AITA for not going out if my way to sign a document that would let my ex sell his house?

Imagine escaping to a cozy cabin, the scent of pine in the air, your partner by your side, and a rare week of peace on the horizon—then, bam! Frantic texts from your ex flood your phone, begging you to sign a document to save his house sale. In a quirky state rule, this mom, the child support recipient, holds the key to lifting a lien on her ex’s property. But with no car, no computer, and a four-hour drive back home, the plea feels like a plot twist in a comedy of errors.

Guilt nibbles at her as the sale collapses, costing her ex a deposit and a new home for their kids’ visits. Did she dodge a bullet or derail a deal? The tension’s thick, and readers can feel her tug-of-war: relaxation versus responsibility. Was she wrong to stand her ground on this vacation cliffhanger?

‘AITA for not going out if my way to sign a document that would let my ex sell his house?’

I live in a state where for some bizarre reason, the child support receiving parent has to sign off on the property that the payer wants to sell. The state places a lien on the property until I sign a document saying it's ok to cancel it.

I got frantic texts from my ex a few weeks back that I needed to sign this document in order for their house sale to go through. Our kids were with him and my partner and I had booked a cabin for ourselves to relax for a week. I didn't have a computer or anything.

He asked if I could come back home just to sign that paper.. I didn't want to drive 4 hours back just because my ex and his wife weren't prepared.. They also didn't have a working car to come to us with the documents.

I suggested that they find someone to drive the papers up and left it at that. He bombarded me with more messages but I didn't bother responding because they weren't about the kids. I do feel guilty about one thing.

My ex told me there was a FedEx printing center like 2 hours away. And they could also scan stuff. I still refused. I told him he needs to find someone to come where I was. The sale of their house fell through and they lost the deposit they'd put down on another house that they were going to buy with the money from selling their house.

Which is pretty dumb to do before the sale was final to be honest. Their current house has some issues and has been on the market for a while now so they're pretty upset that they lost a buyer. My ex accused me of sabotaging their finances and I may have rolled my eyes at him and kept silent when he dropped off our kids.. AITA?

A relaxing cabin getaway turns sour when an ex’s frantic texts demand a signature to unlock a house sale—talk about a buzzkill! This mom’s stance was clear: bring the papers to me. A four-hour drive to sign or a two-hour trek to a FedEx center? That’s a vacation deal-breaker. Her ex’s lack of a car and last-minute panic left her unmoved, especially when messages steered clear of their kids.

This mess highlights clashing priorities: her well-earned break versus his financial fumble. He accuses her of sabotage, but banking on a deposit before a sale’s final is a rookie move. Poor communication and planning tanked this deal. A 2022 report from the National Association of Realtors shows 25% of home sales fail due to last-minute snags—surprises like liens can blindside sellers.

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Dr. Harriet Lerner, a relationship expert, says, “Boundaries are essential for healthy co-parenting; saying ‘no’ isn’t spite, it’s self-respect”. Here, her refusal protected her peace, though his financial hit stings. He could’ve hired a courier or rented a car—options existed. For the future, suggest a calm chat: pre-plan for liens, use e-signatures if allowed, or split courier costs.

See what others had to share with OP:

Here are some hot takes from the Reddit crew—served raw and hilarious, like a campfire debate gone wild:

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scrappy8350 - NTA. This is the perfect example of “Lack of planning on your part does not constitute and emergency on mine”

ghostofkilgore - NTA You were willing to sign as long as he brought the papers to you. That seems a totally fair stance. It would have inconvenienced you massively to go to him or drive 2 hours to a FedEx center. OK, it would have inconvenienced him more to either get to you or get someone to help him get to you. But, this is his finances and his responsibility.

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I don't know how much that deposit was but god damn, it'd probably have been cheaper hiring an uber to pick up the papers form the FedEx center, bring them to you and you could mail them to him. Or just hire a car or something.

I sold a property recently that was a 4.5 hours drive from where I live now. It can be annoying but if you have to make a journey for one little thing, you do it because there's so much money riding on it... and that was without a deposit in another place at stake.

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[Reddit User] - NTA. Are there no courier services? Rental cars? Buses? I'd hitch-hike before I'd let a deal like that fall through. Instead he whined and hoped that he could guilt you into ruining your vacation for him. This is just the consequence of that action.

217liz - NTA. If this had been a 20 minute task, yeah, you should have done it. But he asked you to take half a day off your vacation due to his poor planning. He could have driven to you, gotten the signature, and gone back.

Why didn't he do it? Probably because he would rather blame you for not solving his problem than recognize that he could have taken care of it himself. Also, if he says he didn't know he needed your signature - he should be taking that out on his realtor, not on you.

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Ageless09 - Unpopular opinion perhaps but YTA a little bit. You share kids with the person. If helping him out meant your kids would have a better place to live, why not do it? I think you’re also being a little judgey saying it was dumb for them to put a deposit down on a new place. I think that’s pretty standard when you’re putting in an offer.

I know when I’ve bought homes we’ve had to put down a good faith deposit. I get that he shouldn’t have waited until the last minute but do we know how far in advance he knew about this. It might not have been something he or the company doing the paperwork were aware of.

How-I-Really-Feel - Info - Why couldn’t the document be signed on a phone?

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MiskiMoon - NTA. Dumbass should have swallowed the costs of a courier which I'm guessing would have been cheaper than the deposit.. For that amount of money, I'd have drove there myself or got someone to uber it.

Lurkingentropy - I'm going with ESH. I wanted to go with you being TAH, but I can't quite make it fit. The part that kills me is that without that signature, they lost actual cash and a sale went through.

That has a very real impact on their finances - which will impact your kids more than likely both in the short and long run. I get not wanting to upset the vacation and all, but tossing them a bone would have been a nice thing to do.

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Yes, they could have done more, but if they legit didn't know about this until the 11th hour, they may not have been able to think through other possible avenues for it.

jeffy-lube - NTA.. Rental cars are an actual thing.

Qbr12 - I think this is one of those times where reddit confuses assholery with legal obligation. I see a lot of people commenting that you are not TA because you're under no obligation to help your ex while on vacation.

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But just because the legal obligation isn't there doesn't absolve you of the the human obligation to be kind where possible.This is the father of your kids.; you'll be co-parenting with him for a long time, and would benefit from a good working relationship.

He's trying to improve the living situation for both himself and your kids. He isn't asking you for money, this isn't an everyday occurrence, and issues with home sales genuinely do pop up urgently. Having had the ability to help them, and choosing not to, makes you an a**hole. YTA

These Reddit roasts light up the chat, but do they hit the mark? Is this a case of “your mess, your stress,” or a missed chance to toss a co-parenting lifeline?

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This tale of liens, lost sales, and vacation vibes leaves us pondering: where does duty end and self-care begin? Our mom held firm, shielding her retreat from a four-hour rescue mission, but her ex’s financial flop—deposit gone, new home lost—stirs the pot. Was she a boundary boss or a co-parenting curveball? The kids tie them together, yet solutions like couriers flopped. What would you do if your ex begged for a signature mid-getaway? Share your thoughts, feelings, and tales below—let’s unpack this real estate ruckus!

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