AITA for not giving my dad my piece of lamb at dinner?

The dinner table was set with love—golden lamb, flaky spanakopita, and creamy tzatziki sauce—but the warmth of the meal turned cold fast. A 24-year-old woman, savoring her mother’s cooking, planned to save a piece of lamb for a dreamy sandwich. But her father, with a fork jabbed into her plate and a glare that could curdle milk, demanded it. What followed was a chilling display of pouting, table-slamming, and a lamb-eating standoff outside her door.

The OP, still haunted by her father’s past yelling, felt small under his tantrum’s shadow. Her mother’s silence only deepened the tension, leaving the OP bewildered and retreating to her room. This wasn’t just about lamb—it was about control, fear, and a family dynamic teetering on the edge. Was she wrong to stand her ground over a piece of meat, or is her father’s behavior the real issue?

‘AITA for not giving my dad my piece of lamb at dinner?’

 

ADVERTISEMENT

My dad gets very territorial about food. Like ridiculously so. I (24f) wasn’t super hungry for dinner tonight, but my mom (56) made lamb, spanakopita and homemade tzatziki sauce. So I sat down and had a good amount, and decided to save the rest of my portion of lamb to make a super yummy sandwich for lunch tomorrow.

My dad (59) plowed through his plate (whole piece of lamb, four spanakopita, huge helping of couscous), and then half of my mom’s lamb. Then he reached over the table and jabbed his fork onto my plate, stabbing my remaining half piece of lamb and asked “are you going to eat that?”

One, ew. Don’t touch my food with your dirty fork. Two, rude. I nodded and said, “I’m going to make a lamb sandwich for lunch tomorrow, since I’m already full.” He glared at me so hard I shrunk in my seat. (He yelled at me a lot when I was a kid and I’m still working through that)

He released my lamb and pouted like an angry toddler for the rest of the meal. (My mom was still eating and I stayed for conversation) I tried to continue conversation with my mom but she went quiet on me too, and so I was very confused because it was just a piece of lamb? If he’s going to give me the silent treatment over it he can f**king have it like Jesus.

ADVERTISEMENT

So I told him if he really wanted it he could have it. I didn’t see what the big deal was. He slammed his hand down on the table, and mocked my voice, “I’m going to make a sandwhicccchhhhh! I think you just have the power to say no to me, so you did!”

I was bewildered, I’d wanted a lamb sandwich but it wasn’t like I was purposefully trying to steal food away from him? I mean I’d just relented and told him he could have it and he’s still throwing a tantrum? So I just excused myself from the table, and he blew up again, “there she goes! Off to her room! Because of a piece of lamb!”

You’re damn right I’m going to my room because I didn’t want to spend one more minute with that man. A few minutes later I heard a knock on my door that was distinctly my father’s. I didn’t want to open. So he started banging on it.

ADVERTISEMENT

I opened it, trying to keep myself calm and he just stood there, eating that piece of lamb? I asked him curtly what he wanted and he just stood there glaring at me while ripping into it? I shut the door on him because he was freaking me out.. Idk what the f**k just happened but AITA??

EDIT: I want to thank every single person who commented on this post. I hadn’t realized how not normal his behavior was. I’m going to go stay with my best friend a few states away, she was furious when I told her what happened. Thank you all

ADVERTISEMENT

EDIT 2: oh my god, I did not expect this much of a response. I’ve read all the messages I could, and most all of them were so kind and helpful, thank you so so much. I can’t respond to all of you, but I just want to say you all have been giving me hope where it was fading. Thank you.
A family dinner should be a haven, not a battlefield over a piece of lamb. Dr. Lindsay Gibson, an expert on emotionally immature parents, notes, “Controlling behaviors, like tantrums or intimidation, often stem from unmet emotional needs” . The OP’s father’s outburst—pouting, mocking, and intimidating her over food—suggests a need for dominance, not hunger, leaving the OP shaken and her mother silent.

The OP’s initial refusal was a small act of asserting her boundaries, but her father’s reaction—slamming the table and eating the lamb menacingly—escalated into emotional abuse. Research shows that 30% of adults report experiencing controlling parental behavior, often linked to fear-based compliance . The mother’s passivity likely reflects learned helplessness, a common response in dysfunctional dynamics.

