brother’s betrayal. They note his lack of apology or restitution as key, suggesting he must earn trust back.

The consensus advises holding firm, with some urging her to ignore her mother’s pressure and focus on her peace. A few see her mother’s view as understandable but agree the brother’s past actions warrant exclusion for now.

As Thanksgiving tables set, her choice underscores the weight of broken trust. It’s a poignant reminder that forgiveness takes time. How do you navigate family pressure after deep hurt? Share your stories below let’s keep the conversation alive!