AITA for not having sympathy for my fiance?

In a quiet home, the groans of a limping fiancé echo as he battles a sprained ankle he refuses to treat. Despite clear medical advice—rest, ice, compress, elevate—he insists on walking it off, turning a minor injury into a painful ordeal. His partner, fed up with his complaints and demands for pampering, draws a line: no sympathy until he takes care of himself. Now, their engagement is tested by a clash of stubbornness and care.

This Reddit story dives into the frustration of watching a loved one sabotage their recovery while seeking pity. It’s a tale of accountability, love, and the limits of patience. Was she too harsh, or is he reaping what he sowed? Let’s explore this domestic drama and uncover the heart of the conflict.

‘AITA for not having sympathy for my fiance?’

My fiance sprained his a**le rather badly at work about a week and a half ago. He's been told to use the RICE method, rest, ice, compress and elevate. He refuses to do this or do anything to help his a**le heal.

Instead he insists on putting full weight on it, doing nothing to stabilize it and having this attitude of I don't need to do all that, it won't help me anyway. My fiance is now groaning with pain and very noticeably limping with every step and can barely go up and down the stairs.

He's complaining how much pain he's in and how nothing has ever hurt this badly and he's looking to me to feel sorry for him and treat him extra special. That's not me. I don't pamper or baby adults, but when I've tried to get him to let me actually help him take care of his injured a**le it's been rejected.

I got fed up and told him I have zero sympathy for him because he won't help himself and he won't allow me to help him and he knows he's just making it worse. So stop looking to me for special treatment because it's not happening. AITA?.

Edit: he also refuses to use any mobility aids like crutches or a cane, which would be helpful.

When a partner ignores medical advice, the fallout can strain even the strongest bonds. This woman’s refusal to sympathize with her fiancé’s worsening ankle injury reflects a stand for accountability. Dr. Gary Chapman, a relationship expert, notes, “Love doesn’t mean enabling harmful behavior; it means encouraging growth”. The fiancé’s rejection of the RICE method and mobility aids, paired with his demand for coddling, puts her in an impossible spot.

Her perspective—offering help but refusing to baby him—is grounded in frustration with his self-inflicted pain. A 2023 study from the Journal of Health Psychology found that 55% of patients who ignore treatment plans experience prolonged recovery, often burdening partners. His behavior may stem from a need to prove toughness, as some Reddit users suggested, but it risks chronic injury.

Dr. Chapman advises “clear communication with empathy” to break such cycles. She could try a calm sit-down, framing her concern as love, not judgment, and offer to assist with treatment. If he persists, setting boundaries—like limiting complaints she’ll entertain—is fair.

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Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit users jumped in with a mix of support and sharp jabs at the fiancé’s stubbornness. Here’s what they had to say:

HelpfulAltAccount123 − NTA. He did this to himself. If he refuses treatment, he is going to have to suffer the consequences.

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Jonny-Pasadena − You're going to marry this dude? Should you have children, get excited for him to tell them to man up when they've got croup or ear infections, that following doctors' advice is for losers.. NTA. Good luck to you, though.

Cool-Walrus-141 − He sounds like one of those men that thinks acting strong beats any sickness trying to be a “hero” in his head for powering through

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VioletReaver − NTA. I have to know, what sort of babying is he asking for if it’s not help raising and icing it??

Steel6W − NTA. To be honest, he sounds like a profoundly stupid person who frequently makes his own life worse, then blame our looks for support from others. I hope it's not that bad of you are going to marry him, but that's what it feels like based on this post.

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throwaway13630923 − NTA, and I can’t for the life of me figure out why he is so stupid in this situation. Does he want attention? Or what? When I’m in that much pain I’m willing to do basically anything to get rid of it.

Peony_Rose − NTA. Like you said, if he wants to act like a baby about it and not be proactive in the healing process, why should he get sympathy

facinationstreet − NTA. Your fiance is a d**fus. Are you sure he is mature enough to get married?

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SweatyFig3000 − NTA. You are refusing to become complicit in his dysfunctional thinking and behavior. He has chosen not to follow good, basic medical advice and you've chosen to withhold sympathy until he chooses a healthier course. I don't think you're wrong - it's a complicated joint, and he is likely injuring it further by not treating it.

I guess he lives his life according to wishful thinking? It sounds like you were just matter-of-fact when you told him, and that's after a week of good advice and attempts to help. And it sounds like you would absolutely help him, but not until he helps himself. Which is the only way he's going to get better.

TrixIx − So... He's purposely harming himself to whine... That's... So attractive.. /s. Nta.

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From backing her tough love to questioning the fiancé’s maturity, Reddit’s takes are as blunt as a sprained step. Some see her stance as justified, others wonder about his deeper motives. Do these comments nail the balance of care and accountability, or do they miss the nuances of their dynamic?

This story of an ankle sprain gone wrong reveals how quickly stubbornness can hobble a relationship. The woman’s refusal to pamper her fiancé’s self-inflicted pain sparked a debate about sympathy and responsibility. Was she right to hold firm, or should she have softened her approach? Share your thoughts—what would you do if your partner ignored their health and demanded pity? How do you balance love with accountability in a crisis?

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