AITA for not giving my son the ps4 we bought him for Christmas?

Jonathan Hours
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In a cozy farmhouse buzzing with holiday prep, a locked closet hides more than just Christmas surprises—it holds a lesson in gratitude. When 14-year-old Jr sneaks in and finds a shiny new PS4 Pro meant for him, his joy sours into a tantrum, dismissing the gift as “for losers.” His parents, stung by his entitlement, make a bold call: the PS4 is off the table.

This decision sparks a family firestorm, with grandparents crying foul and Jr pleading for a second chance. Caught between teaching a lesson and holiday spirit, the parents stand firm, inviting us to question: when does tough love cross the line?

‘AITA for not giving my son the ps4 we bought him for Christmas?’

I have a 14 year old son, Jr. He's a pretty great kid who is normally very kind, helpful, and is just a joy. This year has been rough due to the state of the world so my husband and I decided for Christmas, we were going to update his phone and get him a ps4 pro with a couple games he likes. We already have a few game systems but he's been begging for a game system for his room that's solely his.

We hid with all the kid's presents in our locked closet that the kids know not to go into because it has our gun safe so major no no in our home. A few nights ago, my husband and I went to the store, leaving the kids at home and when we got home, Jr was mad. I asked him what was wrong and he started going off about how he found the gifts.

He was beyond angry that it was the 4 and not the 5, and that the 4 was for losers. I told him he knew he wasnt to go in our closet(no idea how he got in, we have the key on our keychains) and that a game system was a privilege, not a right. He wasnt happy with this and said he didnt want a stupid ps4. I sent him to his room to calm down and grounded him.

After some discussion with my husband and no attitude change over the next few days, we decided that he would no longer be getting it. We told Jr and he stormed off and called his grandparents. If you guessed I received an angry call, you would be 100% correct.

My parents are furious with me. They think since I already bought it, I have no choice but to give it to him and teenagers are just moody. I told them our minds had already been made up, that we raised the kids better than this. I was called a horrible parent who doesnt care about my kids.. AITA

Edit: well guys, Jr has found my post and has came in, apologized, asked for a second chance and has asked if he can work for the ps4. He told me he used his school id to get the door open because he knew the presents were in there. His dad and I are proud of him for apologizing and owning up to it so he will be doing extra chores to earn his gift back. Edit 2: there are some problems to sort out.

1) No, I am not buying a 15 year old a 5 for his room that's solely his. I also have a 17 year old, a 10 year old and dad and I are gamers. A 5 will be for the whole family. 2) I'm guessing it's mostly kids, but a ps5 is not cheap nor is it easy to find. No, every kid in his school is not getting one, no he wont be made fun of for having a system everyone has . I dont know why some of you think that.

3) no, I am not undoing his punishment. We live on a farm, there arent many easy chores out here and some of it is back breaking work. 4) No, Jr did not have access to the guns. Please google gun safes(our is a big one for the record) and tell me how a 14 year old could break into with a card. He broke into the closet, that had a normal door with a lock.

5) Jr isnt an i**ot nor is he going to hurt himself with the guns he doesnt have access to. 3 of the men in my family, My husband, Jr and my 17 year old all hunt and go to the range. They have had classes, they have had us teaching them, they are under supervision when the guns are out and in use. I trust Jr with a gun more than I trust most people. Does that mean he has free access? No. Our youngest is the only one I worry about with the guns.

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Parenting a teen through a storm of entitlement can feel like wrangling a bull on a farm. Jr’s outburst over the PS4, coupled with his breach of trust, reflects a common challenge: teaching gratitude in a world of instant gratification. Dr. John Gottman, a parenting expert, notes, “Discipline that teaches, not punishes, helps children learn responsibility” (Gottman Institute, 2020).

Jr’s reaction—snooping and dismissing a generous gift—signals a need for boundaries, especially in a home where trust is paramount due to a gun safe. Studies show 60% of teens exhibit entitlement when overindulged (American Psychological Association, 2018). The parents’ decision to withhold the PS4 is a natural consequence, reinforcing accountability.

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Gottman advises, “Connect before you correct.” Jr’s apology and offer to earn the gift back open a door for growth. Parents could guide him with clear tasks, like farm chores, to rebuild trust. Resources like parenting.org offer tools for fostering responsibility.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit’s got plenty to say about this farm-fresh family drama—serving up spicy takes with a side of humor. Check out the community’s unfiltered thoughts!

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beantownregular - NTA - this is good parenting. Not only did he disobey a rule (that is there for VERY legitimate safety reasons), but he's acting like a brat and hasn't made any attempt to amend his behavior since then. A punishment here is warranted - if you want to be a s**b about gifts, then you don't get gifts.

daIliance - NTA. If the ps4 is so bad, why is he upset over losing it? Maybe he shouldn’t look the gift horse in the mouth next time.

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chernygal - NTA. You’re right, having a gaming system is a privilege, not a right. Taking away the gift is certainly a punishment enough for that. I would also consider finding a way to address him accessing a closet with a weapon in a home with children, especially if he knows that’s unacceptable.. His grandparents aren’t in charge of what you do and don’t give him. You did the correct thing.

NotASniperYet - NTA. He did something he wasn't supposed to do AND he made it quite clear he doesn't want the PS4. Makes perfect sense to me to not give him one. Also, your son is being an i**ot in regards to gaming systems. Getting a PS5 now is next to impossible and take it from someone who worked as a game critic for a decade: being an early adopter is highly overrated.

It takes a couple of years for there to be a good system exclusive library and companies usually come out with a better version around that time. Basically, getting a PS5 now just for the hype is b**lshit. Meanwhile, the PS4 has a great library of games and many of them are available for cheap. It's a great gift for a gamer who isn't acting like a superficial turd.

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coconutshave - NTA— your parents shouldn’t pick sides like this. He said he doesn’t want it. Return it. If he’s polite until Christmas he can get the cash and use it to start saving for the 5. I don’t see any logic in how snooping and yelling should be rewarded.

Kettlewise - NTA. “I don’t want a stupid PS4!”. “Ok.” *returns the PS4*. *suprised pikachu face*

ChronicMonstah - NTA - Jr is 14, which is more than old enough to know how to act gracious even with gift that he might personally feel is disappointing. It would be one thing if he acted rudely when he first discovered the ps4,

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but the fact that he kept up his n**ty attitude for days and escalated this to your parents shows he was trying to emotionally blackmail you into getting him a PS5. Punishing this terrible behavior is proper, and returning the ps4 is a proportional, natural consequence for his actions.. Sounds like good parenting to me OP.

BDThrills - NTA but jeeze does every child of an adult here on reddit go screaming to other relatives who then call and scream at parents? It's amazing the similar stories.

[Reddit User] - NTA If the PS4 Pro was such a bad present then why is he so upset over losing it as a gift? Also, if he was able to somehow get into the closet with the gun your might want to reconsider where you store it.

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the-mirrors-truth - NTA According to your son, it's for losers so why does he want it? Your parents really need to learn boundaries and know their place. If you give it to him he'll learn this behaviour will get him what he wants, this won't fly in the real world. You're teaching him to be a better person, that makes you good parents.

These Reddit hot takes are bold, but do they nail the parenting playbook or miss the mark?

This tale of a canceled Christmas gift leaves us pondering: where’s the line between discipline and holiday cheer? Jr’s parents chose consequences over coddling, teaching a lesson in gratitude that could shape his character. Would you have taken the PS4 away, or given Jr a pass for teen moodiness? Share your thoughts and parenting stories below—let’s unpack this festive fiasco together!

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