AITA for not giving my food to my aunt?

The aroma of simmering spaghetti sauce fills a cozy living room, where a 17-year-old aspiring chef savors his carefully crafted meal. But the peace is short-lived as family dynamics stir up an unexpected conflict. This teen, known for his culinary passion, faces a dilemma when his aunt eyes his plate with unapologetic longing. What seems like a simple dinner spirals into a standoff over personal boundaries, leaving readers wondering: where’s the line between generosity and standing your ground?

With a forkful of meatballs at stake, this Reddit tale captures the tension of family expectations clashing with individual comfort. The young chef’s love for food isn’t just about taste—it’s about control over his own plate. As the story unfolds, it invites us to reflect on how far politeness should stretch when hunger (and a touch of audacity) comes knocking.

‘AITA for not giving my food to my aunt?’

I'm 17m. I really like cooking and I'm very good at it. I wish to become a professional chef when I grow up, and have already written a cookbook. Everybody in my family knows this about me, and on several occasions I have made (with help from my sister) meals for family gatherings. That said, I do not like sharing my food.

Once I take food onto my plate, I don't like anybody else eating from my plate. I love food and always make enough so that I will feel full. If other people are going to eat, I do make extra, however I enjoy taking a full plate's serving of my favourite dishes and like to finish it all. My parents know this and so does my sister.

Usually nobody else asks for me to share my food with them. Yesterday my mother and aunt went out for dinner and I was home alone. I made some crock pot spaghetti and meatballs and sat down to eat in front of the television. After 5 minutes my mom and aunt came back home. I asked them how dinner was and they said it was fine.

My aunt saw me eating spaghetti and told me how mouth watering my food is. I thanked her and continued to eat. She kept eyeing my plate as I was eating and I felt a little uncomfortable. My mom saw this and said 'hey why don't you give some to aunt meg'. I chuckled and said 'oh sorry there's none left, if I'd have known you wanted it I could have made more!'

My aunt said 'that's okay you can just give me half of yours!'. I was a little taken aback and looked at my mom, but she nodded at me urging me to give her my food. I said 'didn't you guys have dinner already?' She said 'yes but you know I can't control myself around your food haha'.

She even went to the kitchen and got a plate and fork for herself and was coming to where I was sitting to take food from me. I stood up and said 'hey I think I'm gonna go finish this in my room', went to my room and locked the door and finished my food. By the time I came out my aunt was gone and my mother was very mad at me for disrespecting her like that. Was I in the wrong here?

EDIT: Holy f**k lol, thanks for the upvotes. I just want to say that I'm not overweight, I'm 6 feet tall and weigh 63kgs so I'm definitely not overweight. And I cooked in a 1.5 quart and made just enough to feed myself. And also I'm still in school so I live with my parents and they buy the groceries.

You guys need to stop sending me messages about how I'm 'fat' and 'greedy'. I'm not fat and even if I was,it doesn't matter. I do not like that you all are body shaming me despite not even knowing what my body looks like, stop fat shaming my aunt too. Although she was acting greedy that does not mean you get to shame her. Please stop.

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Navigating family requests can feel like walking a tightrope over a pot of boiling pasta. In this case, the teen’s refusal to share his meal sparked a heated debate about respect and boundaries. According to Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, “Setting boundaries is a way of caring for yourself. It doesn’t make you selfish; it makes you healthy” . Here, the teen’s stance reflects a need to protect his personal space, especially since his aunt had already eaten.

The conflict highlights a broader issue: the expectation to prioritize family harmony over individual comfort. The aunt’s bold request for half the meal, despite having dined out, suggests an overstep rooted in entitlement. Meanwhile, the mother’s urging to share, knowing her son’s feelings, adds pressure to conform. A 2023 study from the Journal of Family Psychology found that 68% of young adults report tension when family members disregard personal boundaries . This dynamic isn’t just about food—it’s about asserting autonomy in a family setting.

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Dr. Gottman’s advice emphasizes clear communication. The teen could calmly explain his discomfort, perhaps saying, “I’d love to cook for you next time, but I’m not okay sharing my plate.” This approach maintains respect while holding firm. For readers facing similar situations, setting boundaries early—before the fork reaches the plate—can prevent escalation. The key is balancing kindness with self-respect, ensuring everyone leaves the table satisfied.

Ultimately, the teen’s retreat to his room was a valid, if abrupt, way to protect his meal and peace. Families thrive when mutual respect guides interactions, not guilt or obligation. Next time, a frank but friendly conversation could keep the sauce from spilling over.

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Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

The Reddit crew dished out their thoughts with the enthusiasm of a potluck crowd, serving up support with a side of humor. Here’s the unfiltered take from the online table:

Texasworld − NTA. JOEY DOESNT SHARE FOOD. Edit: wow my first gold! Thank you for the awards, kind redditors!

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CandylandCanada − NTA. She didn’t get the hints (plural). Your mother should not have offered \*your food\* to the piggy aunt. Maybe aunt “can’t control” herself around your food, but you can. I would ask mother exactly how not giving aunt food from your plate is disrespectful of aunt, but aunt literally taking food from your plate \*after she just finished a meal\* and so was clearly not as hungry as you is disrespectful.

TypicalManagement680 − NTA It’s rude to ask for someone’s food on their plate, and half at that. Your mom, I presume, knows how you are and she should have diverted her sister.

GrowlingAtTheWorld − Why would you give half your dinner away? Then you'd be still hungry afterwards. Nta

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darthcatlady − NTA, that's rude as heck

[Reddit User] − NTA who asks for food after a full meal? And your mom knows you don't like to share? Why can't she explain this instead of telling you that you need to share? While it would have made things easier to say 'I'm not comfortable sharing' in this case you owed them nothing and it's super rude to come up to someone and be like 'give me half' like good grief. Asking for a bite I could understand but half? Heck no.

Nebsy_Websy − NTA. Once its on someones plate its off limits. Acting entitled to someone elses dinner (after you’ve already eaten) is soooo rude. Your mother should have shut it down the moment she said something. You deserve to eat dinner. Aunt needs to learn some manners.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Good cook or not, she is not entitled to your food

Pnapple_Upsdwn_cake − NTA - No one is entitled to the food on your plate. The aunt is an adult, if she can't control herself around your food then she should work on that.

NunyBaboonyNotMua − NTA she just ate. TF.

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These Redditors rallied behind the teen, calling out the aunt’s audacity and the mom’s misstep. Some saw it as a classic case of entitlement, while others chuckled at the “Joey doesn’t share food” vibe. But do these spicy takes capture the full flavor of the situation, or are they just stirring the pot?

This tale of spaghetti and stubbornness reminds us that even small moments can cook up big family drama. The teen’s stand wasn’t just about a plate of pasta—it was about claiming his space in a world of unwritten family rules. While his aunt’s boldness and his mom’s nudge stirred tension, the story sparks a broader question about balancing generosity with personal comfort. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Share your thoughts and experiences—let’s keep the conversation simmering!

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