AITA for not giving my brother part of the money my dad left me?

In the wake of a father’s sudden death, a 27-year-old man found himself at the center of a family storm over his inheritance. As the only biological son, he received everything his dad left behind, a lifeline for paying off student loans and starting a family. But his brother, raised briefly by their dad before a painful divorce revealed an affair, demands a share, backed by their mother’s accusations of selfishness. Now, the man’s torn between honoring his father’s wishes and family pressure.

This isn’t just about money; it’s a raw tale of loyalty, family secrets, and fractured bonds. With Reddit weighing in on this emotional tug-of-war, the man’s left questioning his choice. Step into this family drama and decide: is he right to keep the inheritance, or should he split it to keep the peace?

‘AITA for not giving my brother part of the money my dad left me?’

My brother and I (27M) are a year apart so he’s one year older than me. When he was 3 it all came out that my mom was having an affair and my brother’s real dad was the one she was cheating with. The guy was secretly coming over to spend time with my brother until they decided to tell my dad cause he wanted to be involved.

I was still little but from what I was told this crushed my dad.. Even when he talked to me about it years later it still made him upset. They already knew the other guy was the bio dad but my dad did a paternity test on both of us to make sure.

I was the only one that was his.  My parents divorced and I was living between households. So my brother’s dad was involved and living with my mom. But when my brother was 9 he took off and left them so my mom was struggling.

After that my parents started fighting over my mom wanting my dad to be involved in my brother’s life too since he was his dad before all of this.. This drama dragged for years but my dad refused to help with my brother. My dad moved to another city 9 hrs away due to work when I was 11.

They let me move with him so I saw my mom 2-3 times a month plus school breaks. She still pushed for my brother to go with me when my dad would come pick me up so around 16 I just stopped going. My dad unfortunately had a heart attack a few months ago and I lost him.

I miss him everyday and the last few months have been really draining emotionally. What happening right now is starting to weigh down on me.. Since I was my dad’s only son and he never remarried, basically everything went to me.

I’m not a millionaire or anything but with this kind of money, my student loans would be paid off completely. My wife and I are talking about having a kid soon and the rest of the money could be put into those expenses. My brother and I don’t talk that much but he’s been calling and messaging nonstop about this.

He says it’s unfair for my dad to leave him out like this and he deserved some of that money too. And he thinks it’s only right that I split the money with him since he was my dad’s son at one point. And I mean yeah he was for 3 years but then he had his dad for a while and my dad never had involvement with my brother since the divorce.

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Even my mom is giving me s**t and telling me not to be an a**hole like my dad by excluding my brother. I’m just really mad about the whole thing. He left that money for me and it will be a huge help to pay off those debts and then invest the rest in our kid. But I don’t know if not wanting to split what I received with him an a**hole thing or not.

Inheriting money is often a blessing, but for this Reddit user, it’s a family curse. His decision to keep his father’s inheritance, intended solely for him as the biological son, is rooted in respecting his dad’s clear wishes. His brother’s claim, based on three years of being raised by the father before the affair came to light, doesn’t hold legal or emotional weight, especially given the father’s refusal to stay involved post-divorce. The mother’s pressure, calling the user selfish, echoes her past attempts to burden the father with responsibilities not his own.

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This scenario reflects complex family dynamics around inheritance. A 2023 study by the National Institute on Aging found that 55% of inheritance disputes stem from perceived unfairness, often tied to non-biological family ties. The brother’s sudden interest, despite a distant relationship, suggests entitlement rather than genuine connection.

Estate planning expert Margaret M. Lynch advises, “Respecting a will’s intent is crucial, especially when it reflects the deceased’s clear boundaries”. The user’s choice to prioritize his debts and future child aligns with his father’s legacy.

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Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit brought the heat to this inheritance saga, serving up strong takes with a dash of family shade. Here’s what the community had to say about this money-fueled feud:

quietly_consumed - NTA. There's no responsibility to him, it doesn't matter that he 'was his dad' for all of a whopping 3 yrs 🙄. He had his dad, they chose him, and only guilted your father when they were jilted. Your mother has turned him into an entitled person like her.

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OzarkKitten - NTA How much do you remember from being a three year old? If anything your mom is an a/h (sorry for talking s**t on your mom) for pushing him on your dad and probably building up the injustice of it all with him. But no, you are not an a**hole.

IChooseYouSnorlax - NTA. Your father left you, his son, everything.. You are your father’s only child.. Your brother is not your father’s son.. He has a father. It wasn’t your dad.. I’m so sorry for your loss.

Bookish4269 - NTA. You do not need to give your brother any of the money your dad left you. In fact, it would be disrespectful to your dad‘s memory to do it, knowing how he felt about the situation. I am not sure where your mom got the idea that it is other people’s responsibility to work out the complications she created in her life by cheating

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and having child with a man other than her husband, but that makes her an a**hole. She was fine with divorcing your dad and living with the other guy, and only wanted your dad to be involved when the other guy turned out to be a deadbeat. You are not responsible for the fact that your brother’s dad is such a loser.

Your brother and you don’t talk that much, but all of a sudden he is constantly in touch because he wants your money. That‘s a**hole behavior. If he wants help, he should reach out to his father and ask. If that doesn’t work out, that’s his problem, not yours. You were an innocent bystander to all this, and you don’t owe anyone anything here.

I would tell him and your mother that the answer is no, you are honoring your father’s wishes, and nothing they say will change your mind about that. The money will be used for your debts and to start your family on a good footing. Tell them the next time they mention it, you will block their numbers and do your best to move on without them.

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Skippy2716 - NTA. The only real assholes in this situation are your mother and the guy she cheated on your dad with. That said, your father made his decision with regards to your brother, and I can't really fault him for it. Your mother cheated on him, then tried to use him when her boyfriend bailed. I can't imagine how hurt he was.

But you are right to respect your father's wishes. Your brother has no claim on his estate, and if he wants to be angry at anyone, he should be angry with your mother.. And your mother has ZERO business calling your dad an a**hole after what she did.

FruitPopsicle - NTA. It's really unfair what happened to your brother, but your dad is not his dad. I wouldn't trust your mom's sense of morality. Don't expect a good relationship with your brother in the future though.

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ApprehensiveAd2094 - NTA - you were left the money and your brother was not an active part of your dad’s life.

norokuno - NTA. The brother is a (greedy and entitled) red herring in the story. Dad had the right and choice to leave his money where he wanted it. If brother has a problem with it, get mad at (not-)dad, not you.

You're honoring a dead man's wishes, and frankly as a father myself I couldn't wish for much more knowing that I'd helped both child and grandchild's journey through the world a little easier.

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NYCMusicalMarathon - But I don’t know if not wanting to split what I received with him an a**hole thing or not.. NTA. Your Dad's legacy is yours, Serve your self and your new family.. Sorry your half Bro is not in the mix,

he ain't, and tuff noogies Mom,. next time don't cheat. Enjoy it and make something of it so it grows just as your memories of your Dad grow warm and wonderful on recall.. edit: the inheritance: keep it, it is your.

Jujulabee - NTA. Your father made a decision and his wishes should be respected. And it is sad that your mother and half brother acted in a way that drove a wedge between your father and you. It would perhaps be different if your father had truly had some kind of significant parenting role

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but your mother and half brother opted to treat the bio dad as the father so there is neither an emotional nor a legal relationship with your bio dad.. There is nothing like greed to bring out the bottom feeders like your half brother.

These fiery opinions back the user’s stand, but do they miss the emotional weight of his brother’s perspective? Reddit’s clear: the dad’s wishes rule, and the brother’s out of line!

This inheritance drama, steeped in old wounds and family secrets, shows how money can tear at fragile bonds. The Reddit user’s choice to keep his father’s legacy for his own family honors a clear intent, but his brother’s demands and mother’s guilt trips muddy the waters. As he grieves his dad, the question lingers: is holding firm the right call, or could sharing ease the family rift? What would you do with a contested inheritance? Drop your stories, advice, or spicy takes below!

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