AITA for not letting a person with a medical condition use my private bathroom late at night?

The dim glow of a shop’s open sign cuts through the quiet of a late night in an old part of town, where storefronts sleep and public restrooms are a myth. For one small business owner, living above their shop, the night took a tense turn when a woman burst in, urgently requesting a bathroom due to a medical condition. With no public facilities and only a private toilet upstairs, the owner faced a dilemma: open their home to a stranger or hold firm.

Her insistence and threats to report them left the air thick with unease, especially as the owner grappled with safety concerns in an empty neighborhood. This story dives into the clash of compassion and caution, where personal boundaries meet desperate needs. Was the owner cold-hearted, or just protecting their sanctuary? Let’s unravel this late-night standoff.

‘AITA for not letting a person with a medical condition use my private bathroom late at night?’

I own a small business in this small shop. This shop has a small apartment on top where I live. I was still open late last night when all the other stores nearby were closed. A woman came in asking to use my restroom. I told her we didn’t have public restrooms.

This is in an old part of town where all the storefronts dont have restrooms. Just bathrooms in the upstairs apartments that they don’t have access to. One of the stores built bathrooms behind them and for a fee will let the neighboring businesses have access to them.

I didn’t see the point in paying the fee to get access to them because my business doesn’t have any employees and isn’t required to have an employee restroom.. She said she had a medical condition and needed to use the employee restroom.

When I said I didn’t have one she said I was required to have one (I’m not) and let her use it. So where was my restroom.. I told her how I don’t have any employees. She looked upset and asked where I went.. I said I live in the apartment upstairs, but she can’t use my private toilet.

I didn’t want a stranger in my private residence. Especially since it was late at night an no one else was around. The whole idea made me uneasy. I told her where the closest gas station was. It was admittedly kind of far though because I knew no one else in the area would be open.. She left after asking what was the matter with me and that she was going to report me.

Balancing empathy with personal safety is a tightrope walk, especially for a solo business owner late at night. The owner’s refusal to allow a stranger into their private apartment bathroom, despite the woman’s medical condition, prioritizes a fundamental boundary: the sanctity of one’s home. As safety expert Dr. Judith Orloff notes, “Intuition is key in high-stakes situations; discomfort with strangers often signals a need for caution” (source: Psychology Today).

ADVERTISEMENT

The woman’s medical urgency is understandable—conditions like Crohn’s disease affect 1.6 million Americans, often requiring immediate bathroom access (source: Crohn’s & Colitis Foundation). Yet, her entitlement and threats suggest a lack of respect for the owner’s limits, especially in a private residence. The owner’s offer to direct her to a gas station, though distant, was a reasonable alternative given the circumstances.

Dr. Orloff advises trusting gut instincts in such encounters. The owner could maintain empathy by researching nearby public restroom options for future incidents, but they’re not obligated to compromise safety. Clear signage stating “No Public Restroom” might deter similar conflicts.

ADVERTISEMENT

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit users didn’t mince words, tossing out opinions with the sharpness of a closing shop shutter. Most backed the owner’s right to protect their home, with some suspecting ulterior motives behind the woman’s pushiness.

stateofgrace17 - NTA you always have the right to deny entry into your home to strangers. I feel for this woman with a medical condition, but you can’t demand to enter someone’s home.

ADVERTISEMENT

sleeeighbells - NTA. You don’t have a public bathroom, end of discussion. It also doesn’t make you an a**hole that you don’t allow complete strangers into your own home to use the bathroom. There’s nothing wrong with you, she just happen to choose a business that isn’t required to have a public bathroom.

ShoddyCheesecake - NTA. It's an unfortunate shituation, but you're well within your rights to be uncomfortable allowing strangers into your house. She happened to choose poorly. You did the best you could while protecting yourself and not opening your home up to this kind of stuff in the future. You're allowed to have boundaries.

[Reddit User] - NTA. I was wavering until she started quoting her understanding of bathroom regulations; there was more going on with her than the need to use a toilet. You were wise to say no, especially since it was late at night.

Grizzabella00 - NTA She should have taken no for an answer, she's not entitled to enter your home. Even if you had an employee bathroom, she's not your employee and you wouldn't have been obligated to let her use it.

ADVERTISEMENT

Winkerbelles - NTA. Your private space is your own. You are under no obligation to let a stranger in your home. Who does she think she's going to report you to anyway?

AlexTMcgn - As somebody with a medical condition, too, that requires quite frequent and often urgent trips to the bathroom: NTA. Especially not if said bathroom is in your private home.

jjwslot - NTA, but lock the shop door when you work past posted hours.

ADVERTISEMENT

e30Devil - NTA. Her 3 friends were waiting outside to rob you blind when you turned your back to watch her in your private residence to make sure she wasn't stealing. Or at least that's a reasonable assumption to make.

ugh-leavemealone - NTA. You're not required to have a bathroom in your shop, you're absolutely not required to allow a stranger in your house, especially when seeming so entitled about it.

Don't get me wrong, being in those shoes f**king blows, I've definitely had to go to the bathroom horribly bad, but I'd not be standing around arguing when there is another option down the road.

ADVERTISEMENT

These Reddit takes are bold, but do they strike the right balance between empathy and self-preservation, or are they too quick to judge?

This late-night tale is a stark reminder that compassion has limits when safety’s on the line. The shop owner’s stand to keep their home private wasn’t heartless—it was human, rooted in the unease of facing a stranger’s demands alone. While the woman’s plight tugs at the heart, boundaries aren’t negotiable in a private sanctuary. Have you ever had to choose between helping someone and protecting your space? What would you do in this owner’s shoes? Let’s spark a conversation.

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *