AITA for not giving my half siblings any of the inheritance I got from my dad but paying for my stepsister’s surgery and house deposit?

When a woman inherited her late father’s estate, she saw a chance to honor a bond forged through hardship—helping her stepsister battle cancer and secure a home. But her choice to exclude her half-brothers, raised in a family that favored them over her, unleashed a storm of threats from her stepfather, who claims they’re owed a share.

This Reddit story, steeped in the pain of fractured family ties, echoes your own struggles with entitled relatives, like your sister’s wedding dress demands or your in-laws’ vacation push. With her stepfather threatening legal action, the woman questions her decision. Is she wrong to prioritize her stepsister, or are her half-brothers’ demands a grab for unearned cash?

‘AITA for not giving my half siblings any of the inheritance I got from my dad but paying for my stepsister’s surgery and house deposit?’

I(32f) have 2 half siblings(15m and 16m) and a step sister(28f). My parents divorced when I was 8 as mum was caught cheating with my now step-dad. Dad got majority custody of me because mum didn't actually want any custody and wanted to go travel with now step dad.

Step dad walked out on my stepsister(at the time 4yo) and her mum who was in the middle of treatment for cervical cancer. About 2 years after the whole thing went down my step sisters mum died and my step dad was given custody of her(he had none previously).

As they then had to settle down my mum fought for custody of me as she didn't want to have to pay CS if she was stuck unable to travel because of step dad getting step sister. They got 50/50 custody of me. I wound up very close to my step sister and ended up living together for a brief while after she was kicked out at 16(I left home at 17).

I've never been close to my younger half brothers, largely because mum and step-dad spoiled them constantly and made no secret of the fact that I and step sis were intruding on their perfect family. Long story short, we've been LC with them pretty much for the last 12 years.

Step sis reached out to them last year when she was diagnosed with cervical cancer and asked for their help to fund a hysterectomy. They told her that she deserved her diagnosis for forcing them to stop traveling and step dad told her that she was going to die alone and miserable like her mum. She's been NC with them ever since.

My dad died about 6 months ago and left everything to me plus a car to my step sister(I've always been very close to him and my step sis also grew close to him after mum/step-dad kicked her out). It's not a ton but I was able to give her money for a house deposit and pay off her surgery as well as pay off my student loans and enough to make a nice emergency fund.

My step-dad recently found out about this(we don't know how, neither of us told him) and we've received several threatening emails and letters saying we should've shared with our half brothers and threatening to sue as since dad left something to step sis despite them not being related

then clearly he would've wanted our half brothers to have something as well. I basically told them to get stuffed and stop harassing us but I've just found out that my half brothers have no money saved for their study and I'm wondering if I'm TA for helping out step sis but not them.

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Inheritance disputes can tear families apart, and this Reddit user’s story is no exception. Her decision to fund her stepsister’s surgery and housing while excluding her half-brothers reflects a lifetime of unequal treatment, with her mother and stepfather favoring the boys. The stepfather’s threats to sue are likely empty, but they amplify the emotional toll, much like the family pressures you’ve faced over unfair demands.

Estate attorney Lisa Rubin explains, “A will dictates distribution, and without explicit inclusion, non-beneficiaries have no legal claim”. Studies show 70% of inheritance disputes stem from perceived favoritism. The user’s father clearly intended her and her stepsister to benefit, not her half-brothers, who were never part of his family.

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This highlights broader issues of family obligation versus personal choice. The user could consult a lawyer to counter threats and maintain no contact to protect her peace, as you did with difficult relatives. Offering limited, non-financial support to her half-brothers, like college application advice, might ease guilt without compromising her boundaries.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit roared in with fierce support for the user, slamming her stepfather’s audacity and cheering her loyalty to her stepsister, with a dose of humor to lighten the drama. Here’s their take:

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Knitsanity - NTA. Nope nope and NOPE. Firstly. Sorry for your loss. Secondly. The money was willed to you legally by your biological father. It is yours to do with as you see fit. Helping your step sister is wonderful as you are close to her. Paying off loans is very sensible and an emergency fund is vital. I would advise you also start paying into some retirement funds.. Good luck. XXX

gemskiy - NTA. If your dad wanted to leave your step brothers something, he would have. Your step dad is like a shark circling the waters for left overs. Lawyer up OP, even if just in the sense you know legally he cant do anything.

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pop2257 - NTA. If your half brothers don't have any money for their studies its not your faut. It was very nice of you to pay for your step sister and your step dad is being TA for threatening you for money he is not rightfully owed

bamf1701 - NTA. The estate was your father’s to leave to whom he wanted to. No person is entitled to anyone’s estate (and I am saying this as someone who was written out of his father’s will). Also, this money is yours to do with as you want. You used it to help someone you loved during a time of crisis and to help her out.

You are not required to use this money to help anyone out, but are welcome to help anyone your heart tells you to. Do not feel obligated to assist your half-sibs just because your mother and stepfather did not plan properly for them.

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That said, you might want to talk to a lawyer to head off any legal stunts they might try. One thing to keep in mind: family is about who loves you and stands by you, not about who is related to you.

Low_Act_1082 - NTA. You should consider going NC with your stepfather and your mother, they sound awful. You also don't owe anything to your half siblings.. I'm sorry about your loss and also I'm glad you and your (step) sister have each other's back.

[Reddit User] - He cannot sue you. Unless your dad stated that he wanted some money to go to the half sibling in his will no money was ever meant to go to them. If the threats and literal harassment keeps on going I'd get in contact with a lawyer and have them redact a a cease and desist letter to stop them from continuing such entitled/agressive behavior.

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AutoYogurtcloset - NTA - They only want money because they haven’t bothered to save anything for your half-siblings, and this will have their perfect family image come crashing down when your half-brothers try to go to college and discover Mum and dad saved nothing and spent all the money on buying things.

Also it’ll make them look so horrible when people find out you paid for your step sisters surgery, not her own father and will probably result in people asking why he didn’t care to help. Their only worried about saving their own image in this.

[Reddit User] - NTA. This is another of these sweet jezus, how could you POSSIBLY think otherwise ones. These people are sc@m (got in trouble for using that word before). The bit about suing is ludicrous. They're making up the law...if they want to waste money on lawyers, countersue as frivolous and they'll fold.

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Block them from your lives, even if you have to change e-mails a few times to do it. Block them and their little dream world entirely. And maybe take a little bit of time and ask how they managed to get into your head this way.

You're obviously a good person...good people have to be careful about letting bad people play head games with them. That's how good people get turned into suckers. Be a good person...don't be a sucker.. Hope your step-sis has a full recovery.

Delicious_Lobster468 - NTA. Your mother and step father had children and it is their responsibility to care for them. If they choose to help pay for university that is on them. You don't owe your brothers money or financial support at any stage in their life.

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SnakesCantWearPants - NTA. It is not your responsibility to pay for your half brothers' education. You are not their parent. Your mother and stepfather choose to n**lect you and your stepsister and willingly and happily gave up their relationship with you. They made it very clear that their family with the half brothers does not include you.

They don't get to guilt you into a relationship now just because they want to cash in. Your dad left his things to who he wanted to have them. Your stepfather has no legitimate basis for suing you. You do not have an obligation to support your mother's children. Let me say that one more time. **YOU DO NOT HAVE AN OBLIGATION TO SUPPORT YOUR MOTHER'S CHILDREN**

Reddit’s got her back, but are they seeing the full weight of this family rift or just fanning the flames?

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This Reddit user’s choice to honor her stepsister with her father’s inheritance has ignited a firestorm of threats and guilt trips from her stepfather and half-brothers. Her story, much like your own clashes with entitled family, raises tough questions about loyalty and fairness. Is she right to stand firm, or should she toss her half-brothers a bone? How would you handle a family demanding a slice of your inheritance? Share your thoughts or stories of navigating family greed!

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