AITA for not inviting my uncle’s girlfriend and her kid to my wedding?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Picture a cozy family Zoom call on Thanksgiving, plates piled high with turkey and mashed potatoes, when suddenly, chaos erupts. A Reddit user’s decision to exclude their uncle’s girlfriend, Sandy, and her daughter, Amy, from their upcoming wedding has ignited a firestorm of family drama. The air is thick with tension as Sandy’s entitlement clashes with the family’s patience, leaving everyone questioning boundaries and loyalty.

This tale of clashing personalities and a savage grandma’s clapback has Reddit buzzing. The OP’s dilemma—whether to invite Sandy and Amy despite their disruptive antics—strikes a chord with anyone who’s navigated tricky family dynamics. With emotions running high, let’s dive into this juicy saga and explore why the wedding guest list became a battleground.

‘AITA for not inviting my uncle’s girlfriend and her kid to my wedding?’

We’ve never like my uncle’s girlfriend, Sandy, or her 12 year old kid, Amy. Sandy has the exclusive right to parent my uncle’s kids without question, but if my uncle even asks Amy to sit down for dinner she goes crying to her mom and my uncle is getting lectured on boundaries, how she’s not his kid.

Amy is a mini Sandy, full of herself and has to insert herself in everything. First month they were dating we did family pictures. Nobody knew who Sandy or Amy were when they showed up for the pictures. We politely asked them if we could get just family pictures first.

My grandma just wanted pictures with her kids and grandkids, not even my father was in the pictures and my mom and him have been together for almost 40 years. Sandy threw a fit claiming she was being alienated by my grandma and that my grandma is just of her because my uncle is dating her not my grandma (what??? Why would my grandma want to date her son???).

Then a couple of months later Sandy starts showing up almost everywhere my grandma went (she lived alone in a different state for the first few months of quarantine)! Grandma had to go get groceries at Costco? Sandy was there “thinking about applying for a membership”.

My grandma had to go to the pharmacy? Oh what a coincidence, “the other pharmacy didn’t have my medication” so she had to go to the one 35 minutes away that’s in my grandmas town. Anyway, onto Thanksgiving Day’s events. All of us decided to hop on Zoom so we could have thanksgiving dinner “together” when my uncle started getting tons of phone calls and texts causing him to step away.

When he came back he said “sorry that was Sandy and Amy, they’re upset they weren’t invited so I sent them the link.” Now, we did this for 2 reasons, 1) they’re both self centered, and 2) Sandy is still married and living with her husband who also joins the call.

First we hear Amy crying and screaming in the background like a 2 year old having a tantrum, then Sandy starts screaming at us calling us selfish bastards, and then to top it off HER HUSBAND starts laying into us about disrespecting “his wife”. Before you ask, no, they’re apparently not in an open relationship; Sandy and her husband allegedly just want the benefits.

Anyway, my grandma, being the savage little old lady she is, pipes up saying “See? This is why nobody here like you. This is why we do everything without you. This is my I’m so glad that you and that rabid kid of yours aren’t invited to my granddaughter’s wedding.” From there all hell broke loose and there was even more crying from Amy,

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and Sandy started to cry saying that we’re “targeting her” and so on. My wedding isn’t for over a year, so if she turned her attitude around even to be pleasant, she’d be invited to keep peace. So, AITA for not inviting my uncle’s girlfriend to my wedding?. Thank you stranger for the gold and the love of my savage grandma!

Navigating family drama at a wedding can feel like tiptoeing through a minefield. The OP’s situation, where Sandy’s entitlement disrupts family harmony, raises questions about boundaries and respect. Sandy’s actions—crashing events and demanding inclusion—highlight a deeper issue of overstepping in blended families.

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Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Healthy boundaries are the foundation of strong relationships, allowing individuals to maintain respect and autonomy” (source: Gottman Institute). Sandy’s refusal to respect the family’s space, coupled with Amy’s tantrums, suggests a lack of these boundaries, creating friction. Her marriage to another man further complicates her role, as the family struggles to define her place.

This scenario reflects a broader issue: blending families requires clear communication and mutual respect. A 2020 study from the Pew Research Center shows that 40% of U.S. adults have at least one step-relative, often leading to tension over roles and expectations (source: Pew Research). Sandy’s insistence on being central, despite her short tenure and ongoing marriage, exacerbates this.

