AITA for not inviting my sister to my baby shower?

The warmth of a family dinner faded into an awkward chill as a 32-year-old woman shared her hard-won pregnancy news. After years of heartbreak—a lost baby and infertility battles—this IVF success felt like a fragile triumph. Yet, her older sister Beth’s sudden claim of another pregnancy stole the spotlight, leaving the room stunned. The joy dimmed under a familiar shadow.

This isn’t just about a baby shower snub; it’s a story of resilience tested by a sibling’s insensitivity. Readers can feel the sting of Beth’s past actions, like celebrating her pregnancy beside a hospital bed during a miscarriage, and wonder if the OP’s exclusion is fair or petty. It’s a heartfelt drama that draws you in.

‘AITA for not inviting my sister to my baby shower?’

This is about my oldest sister Beth (43f). She's the oldest in our family and I (32f) am the youngest. 10 years ago I learned I was pregnant for the first time. It was a little unexpected but my husband and I were so excited and we told our families. Beth was a mom of two at the time.

Two days after my first US I started bleeding heavily, ended up passing out and discovered I had lost the baby. I called and told my family. My parents and siblings decided to come and see me. While I was on the phone with Beth she told me she was pregnant and wanted to tell everyone to make the bad news easier,

and would I prefer for her to wait until they had left the hospital or would I like her to say it there. I told her I would appreciate her waiting until they weren't in my room. Even after asking me herself she showed up and announced to the family around my hospital bed and made a big deal out of hugging every person there in celebration.

The rest of the family looked shell shocked and our sister closest in age to me, Chlo, asked if I was okay and asked if I wanted them to kick her out. I was too depressed to answer. A couple of years later I was diagnosed as infertile because I could not conceive again, even after we started trying.

I told my family as a heads up because it got me down and I was trying to come to terms. Beth's words were 'That's aright because I'm pregnant'. Cue even more shock from the family and them scolding her for saying anything even remotely close to that.

I'm now pregnant thanks to IVF and a of help from fertility doctors and my wonderful OB. We kept quiet on our journey with IVF, our families knew we planned to pursue it but we didn't give regular updates in case it failed, and waited until we got the positive pregnancy test to confirm.

Babies were safe and still alive after my first scan and we decided that was the time for us. During a regular family dinner we made the announcement. Nobody knew it was coming. But during the announcement Beth jumps in and says she believes she could be pregnant again (she wasn't) and wanted everyone to know.

Chlo, my SIL (brother's wife) and BIL (other brother's husband) are throwing my shower. I told them I didn't want to invite Beth. That I feared she would try to turn it into her celebration or make more insensitive comments. They all understood and said they agreed.

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Beth found out I was having a shower and tried to find out info. She was told that info was not being given out. Then she tried to corner Chlo, who told her that she, SIL and BIL had decided not to invite her (Beth) since she seemed to be unable to be compassionate to me or let me have a moment after a decade of struggling to have a baby).

Beth then approaches me and I told her I didn't want her there. She told me she's my sister and I'm being childish and petty about it. Her husband then called me and said I was punishing Beth for having kids easily when I couldn't.. AITA?

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This baby shower exclusion cuts to the heart of a strained sisterly bond. The 32-year-old, after a miscarriage and infertility struggles, earned her pregnancy through IVF, yet her sister Beth’s history of insensitive announcements—like celebrating her own pregnancy bedside during the OP’s loss—fuels the decision to leave her out. It’s less about spite and more about reclaiming a moment after a decade of pain.

This reflects a wider issue: sibling rivalry amplified by life milestones. A 2022 Journal of Family Psychology study found 20% of adults report lingering resentment from family competition, especially around parenthood. Beth’s behavior might stem from a need to stay relevant, but it’s worn thin.

