AITA for not giving my husband a bigger allowance?

Imagine waking up to a husband stomping around because his pocket money got slashed—again. For Emma, a hardworking wife and sole breadwinner, this was no bad dream but a morning reality. After promising her job-hopping husband a rare $150 treat, a surprise bill forced her to cut his allowance back to $40. His response? A full-blown tantrum, despite his minimal contributions at home. Emma’s left wondering if she’s the villain for tightening the purse strings.

Emma’s Reddit AITA post is a raw snapshot of financial strain and marital imbalance, spiced with a husband who acts more like a sulky teen than a partner. With bills piling up and Reddit rallying behind her, this drama begs the question: was Emma wrong to hold firm? Let’s unpack this money mess that’s got the internet buzzing.

‘AITA for not giving my husband a bigger allowance?’

My husband and I have been married almost 3 years. In that time he's worked a total of 6 months and has had more jobs than I have in my entire life. We've had a lot of financial rough patches with me being the sole earner.

ADVERTISEMENT

We've been behind on all of our bills and I thought this week was going to be the first time we were actually going to be caught up. So I told him I could probably give him more money than usual like $150 and we could maybe go out to eat. Well I was wrong. We have one more big bill.

This morning he left to go see a friend. He took the debit card and called to ask to take $80. I had the card turned off because we were overdrawn until I got paid. He came home when he realized this. He asked me to turn the card on so he could have $80. I was still in bed and I hadn't even checked the bank account.

So I said I'll bring you money when I get up. He asked how much. I told him probably $40. He threw a fit. He does do all the cooking. He complains I don't do enough housework so he does none of it. I do all the laundry. I do what housework is done after working full time.

Why I think I'm an ass hole: I did tell him he could probably have more this week. Instead he can only have his normal amount. Edit: He did not get any money today. I told him to stay at his friends. I took the dog with me to work in case he threw another tantrum. I have cameras so I'll know if he comes home.

ADVERTISEMENT

Emma’s allowance saga is a glaring case of marital inequity. As the sole earner, she’s juggling bills while her husband, barely contributing beyond cooking, demands more cash. His tantrum over $40 instead of $80 screams entitlement, not partnership. This isn’t just about money—it’s about respect and shared responsibility.

Psychologist Dr. Harriet Lerner, author of The Dance of Connection, says, “Healthy relationships require mutual effort, not one partner carrying the load” . His fit reflects a refusal to face their reality.

Emma should initiate a frank talk, per Dr. Lerner’s advice, using “I feel” statements like, “I feel overwhelmed managing finances alone.” She could propose he job-hunt or split chores evenly. If he resists, counseling may help—or signal it’s time to rethink the marriage. Emma’s not the villain; she’s the backbone holding it together.

ADVERTISEMENT

Heres what people had to say to OP:

The Reddit squad swooped in like budget hawks, serving up support and shade for Emma’s cash crunch. It’s a virtual roast where everyone’s got a quip and the tea’s scalding. Here’s the raw scoop:

mimiuniverse − NTA. He doesn't work. He doesn't clean. He throws temper tantrums when he can't just blow money on himself rather than showing an interest in making sure the household needs are met. He doesn't respect the work you put into your lives.. Are you aware that your life would be easier without him in it?

ADVERTISEMENT

slythercon − NTA. He needs a job. Period. You don’t make enough to comfortably live and he shouldn’t be getting any “allowance”. It should be savings.. Why do you stay married to him?. He sounds like a child, not a spouse.

Illustrious-Tour-247 − NTA, unless you keep enabling him. Can you spell D-E-A-D-B-E-A-T? Please don't have kids with this guy.

ADVERTISEMENT

Winter-Travel5749 − 19 days ago you said HE STOLE YOUR RING!. WAKE UP!!!

curious_seahorse1 − Let me get the right: Your husband is contributing NOTHING as he doesn't work, complains about doing chores, and then whinges about the money you can spare after you pick up all the bills?. OP, you don't have a husband, you have a teenage brat.. NTA but you need to consider why you're allowing this man to treat you this way.  Read this. I think you'll find it enlightening.

ADVERTISEMENT

castoidprocess − NTA. Why has he only worked six months, and why are you expected to do housework when all he does is cook? If he wants 80, he should work.

gaydisaster17 − NTA. You cannot afford that money and he should be able to understand that. Though, it does sound like some miscommunication. Also, if you are the sole earner, why is he only doing cooking and you the housework? Kind of sounds lazy...

ADVERTISEMENT

razagk − Nta,. You can't spend money you don't have. If you guys don't have enough money with one income, you should split up house chores and he should work as well.. But in the end you need to find a solution together and making responsable financial choice.

Obeissante − NTA. You already give him money but he still complain that it’s not enough while you’re the only income and keep the finance afloat?. What was the reason behind the 80$?

ADVERTISEMENT

DogsReadingBooks − Tell him he can use the money he got from [your ring.]

Redditors dubbed Emma a saint, torching her husband’s deadbeat vibes and urging her to reconsider the marriage. Some dug up dirt on his past (ring theft, anyone?). But do their spicy takes balance the books, or just fan the flames?

ADVERTISEMENT

Emma’s stand on the allowance is a masterclass in drawing lines when you’re stretched thin. Her husband’s meltdown over less cash exposes a deeper rift—one where effort and respect are overdrawn. This tale hits home for anyone carrying more than their share. What would you do if your partner threw a fit over a tighter budget? Share your thoughts and stories below!

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *