AITA for not inviting my unsupportive sister to my wedding?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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A crisp autumn evening, the glow of a phone screen, and a text that changes everything. A young woman, brimming with the thrill of new love, shares her engagement news, only to face her sister’s cautious words. At 24, she’s ready to walk down the aisle with Derrick, her partner of six months, but her sister’s doubts spark a family rift. The decision to exclude her sister from the wedding guest list feels justified—yet whispers of doubt linger. Is love enough to override family ties, or has impulsiveness clouded her judgment?

The clash captures a universal tension: the heady rush of romance versus the grounding voice of reason. Readers are drawn into the emotional tug-of-war, wondering if the bride-to-be’s choice is a bold stand for love or a hasty move she might regret. The story unfolds with raw honesty, inviting us to explore the cost of following your heart.

‘AITA for not inviting my unsupportive sister to my wedding?’

I (24 F) got engaged to Derrick (30 M) one month ago. Prior to that, we had known each other for six months. I know that’s not a long time, but when you know, you know. We are madly in love and ready to commit ourselves to each other fully. My sister (26 F) has a problem with that though.

She was supportive of my relationship with Derrick before we got engaged. When I sent her a text telling her we were engaged, she responded by saying “congratulations.” But then when I saw her the week after that, she got all serious and said I should strongly consider the marriage. She told me I was young and could meet people I loved more.

That was offensive to me because I love Derrick more than anything, and she’s basically saying my love isn’t that important. She also told me that Derrick and I could date for longer before we got married. But we are already fully committed to each other, so we might as well get married and be recognized as soul mates in the eyes of the law.

Anyway, the conversation was so hurtful to me. I eventually asked her, very directly, “do you support me marrying Derrick?” She said no. So I stood up, told her she shouldn’t be at the wedding if she didn’t want us to get married, and left. I haven’t talked to her since, although she has texted me multiple times asking to talk.

Derrick and I were working on the wedding guest list yesterday, and we both agreed my sister should not come if she doesn’t support us. So we are planning not to invite her. I mentioned this to my friend yesterday, and she pointed out that it may be a little rude of me not to invite her. So, AITA for not inviting my unsupportive sister to my wedding?

This whirlwind engagement has all the makings of a rom-com, but with real stakes. Deciding to marry after six months can feel like a leap of faith—or a leap off a cliff. The sister’s hesitation isn’t just meddling; it reflects a broader concern about rushing into lifelong commitments.

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes in his research that “couples who know each other’s values, goals, and conflict styles before marriage are better equipped for longevity.” Six months may spark passion, but it’s rarely enough to navigate life’s bigger tests—like financial stress or family loss. The sister’s advice to wait likely stems from this, aiming to protect rather than undermine.

The bride-to-be feels her love is dismissed, but her sister’s stance isn’t anti-Derrick—it’s pro-caution. Cutting her sister out risks isolating a key support system, which Psychology Today warns can weaken resilience in relationships. A sarcastic nod to the drama: banning your sister might feel empowering, but it’s a plot twist that could backfire.

Instead, open dialogue could bridge the gap. The bride could acknowledge her sister’s concerns while affirming her choice, fostering understanding without ultimatums. Taking time to discuss values with Derrick, as Gottman suggests, might also solidify their bond.

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Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of support and shade. Here’s what they had to say, raw and unfiltered:

DaLoCo6913 − YTA. You have not known him long enough to actually love him, you are infatuated. On top of that you are ready to ruin the relationship with your sister for a guy you actually do not know?

Edit: The fact that he is ready to allow for estrangement is very concerning. Second edit: Narcissists and abusers like to isolate their victims. That is my concern regarding him encouraging the rift with her sister.

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lihzee − I don't know if YTA per se, but I think you're being very naïve and I agree with your sister.

CivilAsAnOrang − YTA. You’re upset because your sister expressed honest concern. Your response was childish. And kicking her out of your wedding is equally so.

It_s_just_me − YTA, six years older man, 6 months total length of relationship. That is throwing red flags all over the place. Your sister is trying to protect you. It is possible that your relationship will be OK, but I'd doubt it.

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Own-Whereas-7420 − YTA. I’m sorry, but 6 months ain’t enough. What’s people’s problems with waiting? I don’t get it.. y’all can’t be madly in love for like a year or something?? 😅 Also, your sister is just concerned. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t like your fiancé or is “unsupportive” of y’all’s relationship, just the ‘getting married so fast’ part.

squirrelsareevil2479 − YTA. Getting married is not being recognized as soulmates in the eyes of the law. You don't have a realistic view of what marriage is. Your sister is supporting you by giving you the best advice she can.

Are you willing to torpedo your relationship with your sister forever because she hurt your feelings regarding your relationship? If your relationship is meant to last, it will survive a reasonable amount of time before the wedding. Think carefully before you over react to your sister's words of caution.

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her_ladyships_soap − You are not mature enough to be married. YTA. Edited to add that the reason people wait until later in their relationships to get married is not always because they're not sure they love each other enough to commit. It's very often so that they can get a fuller view of each other as people.

After six months, how many arguments have you had? Do you know how each other handles conflict? What about a life-altering situation like the death of a family member or a serious illness? Have you had to make any major decisions together about money, where to live, etc? Big experiences like this tell you a lot about a person and a potential future spouse.

RememberKoomValley − YTA, and she's not being unsupportive of your relationship, she's being supportive of you.

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Common_Exam_1401 − INFO: How much about Derrick do you know? because I feel like your sister maybe right about not wanting you to get married, I mean you've only dated 6 months and he pops the question, that's very suspicious if you ask me

Pepper-90210 − YTA. Your sister said nothing negative about Derrick or your love for one another. She gave you incredibly GOOD advice. If my 24 year old sister got engaged after only a few months of dating, I’d give the same advice too. (It’s concerning to me how readily you and Derrick are to cut your sister out. This is a big red flag to me).

These Redditors swung hard, with most labeling the bride-to-be as overly reactive. They see the sister as a voice of reason, not a villain, and raise eyebrows at Derrick’s quick agreement to cut family ties. But are these hot takes fanning the flames or cutting through the fog?

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This tale of love and loyalty leaves us pondering where to draw the line. The bride-to-be’s passion is undeniable, but her sister’s caution carries weight. Excluding family from a wedding is a bold move—one that might echo beyond the big day. Balancing heart and head is never easy, especially when love feels all-consuming. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s keep the conversation going.

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