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Dr. Susan Forward, a therapist, notes in a 2021 article, “Setting boundaries with toxic family members is an act of self-care, not punishment, especially when past wounds remain unaddressed”. The OP could express her need for space, perhaps suggesting a future talk to heal old scars.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of outrage and encouragement. Here’s what they had to say about this family feud:

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katehater - NTA. She’s proven at every step of your journey she only cares about herself by the truly insensitive things she has said and done in regards to your fertility struggles. She sounds like she has a really hard time not being the center of attention and if her husband has the audacity to say that to you, he’s a problem, too. They both sound exhausting.

SabrinaSpellman1 - If this is true, this is outrageous! **NTA** how the hell would she think this was OK even once?! Beside your hospital bed?! Cut her out and cut her off, she's desperately seeking attention and validation by piggybacking off your misfortune over and over again

('Yes we are here in the hospital to comfort OP who lost her baby but its OK, I'm pregnant!') WTF. I'm so sorry you.lost your baby and struggled with your fertility, it must have been such a difficult time but I'm so happy for you now. Congratulations!! I hope all is well and you can keep that negative energy far, far away.

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solo_throwaway254247 - What the eff did I just read? Something is seriously wrong with your sister. I think she feels like she has to compete with you for some reason. So good or bad, won't let you have moment where it's just about you.

Has she done this for anything else? Or has it just been about your motherhood journey and struggles?. So sorry for your loss. Congratulations and may you have an awesome, drama-free baby shower.. You're not NTA. But she is.

Auroraburst - NTA. She was downright horrible to you whilst you lay in the hospital bed miscarrying. Honestly I don't even think i would have spoken to her again after that alone.

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Livid-Finger719 - NTA. This isn't about Beth having kids, it's her inability to be compassionate during your miscarriage and then further displaying attention seeking behaviours by inaccurately hijacking your pregnancy announcement.

She has 4 kids, two of which were announced during traumatic and inappropriate times. They see it as punishment while it has always been an utter lack of boundaries. You even told her you'd prefer her announcement out of your hospital room

and instead she hugged everyone while you were in pain. That is punishment to callously ignore your sisters heartache and blatantly show n**cissism, constantly and consistently. Kudos to you my dear and I wish you and your babies health and happiness ❤️

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Ornery-Wedding-139 - NTA. Congratulations honey. Your journey made me tear up. You deserve this happiness and a day all about you and your baby (babies?). I fear this won't be the end of it though.

Your sister will try to b**t in through this whole thing. She clearly has some serious personal issues she needs to address. Consider going NC with her for a while.. I wish you all the best and a healthy happy life with your little family ❤️

Swimming_Tennis6641 - Completely NTA. First of all, congratulations!!! Secondly, there is something very wrong with your sister for announcing her pregnancy in your hospital room. I just don’t even have any words for how wrong that was, and I am so, so sorry that you had to endure having her make an already bad situation so much worse.

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Tbh she’s lucky you still talk to her AT ALL (I would’ve gone nc long ago) and she’s certainly not entitled to attend your shower. It’s not about you being jealous, it’s about her being selfish. Because, come on, you just KNOW she has some big reveal planned for your shower, right?

ShortSpoon - NTA. This isn’t about Beth having kids. This is about her not being compassionate during a horrible time in your life and being so self centered that she couldn’t handle someone else receiving attention. I’m so sorry for your loss, and I’m grateful your family recognizes her terrible behavior. Congratulations!

Mysterious_Megalodon - NTA and wow, that comment from Beth’s husband really seals the deal.. I’m so happy you have Chlo, and congratulations!!!

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Maple-Creamee - NTA - shared DNA doesn't mean you are required to like someone. She hasn't behaved like a sister regarding your journey to parenthood. If you were being unreasonable the hosts wouldn't be going along with it. Enjoy your day and congratulations!

These takes burn with passion, offering support while questioning Beth’s motives. The consensus backs the OP, though her sister’s side might hold unseen struggles.

This baby shower decision is a bold step toward protecting a hard-earned joy. The 32-year-old’s journey from loss to life deserves its day, even if it means sidelining a sister whose actions have stung for years. Beth’s behavior might hint at her own insecurities, but that’s her path to navigate. How would you handle a sibling stealing your spotlight? Drop your thoughts below and let’s keep the conversation alive!

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