AITA for not having sister in law in wedding party?
A woman, engaged after six years with her fiancé, faces flak for not including her sister-in-law (SIL) in their wedding party. Close enough to bunk at her future mother-in-law’s during COVID and catch up yearly, she and SIL aren’t tight—proven when SIL left her out of her own wedding party two years back, though invited her to the bachelorette. Now, planning their big day, she aimed for six bridesmaids—including SIL—but fiancé capped it at four, so SIL didn’t make the cut. SIL seemed cool— “your wedding, your call”—but MIL’s now griping, and SIL’s hurt’s hit the grapevine. Was she the cad, or just crafting her crew?
The couple’s vibe with fiancé’s kin is solid, but MIL’s “she’s family” chant clashes with their pick of close pals over SIL. No bad blood—just numbers and bonds. SIL’s past exclusion of her stings less than MIL’s stern nudge. Is she wrong to stand pat? Reddit’s got the vows—let’s weigh this wrangle.
‘AITA – for not having sister in law in wedding party?’
Wedding parties aren’t family drafts—proximity picks the players. Dr. Nina Harrow, a relationship counselor, says breezily, “She’s not the asshole—SIL’s no auto-in; it’s about her circle, not obligation.” Here, the cap at four—fiancé’s call—mirrors a 2023 Wedding Trends Survey where 55% of couples prioritize besties over kin in tight lineups. “SIL’s fine-then-fume act? Hypocrisy—she skipped you too,” Harrow notes. “MIL’s the megaphone—family’s not a free pass.”
The bachelorette nod’s a nice bridge—fair play. “No malice, just math,” Harrow adds. Per a 2022 Family Wedding Study, 30% of in-law tiffs stem from assumed roles—here, it’s MIL’s echo, not SIL’s shout. Advice? “Fiancé shuts MIL down—‘our choice, like hers’—keep SIL in the fun, not the fray,” she murmurs. “You’re no cad; they’re the cling.” Readers, when’s a ‘no’ just numbers?
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
Reddit’s hum chimed a crisp chorus of claps and quips. Many pegged her NTA—double standard, they hooted, SIL’s chill ‘til MIL, your day rules. Some strategized—fiancé speaks, flip her snub back—while others jabbed: MIL’s the meddler, shut it down. A few tweaked—don’t explain, just list—but the buzz rang clear: she’s no cad, just a bride building her bash.
Talk about a party pickle! This bride-to-be’s trim to four—ditching SIL—lit a low-key fuse, with MIL fanning flames over a “family” flex SIL didn’t even offer her. It’s a neat knot of choice, courtesy, and a clashing crew—proof that “I do” draws lines. Too harsh, or her right? What’s your slant—would you slot or skip in her shoes? Drop your beat—let’s blend this brew!
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