ADVERTISEMENT

This story underscores broader issues of power imbalances in families. Dr. Gibson advises creating physical and emotional distance from such behaviors, as the OP plans by staying with a friend. She could also set clear boundaries, calmly stating that aggressive actions are unacceptable. Long-term, seeking therapy to process past yelling could empower her.

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit rolled up with a mix of shock and support, serving hot takes spicier than the tzatziki sauce. From calling the father’s behavior creepy to urging the OP to escape, the comments were a wake-up call. Here’s what the crowd had to say:

ADVERTISEMENT

foxxservo86 − NTA. This man sounds abusive AF. Your mom sounds like she had to cower during his episode. Because he didn't get his way. Then he becomes verbally and emotionally abusive towards you for no reason. You retreat to your room, where he chases you down while gnawing on the lamb carcass? That is kind of horrifying. Actually, its super horrifying.

Dszquphsbnt − Mary had a little lamb. Whose fleece was white as snow. And everywhere that Mary went. Your dad was a major a**hole.. **NTA** and seriously what the f**k?!

ADVERTISEMENT

I opened it, trying to keep myself calm and he just stood there, eating that piece of lamb? I asked him curtly what he wanted and he just stood there glaring at me while ripping into it?. This is legit creepier than Silence Of The Lambs.

blue_equinox13 − So let me get this straight. After eating a full portion of his own food on his plate he proceeded to eat part of your mother's portion of lamb and then practically demand your portion through pouting and THEN tried to rub it in your face when he got your lamb??? Does he consider all the food in the house to be his if he decides it to be? Jesus, NTA. Please get out of there. This man is a bully and a major a**hole.

ADVERTISEMENT

Ilovegifsofjif − NTA. I am very worried about your safety, honestly

fancypants-macghee − Jesus, that sounds awful. Is he always so aggressive?. My dad was abusive and it usually started with something small like this that would set him off.. NTA

ADVERTISEMENT

Boga11 − NTA. ​ And WTAF?? This sounds like high school boys locker room b**lshit. Is you dad having a breakdown or something? Does he do this often? He is physically intimidating you, and beign a threatening AH. Do you have someplace you can go to that is safe from your p**cho dad? He honestly sounds dangerous, I'm worried for you.

IsThatMarcy − NTA. SAVE EVERY PENNY YOU CAN AND GTFO.. Your dad sounds like an absolute bully, you living there cannot be healthy for you.

ADVERTISEMENT

Exia_Gundam00 − NTA in the slightest. Your father is an abusive jerk (I would say something a little harsher, but I will keep it civil). I love food, but the silent tantrum he threw over a piece of lamb is ridiculous. Also, why on Earth would someone stick their used fork in some food, and THEN ask if someone else is having it?

The answer, he probably expected you to just give it to him, and even when he got his way on the SINGLE PIECE of lamb, your father chose to start yelling at you. For crying out loud, he even goes to your room just to rip it apart and eat it in front of you? What is he? Four? Actually, wait, I have four-year-old cousins that are not that petulant. That guy is an abusive A that gets his power through fear and intimidation. I hope you can get away from him, OP.

User2squared − NTA. How does a toddler have 24 year old offspring?

[Reddit User] − I abolutely *despise* childish adults, especially parents. Your father reminds me too much of my own father, right down to the violent and unprovoked outbursts over meaningless things, as well as insisting to enter my room (with threats of punishment) simply to taunt me.. This is not normal behavior for a father. You are NTA.

ADVERTISEMENT

Redditors didn’t mince words, labeling the father’s actions abusive and urging the OP to prioritize her safety. Some saw the lamb incident as a symptom of deeper dysfunction, while others injected humor to lighten the mood. But do these reactions capture the full weight of the OP’s experience, or are they just scratching the surface?

The OP’s stand over a piece of lamb wasn’t about food—it was a fleeting bid for autonomy in a home shadowed by control. Her father’s tantrum and intimidation turned a simple meal into a haunting ordeal, pushing her to seek refuge with a friend. This story reminds us that small moments can reveal deep family fractures. What would you do if faced with a loved one’s controlling behavior over something as trivial as a dinner plate?

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *