AITA for not giving my sibling a ride after she refused to baby sit?

The phone buzzed with a daycare’s urgent call, shattering a single mom’s focus during a life-changing work training session. Her five-year-old, Jack, was feverish, needing her—over an hour and a half away. With no babysitter, no ex in the picture, and her mom unreachable, she turned to her sister, Sherrie, hoping family would step up. But Sherrie’s stinging refusal—“I’m not your babysitter”—cut deep, leaving the mom tearfully racing home, her heart heavy with betrayal.

Weeks later, Sherrie’s car broke down, and her casual plea for a ride stirred those raw wounds. The mom’s sharp retort, echoing Sherrie’s own words, flipped the script, sparking a family firestorm. Was her clapback a justified jab or a petty overreach? Let’s dive into this tale of sisterly spats, emergency pleas, and the unspoken rules of family favors.

‘AITA for not giving my sibling a ride after she refused to baby sit?’

A desperate call for help and a sister’s cold shoulder set the stage for a family showdown. Here’s the mom’s story, straight from Reddit:

My sister (33F) 'Sherrie' and I (31F) had a great relationship. Nothing to fight about really, we are different people but get along fine. I have 1 child (5M) 'Jack'. My child's father isn't local not in the picture.

I got a call from my child's daycare that Jack was unwell and I gave permission for 'emergency pain relief' (kids pain k**ler to bring his fever down) but he will still need to be brought home asap and they gave me the covid policy speech. I explained I was over an hour and a half away but will organise pick up asap.

I was over an hour and a half away due to new work training. It's a huge opportunity for me and Jack and could change our lives of this job probation works out. I rang my go to baby sitter but she was actually unwell herself and apologised as she could have been the one that made Jack sick.

My ex MIL is elderly so not a help and I rang my mum, she didn't answer 3 times. I rang my sister and she said no, I explained Jacks car seat is at the daycare if that was the problem and I'd be home in under 2.5hrs and I'll pay her. She then went on a rant I have never heard, ever, she started saying she is child free by choice and she's not my baby sitter.

I was taken off guard and said I have literally never asked her to baby sit before and was just asking this one time to help as she's my sister and no one can help me & this training finishes soon and I'll be home asap. She then said 'I'm not obliged to help you or baby sit because I'm family'.

My blood ran so hot and I got teary eyes and just said ok and hung up. I left training early and cried the entire way back. I haven't called or messaged Sherrie in 4weeks (not unusual, we don't talk every day)and yesterday she facebooked me that she needs a car ride as hers just broke down.

I ignored her message because all those feelings came back to me and I wanted to cry. An hour goes by and she calls my phone and says ' 'Hey Op, can you pick me up from -' and I just cut her off and said 'No I'm not obliged to help you or give you car ride just because we are family' and I hung up. She called over and over and I ignored them.

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I read the messages she sent me and long story short she is saying I'm an a**hole and I should still help her because I'm her sister and this was an emergency. Mother had to drive to pick Sherrie up and mother hates driving. Sherrie didn't want to call an uber because she doesn't like them.. AITA?

A sick child and a broken car turned sisterly bonds into a battlefield. The mom, stretched thin by single parenthood and a high-stakes job opportunity, faced Sherrie’s refusal to help in a crisis, revealing a rift in their expectations of family duty. Sherrie’s child-free stance is valid, but her harsh delivery and later demand for a ride expose a one-sided view of support. The mom’s mirrored response, while petty, reflects hurt and a demand for reciprocity.

Family dynamics often hinge on mutual aid. A 2023 study from the Journal of Family Psychology found 72% of siblings expect reciprocal support in emergencies (Source). Sherrie’s refusal, though her right, strained this bond.

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Family therapist Dr. John Gottman says, “Healthy relationships thrive on mutual generosity, especially in crises” (Source). Sherrie’s rant ignored the mom’s desperation, while the mom’s retort escalated tension.

A calm conversation could rebuild trust—Sherrie could clarify her boundaries, and the mom could express her hurt. Both should agree on what “family” means in emergencies.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit didn’t hold back, dishing out spicy takes on this sisterly saga. From cheers for the mom’s comeback to shade on Sherrie’s hypocrisy, here’s the community’s pulse:

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RedditDK2 − NTA. She's right about not being obligated to help you. But here's the thing - when you refuse to help someone when they desperately need it then you really can't expect them to help you. Your sister decided that family doesn't mean you have to help someone in an emergency - and that is okay. But she is an a**hole for thinking that isn't a 2 way street.

Digital_Glitter − Funny how the withholding of favours only works in one direction in sister’s book. NTA. She’s an i**ot. Doesn’t like uber?? Lol. Precious.

AnarchyAcid − NTA. Sounds fair to me. You can either rely on people in an emergency or you can’t. Now you both know who not to call.

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Johoski − NTA. Reciprocating supportive acts is important to maintaining healthy relationships. You didn't have alternatives when you asked her for help. She actually had alternatives when she asked you for help.

calaakla − NTA b/c how was your emergency not an emergency but hers was? Rhetorical question as she is a h**ocrite.

ddalala − NTA, love your response. Hope you didn't lose out too badly on the training?

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[Reddit User] − NTA. If you really never asked her before to babysit or for other favours, your sister's reaction is very weird.

EwokCafe − NTA. I'm the childfree sister in my family, and while I am super uncomfortable being solo-responsible-adult with kids, I'd help in a heartbeat if this happened to my sister. She didn't have to help you, but she didn't have to be a jerk about it.. You were a bit petty in your response, but TBH I don't blame you.. Y'all need to sit down and have a good long talk.

[Reddit User] − NTA. She may not be obligated to watch your son, but she could have just said she couldn't do it. And while she has the right to say no, honestly, even though she's child free, she could have sucked it up for a few hours if there were no other reasons.

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It's one if those things you occassionally do just to maintain good relationships with loved ones. If she doesn't want to help you out, that's fine, but she can't turn around and say you need to help her out.

Fragrant-Head1278 − NTA. You had an emergency and your babysitter was sick. It is not like you were too stingy to pay a babysitter and let your sis do it for free. I can't imagine to have a sis like this. My sister would have picked up my son without another word.

Thats what a familymember would do. Especially if you have no other options left. And the sis is free. And she has the audacity to call you for a pick up ride? Is she insane? And she doesn't get your response??. Holy s**t, i feel bad for you to have her as a sister.. What happened to your training?
These Reddit hot takes are juicy, but do they nail the heart of this family feud? Is the mom’s petty revenge a win, or did both sisters miss the mark?

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This tale of a daycare crisis and a stranded sister spins a web of hurt feelings and sharp words. The mom’s echoed refusal was a zinger, but it left their bond frayed. Should she mend fences or let Sherrie stew? If your sibling bailed on you in a pinch, would you return the favor or rise above? Drop your thoughts and let’s unravel this family drama!

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