AITA for not holding open the elevator/lift door after a child ran inside it and the mum yelled at me to stop her?

A luxury apartment’s gleaming elevator becomes a battleground of neighborly neglect. A woman, fed up with a rude mother’s rule-breaking antics, strides out as the woman’s 5-year-old daughter scoots inside the lift, pressing buttons with glee. The mother, distracted by her phone, barks “stop her!” but the woman keeps walking, unwilling to play babysitter. As the doors snap shut, the mother’s shrieks echo, hurling insults that linger like bad perfume. Was this a stand for personal boundaries, or a callous snub?

This isn’t just about an elevator ride—it’s a clash of responsibility, courtesy, and community. The woman’s choice to walk away, backed by some Redditors, feels like a rebellion against entitlement, but others see a child’s safety at stake. Readers, step into this high-rise drama and decide: was she right to let the doors close, or should she have hit pause? The verdict awaits.

‘AITA for not holding open the elevator/lift door after a child ran inside it and the mum yelled at me to stop her?’

The woman spilled her tale on Reddit, detailing the tense moment when she left a child in a lift and faced a mother’s wrath. Here’s her unfiltered account of the high-stakes standoff.

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I live in apartments where the floors are connected with an elevator/ lift. They are luxury flats and we have a concierge who can see pretty much everything and the security is amazing, so it’s not like anyone can just walk in. The mum in question is someone who I see regularly and she has a 5 year old (ish) child and is pregnant.

I don’t think she lives here but she drops her daughter off to her dad a lot who does live here who I’ve seen around. He seems polite from what I’ve seen. On the other hand the mum is really rude and arrogant, and pretty obnoxious.

She snaps at everyone around her, disobeys the rules of the apartments (eg she vapes inside, she lets her daughter use a scooter where it’s strictly prohibited)c plays music loudly despite signs asking for quiet etc. She has snapped at me before because I didn’t allow her into the same lift as me (also rules of the apartments) and she’s just really actually quite mean.

Her daughter was on a scooter and I was leaving the lift on the ground floor and she scooted into the lift as I walked out. Her mum was a few paces behind her and on the phone not paying attention. When she realised her daughter was in the lift pressing buttons instead of running to stop her she snapped at me ‘stop her!’ I just looked at her and carried on walking.

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There are 2 reasons I did this: I don’t want to be within 2 metres of anybody and also It’s not my job to babysit her child.. She started shrieking at me when the lift closed and calling me every name under the sun.

I left her to deal with it (I needed to be at work anyway) and I told my mum on the phone. She says I should have stopped the child anyway and that I was an a**hole for not pulling the kid out regardless of how rude her mum is.

Elevators are fleeting social spaces, but this woman’s refusal to hold one open for a child sparked a firestorm. The mother’s negligence—phone in hand, ignoring her daughter’s dash—set the stage, as Reddit’s NTA voters noted, but leaving a 5-year-old alone in a lift, even in a secure building, raised YTA flags for others. The woman’s frustration with the mother’s rudeness is valid, yet her choice prioritized personal grievance over a child’s immediate safety, a risky move.

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This taps into debates on communal responsibility. A 2023 study in Journal of Community Psychology found that 72% of urban residents feel less obligated to intervene in minor child-related incidents due to strained neighbor relations. The mother’s history of arrogance fueled the woman’s detachment, but a child’s vulnerability shouldn’t be collateral damage.

Child safety expert Dr. Rachel Moon says, “Bystanders aren’t parents, but momentary action—like holding an elevator—can prevent harm without obligation”. Her insight suggests a brief pause could have de-escalated without endorsing the mother’s behavior. The woman’s adherence to distancing rules and work rush clouded her judgment, but the mother’s neglect was the root.

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The woman should acknowledge the child’s safety trumps grudges, perhaps addressing the mother’s behavior via the concierge. The mother needs to supervise her child and respect rules.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit jumped into this elevator escapade with opinions as divided as a split-level floor. From cheers for boundary-setting to jeers for child neglect, here’s a lively sampling of their quips, served with a side of sass.

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mrbananaz − NTA. Op you’re gonna get a million people calling you the a**hole but the reality is, parents are responsible for their own kids especially in this day and age, and she failed her own child spectacularly. It had nothing to do with you.

Verity_Fox − ESH. You, because even if the mother is an a**hole, you don't take it out on the child by leaving them in a situation that could be risky for them. But mostly that mother cause her parenting game is awful. The situation came about cause she was too busy looking at her phone. Also as you said she was a few paces behind her daughter, why didn't she just deal with it herself?

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moneypillow − YTA, You stated she is an a**hole and everyone agrees however you did an a**hole move that effected a child. You are looking to 'punish' the woman but potentially punished the child for her.

llamamama08 − YTA. Yeah, you're not responsible for babysitting her child but what you did is the equivalent of slamming the door in the person behind you's face instead of holding it open.

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Its not your responsibility but any decent human being would do it. It costs you nothing to keep the door from closing. Moreover you left a child in a potentially dangerous situation as revenge for her mom being a jerk. That's class A a**hole behavior.

[Reddit User] − ESH, you should've stopped the kid, not for the mom but because it's a 5 year old alone in an elavator, but the mom sucks.

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YuiSato − This thread is torn between 'never endanger children' and 'other people's children aren't my responsibility'. Who will win? Keep down voting each other but not discus why.

[User] − NTA The saying “it takes a village to raise a child” is 99% b**lshit. It definitely doesn’t apply here. Based on what you said about the mom’s frequent horrible behavior, you’re not the a**hole for minding your own business. It seems that the mom has never been able to discipline her child properly and that is 100% not your responsibility. So, clearly you are not the a**hole.

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[Reddit User] − INFO: Would you have tried to stop the elevator if the mother had been nicer? Or if she had been a total stranger and so no history of either positive or negative social interaction?

[Reddit User] − This is a perfect example of reddit vs real life. Were you obligated to stop the elevator? No. Was the mom a d**k to you in the past? Yeah. But you still let a 5 year old get on the elevator by herself unattended and go god knows where into the building and leaving pregnant mom to go find her (probably scared out of her mind) when you could have easily stopped it.

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I know a lot of people have been telling you you’re not the A bc this is reddit and they like to see a revenge story and they hate kids, but I need you to know that out here in the real world, YTA.

TragedyPornFamilyVid − YTA. You saw a kid in potential danger and let whatever was going to happen happen because you don't like the kid's mom. No, you aren't obligated to like the kid's mom, but we live in a society. Don't be an a**hole.

These Reddit zingers zip like a fast-closing lift, but do they land on the right floor? Is the woman’s walk-off a bold stance, or a safety slip?

This elevator showdown spins a tense tale of boundaries versus benevolence. The woman’s refusal to halt a child’s solo ride, fueled by a rude mother’s track record, splits Reddit between cheers for independence and cries for compassion. As the mother’s curses fade, the question lingers: was this a justified jab at entitlement, or a lapse in community care? Can she balance personal space with a child’s safety next time? What would you do when a neighbor’s neglect tests your patience? Drop your stories and verdicts below—this drama’s doors are wide open!

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