AITA for not going to my daughters wedding because I am recovering from a severe sprained a**le?

On a sun-drenched beach, waves crashed and vows were exchanged, but one key guest was missing: the bride’s father, sidelined by a throbbing ankle sprain. Just days after a hospital visit, he faced a wrenching choice—endure agonizing pain to attend his daughter’s wedding or stay home to avoid being a burden. His absence, though, unleashed a tidal wave of family anger, leaving him wondering if his pain was an excuse or a valid reason.

This story dives into the heart of family expectations clashing with physical limits. The father’s decision to miss the big day, backed only by his supportive son-in-law, stirs up raw emotions, making us question how far one should push through pain for love’s sake.

‘AITA for not going to my daughters wedding because I am recovering from a severe sprained a**le?’

I honestly feel like I am taking crazy pills here. My entire family is furious with me over this and I don't even know what to do. I sprained my a**le 10 days ago, only 5 days before my daughters wedding. It was really, really bad. Like so bad that just walking to the bathroom even with crutches is intensely painful and difficult.

I thought that maybe, possibly I would be better by my daughters wedding, but on the day before I realized there was just no way I would be able to go. I would be a burden on absolutely everyone and the chances of me falling down and making a disaster of myself were too high.. ​

I thought people would understand, after all my daughter saw me in the hospital and was super worried. Instead basically everyone is super pissed off at me. My ex wife was basically screaming at me over the phone, telling me to man up and get on my feet and go.

My sister was telling me that she sprained her a**le and was fine soon after (I remember that, it wasn't NEARLY as bad of a sprain). My daughter apparently was incredibly sad but said it was okay because she knew I was in pain, but then later on was apparently upset with me. My son just said he was very, very disappointed that I couldn't just handle the pain and go. I think I got like 15 calls and a bunch of texts saying I need to go.. ​

Oddly enough the only person who understood was my son in law, who texted me saying that he understood why I didn't go and hes sorry everyone was being mean to me. He got someone to record a bunch of videos of the wedding to send to me which was sweet.. ​

I can barely even walk on it. Like at all, even with crutches its incredibly unstable and REALLY painful. With the crutches I still have to lift the leg, which causes the a**le to go into extreme pain because its holding my foot in the air. I don't even know what I can possibly do to tell them how horrible this is for me, they all already know, they saw me in the hospital and it had only been 5 days since then.

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Its not like I could have gotten a wheelchair on such short notice, and even besides that the wedding was on a beach with stairs leading to it.. ​ I understand being upset I couldn't go, but it feels like everyone is specifically blaming me for this as if I have any control over this. They all think I should have just sucked up the pain and gone.

From what I can recall, neither my wife nor my son have ever had any kind of mobility injury like this. Its not the type of thing you can just suck up, its literally an impossibility for me to do most things.. ​. I am almost positive I am not the a**hole here, but seriously, am I the a**hole?

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Missing a daughter’s wedding is a gut-punch, but severe pain can anchor even the most devoted parent. Dr. Kevin Ladin, a pain management specialist, notes, “Severe sprains can be as debilitating as fractures, often requiring weeks of rest” (American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons). The OP’s intense pain and mobility issues, especially on a beach with stairs, made attendance a risky proposition.

The family’s anger, while emotionally charged, overlooks the OP’s physical reality. A 2023 study by the National Institutes of Health shows 20% of severe sprains cause prolonged disability, and rushing recovery risks re-injury (National Institutes of Health). The OP’s fear of falling or burdening others reflects practical concerns, not flakiness. However, his failure to explore options like wheelchairs or communicate earlier fueled the family’s frustration.

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This situation highlights broader issues of empathy in families facing physical limitations. Dr. Ladin suggests proactive planning, like renting a wheelchair, could bridge such gaps. The OP should apologize for poor communication, explain his pain’s severity, and plan a special moment with his daughter to reconnect, like watching the wedding videos together. This fosters understanding while validating his struggle.

Check out how the community responded:

The Reddit crew dove in with a vengeance, tossing out judgments like confetti at a beach wedding. Here’s the unfiltered scoop, brimming with heat and heart:

Alex-Murphy − YTA. You know chairs exist?. Oddly enough the only person who understood was my son in law Yeah, you mean the kid who's marrying your daughter didn't want to make permanent waves and go against his father-in-law on the day of the wedding? Edit: people are saying 'wheelchair' a lot, which is a great idea, but I just meant a literal chair. He has to sit once for the wedding and again for the reception, so he has to move barely 3 times all night.

cussbunny − YTA. It’s a *sprained a**le* it’s not even broken, and it’s your *daughter’s wedding*. Jesus. You can suck it up, hobble on crutches, stay seated as much as possible, and leave early. Edit: to the few dozen people in my mentions explaining how much I’m underestimating a sprain, how painful it can be, how it can hurt more than a break - I’ve heard you. I didn’t know and I was a bit flippant, and that’s on me.

