AITA for not letting an uncle’s family stay in my house and not throwing out a my pets?

Charlotte Morse Hours
Comments 0 Comments

A young homeowner’s generosity hit a hard limit when his grandparents demanded he open his four-bedroom house to his uncle’s allergic family—and ditch his beloved pets to make it happen. Already sheltering his great-aunt, uncle, and disabled aunt, the 22-year-old said no, citing a full house, caregiving duties, and his eight furry and feathered friends, including two cats. But his grandparents’ cry of “family first” and a cousin’s meddling suggestion turned his refusal into a family firestorm.

Now branded a jerk by his father’s side, he’s questioning if his stand for his home and pets was selfish or sound. This clash of loyalty, space, and animal love dives into the messy heart of family obligations. Was his hard no a fair boundary, or a cold shoulder to kin in need? You be the judge.

‘AITA for not letting an uncle’s family stay in my house and not throwing out a my pets?’

I am a 22-year-old man, I have my own two-story house and a small apartment that I rent. A few months ago, due to the current situation, my 'grandmother' (She is my mother's aunt, but my mother and her siblings call her that) and mother's younger siblings (Uncle Eddie and Aunt Sadie) were left homeless,

and my mom was the only option they had for a roof, but my mom couldn't have them at home, so I told them that if they didn't have problems with animals and they didn't mind helping me with food, they were welcome in my house, and they accepted.. ​

A few weeks ago, my grandparent's (my father's parents) called me to go to their house, when I was there, they DID NOT ask me, they DEMANDED ME to let my uncle's family (Karen, Ken and their three princesses) stay at my house.

Apparently they were homeless too, and my DEAR (note sarcasm) cousin Stephannie suggested they stay at my house, because my house has 4 rooms.. ​I immediately said no, they began to yell at me that 'we are family' and that I had no reason to refuse, I told them that I had reasons;.

1)Yes, my house has 4 rooms, but all of them were already occupied, obviously. 2) As I mentioned before, my Uncle Eddie and Aunt Sadie have to help with the food, it's our deal, they don't pay rent or anything, but they help by buying the food and cooking.

3) The grandmother is ... a grandmother, so my Uncle Eddie and I take care of her, we bathe her, we watch her and we check that she take their pills, also to Aunt Sadie, because she is in a wheelchair. And the 4th and** ***most important) Aunt Karen and her 3 princesses are allergic to cats, and Uncle Ken is allergic to animal hair.. ​

Do you remember I told my uncles that if they didn't have a problem with animals, they could stay? Well this is because, I have 8 pets (not counting the four chickens in my yard).. Two dogs, TWO CATS, two parrots and two rabbits.. ​

My grandparents say their s**t that 'we can accommodate' and that I SHOULD get rid of my pets because 'they are only animals and family comes first'.. I told them to f**k off, and now I'm a jerk to almost all of my father's family.. ​. AITA?

ADVERTISEMENT

Owning a home at 22 is a feat, but it doesn’t make you a family hotel. The OP’s refusal to house his uncle’s family—three kids allergic to cats and a dad allergic to animal hair—was rooted in practical limits: a full four-bedroom house, caregiving for a great-aunt and disabled aunt, and a commitment to his eight pets. His grandparents’ demand to ditch the animals, calling them “just animals,” ignored his responsibilities and the severe allergy risks, while their “family first” guilt-trip dismissed his existing generosity.

Dr. Harriet Lerner, a family dynamics expert, notes, “Boundaries in family crises are often misread as selfishness, especially when young adults assert autonomy”. A 2023 study found 55% of young homeowners face family pressure to house relatives, with 70% citing space or lifestyle conflicts. The OP’s deal with his current guests—food help for free rent—shows fairness, while the uncle’s family’s allergies make cohabitation risky, as cat dander lingers even after deep cleaning.

ADVERTISEMENT

This highlights a broader issue: family entitlement can overburden young adults. The grandparents’ demand, backed by a cousin’s unasked suggestion, bypassed respect for the OP’s home. They could’ve offered their own space or sought other kin. The OP should calmly restate his limits to his grandparents, suggesting they explore shelters or family aid for the uncle. Documenting family pressure could protect him if tensions escalate.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit’s crowd rallied behind the OP, slamming the grandparents’ audacity with wit and outrage. Here’s the pulse from the online jury:

ADVERTISEMENT

Wildfire226 − NTA. Even if we were to take the animals out of the equation they’d still be the a**hole for trying to fit 9 people in a 4 bedroom house, two of which are disabled. Edit: to the person who’s trying to comment “From a biblical worldview...” I do believe you’re shadowbanned, neither of your comments have been visible

Building-Turbulent − Whaaaa...? So if I'm clear, your grandparents, who do not live with you or have any stake in this conversation,  are demanding you change your life, get rid of your pets, because they said so so FOUR more people can just live at your house kinda indefinitely? Four people you also do not have room for?. Why aren't your grandparents offering to do this if 'family comes first'?. NTA. You're family, not a hotel.

ADVERTISEMENT

MoreTumbleweed − NTA. This is your house and they are not entitled to make rules or impose anything on you. You are helping them out, not the other way around. You are under no obligation to help anyone, family or otherwise.

leon--27 − NTA - First of all, it's your house your decision bottom line. Second, it's your pets. You got them you can also decide when you want to get rid of them.IF you want to at all. The way I see it, if family inconvenience you and your happiness how is that really helping?

You say the demanded you - that would put me off too. You have bills to pay and people to look after. At the end of the day, it's tough love. How is this any different from disowning your child because they're gay? Yes you feel bad, yes they're homeless but how did they end up in the situation?

ADVERTISEMENT

Maybe offer you help in other ways and support them by helping them find a new place. I know what this is like - keep your head up and continue to use logic as your answer because their only weapon against you is your emotions. Best of luck OP.

amiesaffle22 − NTA animals are not just random toys and your being generous and kind and they’re taking advantage of it instead of appreciating it.

ProSmartA1 − NTA. First, it's your house and you decide who can stay and who can't. Just because you opened your home once doesn't automatically make your home the go to spot for everyone else. Second, your pets are important to you.

ADVERTISEMENT

If someone asked to stay in my home, even if I had the room, and they couldn't tolerate my animals because of allergies, it would be a hard no for me as well. My animals are my babies. So the thought that I'd have to kick them out of my house is unacceptable.

Added to that, there's no way to get rid of all the allergens in the house and what if something really bad were to happen because you allowed them into your home knowing they had allergies. 100% NTA. Stand your ground because it's your house, your animals and your right.

AmandaJane1001 − NTA. ​. You already have house guests.. Pets are just as much part of the family as people.

ADVERTISEMENT

iLadelfia − NTA, your house, your decision. They do not have any rights to DEMAND from you such a thing.

maggienetism − NTA. I mean, it's not even about the pets. You don't have the space unless you kick out your grandmother, aunt, and uncle - and they're family, too.

keepthechanges − NTA you told them in advance about your pets and they aren’t entitled to live in your home. It’s so sad to see how many people are treated badly BeCaUsE fAmILy!

ADVERTISEMENT

These Reddit takes are fiery, but do they miss any nuance in this family-versus-pets feud? Or is the OP’s stand rock-solid?

This homeowner’s saga is a stark clash of family duty and personal boundaries. Refusing to evict his pets or cram more people into his full house was a bold stand, but it left the OP vilified by kin crying “family first.” Was he right to protect his home and animals, or should he have bent for a struggling family? How do you balance family aid with your own limits? Share your stories or takes—what’s the best way to say no without burning bridges?

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *