AITA for not giving my cat back to the breeder?

When it comes to pet ownership, the decision-making process can sometimes take an unexpected twist—especially when breeders try to reclaim their “property.” In our case, a couple who long dreamed of owning a majestic Maine Coon ended up with a less-than-majestic version, prompting an offer from an acquaintance who runs a cattery.

Their goal was to provide a loving home and ensure the cat was neutered, not used for endless breeding. After a brief trial period, the new male cat quickly settled in with the resident feline, despite some initial personality clashes. What began as a promising arrangement soon turned complicated when the breeder reappeared with unexpected demands.

The breeder’s sudden request to retrieve the cat for a few days—and even for breeding purposes—shook up the household. Already wary of disrupting the established peace and routine, the family found themselves caught between a rock and a hard place.

With their new feline friend scheduled for neutering and integrated into the home, the idea of him being whisked away or used for breeding was not only impractical but raised serious ethical and welfare concerns. Is it wrong to stand your ground when it comes to your pet’s well-being?

‘AITA for not giving my cat back to the breeder?’

Animal behavior and welfare experts agree that a pet’s stability and well-being should always come first. Renowned cat behavior specialist Jackson Galaxy once said, “A cat’s environment and routine are key to its comfort and mental health.” In this situation, the family’s decision to keep their newly integrated male Maine Coon is based on sound principles.

The cat, still adjusting to his new home and bonding with the resident feline, benefits from consistency and familiar surroundings—especially before his scheduled neutering. Experts note that disrupting a pet’s environment can lead to stress and behavioral issues, which may manifest as anxiety or even aggression.

Furthermore, ethical considerations come into play when breeders attempt to reclaim a pet after it has become part of a loving family. Veterinary ethicist Dr. Marty Becker emphasizes, “Once a pet is adopted, its welfare must be prioritized over any commercial interest.”

The breeder’s insistence on using the cat for breeding, particularly after the initial agreement to neuter him, contradicts the original understanding and compromises the animal’s best interests. The consensus among experts is clear: maintaining the pet’s current environment, where it is loved and cared for, is paramount—even if that means standing firm against the breeder’s demands.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Here are some hot takes from the Reddit community—candid and often humorous. Many commenters rallied behind the family, with remarks such as, “Just say no to unethical breeders!” and “You did right by keeping him in a stable home.” Several users pointed out that the breeder’s sudden change of heart, especially after agreeing on neutering, was a red flag.

Others noted that if the breeder really cared about the cat’s genetic diversity or future, he should have made his demands clear upfront, rather than pressuring the family after the cat had settled in. The general consensus? Prioritizing the pet’s welfare is more important than any commercial interest, and any attempt to disrupt that is not only unethical but also potentially harmful.

Some commenters humorously compared the situation to a bad reality TV show, questioning whether the breeder was trying to run a modern-day “cat soap opera.” Others suggested that the family simply block the breeder and enjoy their pet without interference.

The overwhelming sentiment among the community is that the family’s decision to keep the cat in his current loving environment is completely justified, and any suggestion otherwise is met with strong disapproval.

In conclusion, this story highlights the complex intersection of ethical pet ownership and breeder expectations. When a pet becomes part of a family, its stability and well-being should always take precedence over any external claims—even if those claims come from a breeder with an agenda. The family’s decision to refuse the breeder’s push for breeding and potential removal of the cat aligns with a commitment to ensuring that the pet remains in a nurturing, stress-free environment.

But what do you think? Should pet owners have the final say once an animal has been integrated into a family? Or does the breeder’s original claim still hold any weight? Share your thoughts and experiences below—your perspective might just help others navigate similar tricky situations.