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Advice: The OP should calmly discuss boundaries with their uncle, emphasizing the wedding’s focus on family unity. Setting firm guest list rules, backed by a neutral explanation, can prevent escalation. If Sandy’s behavior improves, a conditional invite might keep the peace, but prioritizing the OP’s comfort is key.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit didn’t hold back, and the comments are a wild ride—think popcorn-worthy drama with a side of savage wit. Here’s what the community had to say:

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Not_Cleaver − NTA - What a shitshow. I was prepared to say you should invite them as a favor to your uncle as it would create drama. But someone should tell your uncle to not date married women, even if they’re only married for the “benefits.”

riritreetop − NTA, your wedding, your rules, your guest list. Make sure you get a good bouncer to keep them out. Even if they weren’t awful human beings (which they are), the same statement would still apply.

yknjs- − NTA. Sandy and Amy sound like raging attention seekers and your entire family, especially your grandma, seem absolutely, completely and utterly sick of their b**lshit. They WILL make the wedding about them and every perceived slight against them. They WILL cause a scene.

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They WILL make the rest of your family feel uncomfortable with their entitlement and antics. Your uncle might be the biggest a**hole of all here, though - why the hell is he letting this awful person and her nightmare of a kid dictate to his own children? Gross.

InsertMyNameHere9154 − NTA.....She tried to insert herself in a family portrait the first 2 weeks they were dating? Lmao...crazy hussy! Yes...I use the term hussy strongly because she has a husband and a boyfriend...both of which are spineless fools!!! Her hubby really got mad because you were treating his still legal wife like crap?

I am having a good time with this one! There’s so much more I can say but won’t so as not to have my comment deleted. Don’t invite her to the wedding....I’m trying hard not to say your uncle either because he just might try and make her his plus one or something and then she will want to be the center of attention by getting him to propose or something equally a HAM....

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ollyator − NTA... please tell me someone booted Sandy from the Zoom call.

lisainpurgatory − NTA. Don’t invite her or her daughter. I promise you, they will make your wedding about themselves and ruin it. It’s supposed to be a magical day. They will 100% cause a scene. You have no obligation to invite them.

CoderJoe1 − INFO, so Sandy is still married (not to your uncle) and also dating your uncle?

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TisRevolutionTime − NTA people can’t act self-centered and not concerned for wishes from your family then expect to be welcomed and greeted like they’re the best people in the world. Though, maybe you should’ve explained to your uncle about the dinner and the boundaries, they didn’t have entitlement to come. I personally know blood family that don’t get invited, but they know why and are ok with it.

[Reddit User] − NTA... she’s married, so all your uncle is is a side piece. You don’t bring your married girlfriend to a family wedding.

synesthesiah − NTA. Your wedding, your money, your choice. End of story. (Also I love your grandma, what a saint for speaking the minds of everyone involved). As someone who invited well behaving yet usually troublesome “relatives” to my wedding - don’t. Here’s my “keeping the peace” invite horror story.

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I invited my mom’s toxic husband and his Brat of a child (similar age at the time) to my wedding which was very small but lush ($1,000 a head, 55 people). I put my MOH/sister in charge of making sure that Brat didn’t act up or do anything stupid. Within 10mins of the ceremony ending, Brat led my jr.

Bridesmaid (developmentally disabled) through the apple orchard where they were told they could not go, during picture time. Jr Bridesmaid is dealthly allergic to bees. What does Brat do? Takes her to the on site bee boxes. My sister obviously deals with it, leads them back and gives a stern “you were told not to, now you have to behave”.

Brat cried like a banshee, embarrassing me and making a scene in front of my in laws. So I tromp over in my dress, cross my arms and in a quiet, deathly stern voice say “No, this isn’t happening, you’re not making a scene at my wedding in front of all my family.” Toxic husband stepped in and said that we “had no right to talk to his daughter like that”, despite the fact that it was my day,

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and my sister was given strict instructions which we made everyone aware of. He made a huge scene, tried to run me, my mom and my sister over in the parking lot when my mom went to the car to get her things before he left. If the kid has a crap attitude now, they’ll find a way do so at the wedding. Save yourself the embarrassment.

These hot takes from Reddit are spicy, but do they mirror reality? The consensus leans toward supporting the OP, with many warning that Sandy and Amy could hijack the wedding’s joy. It’s a reminder that online opinions, while entertaining, often amplify the loudest voices.

This wedding saga shows how fast family ties can fray when entitlement enters the chat. The OP’s choice to exclude Sandy and Amy feels justified, but it’s a tough call that risks more drama. With a year until the big day, there’s time to mend fences—or build stronger ones. What would you do if you were in the OP’s shoes? Share your thoughts and experiences below—have you ever had to draw a line with tricky family members?

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