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I’m sticking with my verdict though, because he didn’t even *try.* He just decided he would be too much of a burden and made no effort, did not attempt to come up with solutions, did not ask for help, nothing. If there’s ever a situation in which you do anything and everything you can to power through and make it work, it’s showing up at your daughter’s wedding.

[Reddit User] − YTA. Dude, there’s gotta be a way. You can find wheelchairs lots of places, and surely people are willing to help carry the father of the bride. This is a super important day for your daughter, and you failing to show up puts your future relationship at serious risk.

Chrysoptera − YTA. It's your daughter's wedding. Buy a wheelchair, crawl if you have to, get to your daughter's wedding. ETA: Where I live there are beach wheelchairs that you can rent from the lifeguard station. OP should've tried harder to get there.

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rishcast − YTA. hospital and it had only been 5 days since then. Its not like I could have gotten a wheelchair on such short notice I'm sorry, are you trying to tell me that you had 5 whole days and there was *no where* you could have rented a wheelchair from. You were at the hospital and couldn't have asked the trained medical professionals where you could get one from for a day?

I thought that maybe, possibly I would be better by my daughters wedding, but on the day before I realized there was just no way I would be able to go. I would be a burden on absolutely everyone and the chances of me falling down and making a disaster of myself were too high.

Let me blunt. This was nothing to do with a lack of wheelchairs. This was purely bad planning and flakiness on your part. **Maybe** I'll be better for my daughter's wedding - but the logical thought process is also 'what if I'm not?' How do I get there then?

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I don't ever think that brides should be given a pass when they're all 'me me me' on their wedding days, but this wasn't that. This was *you* deciding to make it all about yourself. If you had cared even an iota about your daughter, you'd have made those arrangements just in case you weren't fine on the day of.

You say you were afraid of being a burden. Here's what you do - *ask* your child if that's the case and if someone - or someones - can help you. You said you were afraid of falling because you'd 'make a disaster of yourself,' not because you'd re-injure yourself or ruin the wedding - so it's all about your appearances, nothing else.

Well, don't worry on the second point, because I doubt too many people think kindly of not only your decision not to attend your daughter's wedding, but also to flake at the last moment. My daughter apparently was incredibly sad but said it was okay because she knew I was in pain, but then later on was apparently upset with me

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That happens. In the moment, she's sad. Then she thinks about it and how little you'd bothered to plan for what is, till now, the biggest day of her life, and she gets justifiably upset.. I think I got like 15 calls and a bunch of texts saying I need to go.

So people were still asking you to show up - late - after you flaked? And you still didn't try and figure something out, even if it's asking your son to come home and help? Yeah, YTA.. which causes the a**le to go into extreme pain because its holding my foot in the air. .. even with crutches its incredibly unstable and REALLY painful

I'm sorry, did I miss the part where painkillers stopped being a thing that, you know, exist and can be used in our lives? Man, IDK how long it'll take you to get out of the hole you've dug with your family, or if you can even do it. But if you can, be prepared for it to take a while.

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KimJongFunk − YTA. It's your daughter's wedding and you can get a wheelchair for the day. You aren't bedridden right now and it sounds like you didn't even try to ask for a wheelchair, you just assumed you couldn't get one. I'm sure if you called the hospital and said 'I need a wheelchair for my daughter's wedding' they would do their best to get you one.

kpaddler − YTA. You were going to be in pain regardless of where you were, might as well be in pain at the wedding.

baseball_dad − YTA. 'Sorry Sweetheart. You and your big day are not worth the minor discomfort that a10-day old **sprained** a**le would cause me.'

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[Reddit User] − YTA I just had major foot surgery (non weight bearing for a month/just started walking again), am a single parent, and still found a way to go to the pool, go to a 4th of July party and still otherwise live life. I bought a knee walker on facebook marketplace for $40 and crutches at goodwill for $3. If I can make things work, so can you.. What a baby.

JesusWasALibertarian − YTA. For sure. In what world would you not be!?

Redditors largely called out the OP for not trying harder, though some softened after learning about sprain severity. Their fiery takes spark a debate: was this a cop-out or a painful necessity?

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This tale of a father missing his daughter’s wedding over a crippling sprain reveals the tough line between physical limits and family duty. The OP’s absence, though driven by pain, left his daughter heartbroken and his family fuming, raising questions about empathy and effort. How would you balance unbearable pain with a loved one’s big day? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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