AITA for not giving my son as much of a punishment as my SIL wanted?

In the glow of a Zoom call, a 4-year-old’s giggle over the word “poop” steals the show, turning a family chat into a parenting showdown. For one Reddit dad, his son’s chuckle at an awkward labor story shared by his brother is just toddler mischief, quickly resolved with an apology. But his sister-in-law’s demand for harsher discipline leaves him stunned, her frown as sharp as the call’s abrupt end.

This Reddit tale, posted on the AITA forum, captures the chaos of parenting a preschooler under family scrutiny. The dad’s choice to shrug off the laughter as age-appropriate ignites a clash of expectations, pulling readers into a relatable debate about kids, humor, and boundaries. With a mix of warmth and wit, the story unfolds as a snapshot of family life’s messy, laugh-out-loud moments.

‘AITA for not giving my son as much of a punishment as my SIL wanted?’

My(27m) son is (4m) my wife is (26f). My brother(24m) and SIL (25f) recently had their first kid (around 2 months ago). And we saw a picture of our nephew through text. So my brother mentioned how SIL pooped during labor during a zoom meeting and my son was drowning out most of the conversation out but when he heard “poop” he started laughing.

I just made him apologize and let him go back to his business. SIL asked why I didn’t punish him and I said he’s 4 he’s going to find the word poop funny. She said he should learn that these things aren’t acceptable and I repeated that he was 4. She said she didn’t want to talk so my brother cut the call. So now I think I may be an a**hole for not giving my son some kind of punishment so AITA?

Parenting a toddler can feel like refereeing a comedy show with no script. This dad’s 4-year-old laughing at “poop” is classic preschooler behavior, yet his sister-in-law’s push for punishment highlights a clash in parenting styles. His choice to prioritize an apology over discipline keeps the focus on understanding, not shame.

Child psychologist Dr. Tovah Klein notes, “Young children laugh at bodily functions—it’s how they process the world” . For this dad, a simple apology aligns with teaching respect without stifling his son’s natural curiosity. Over-punishing risks confusing a child about normal emotions.

The sister-in-law’s reaction may stem from her own embarrassment, amplified by new motherhood. A 2021 study shows 74% of parents face judgment over discipline choices . Her expectations reflect a rookie parent’s idealism, often clashing with the reality of toddler antics.

This scenario underscores broader debates about discipline versus empathy. The American Academy of Pediatrics advocates for age-appropriate guidance over harsh punishment . For this family, open dialogue about boundaries and humor can bridge the gap, fostering mutual respect without squashing a child’s joy.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit users rallied behind the dad, agreeing that a 4-year-old laughing at “poop” is normal and harmless. They saw his apology-first approach as fair, emphasizing that toddlers thrive on understanding, not punishment, for age-appropriate behavior.

Many felt the sister-in-law’s demand for discipline was an overreach, likely tied to her own discomfort as a new mom. The community’s consensus was clear: kids will be kids, and adults should focus on modeling empathy rather than enforcing strict control.

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Usrname52 − NTA. Although I'm wondering big this is projecting on her husband for telling everyone she 'pooped' during labor.

lkvwfurry − NTA - your SIL will have a VERY different world view in 4 years. She needs to let it go.

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Pistalrose − NTA. What reaction was she expecting when sharing her poop during labor story? Reverence?. He’s four. Poop is funny.

Consistent-Leopard71 − NTA. Your SIL should be upset with her grown ass husband for deciding it was ok to share that she shat herself during childbirth. She has higher expectations of a 4 year old than of her own husband.

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bamf1701 − NTA. You are 100% correct - the word poop is the height of comedy to a 4 year old. Also, why punish a kid for something that really didn't hurt anyone? It's not like he kept interrupting when you asked him to stop and apologize. Punishing your child for that, especially since he stopped when asked, would have been a huge overreaction.

Dangerfyeld − NTA. Get her to tell you exactly what the infraction was and why she thinks she's deserving of an apology. I'd be fascinated why a grown woman wants an apology from a 4y/o for laughing at the word poop.

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Caztbh − NTA He's 4. They are being as ridiculous as you think they are, don't question yourself on this one, you're right

RoyallyOakie − NTA...I think many adults still smirk when they hear the word 'poop.' Your SIL is going to learn the realties of children soon enough. Save this incident for a future apology.

Ella-wese − Your SIL has got a steep learning curve coming up with regards to parenting and it's not going to end at the word poop! It's going to extend through to finding her kid routing through her bag and stuffing her tampon up it's nose, asking embarrassing questions loudly in public bathrooms and changing rooms and then there's s** education!

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I start the lesson with TEENAGERS and simply say 's**' and they literally snort with laughter and I have to keep repeating it and repeating it until it's no longer funny, then I have to repeat the process with penis

vagina and sperm - seriously we can be 3 weeks in before we get close to ejaculation without constant sniggering! She'll learn - probably the hard way but it's up to her whether she decides to do it with a sense of humour or not!

SoundOfUnder − NTA I really don't know why they think this is punishable

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This dad’s stand against punishing his son’s poop giggle highlights the delicate dance of parenting under family scrutiny. His story, resolved with a simple apology, celebrates the humor and chaos of raising a toddler. It reminds us that kids learn through laughter and guidance, not shame. Share your thoughts or experiences in the comments—how do you handle toddler antics in family settings?

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