AITA for not giving money which I’ve been saving to niece?

Indian currency. A Reddit user, proud of their quirky hobby of collecting colorful 100 and 50 rupee bills, faced an unexpected challenge when their five-year-old niece set her heart on the eye-catching notes. What started as a playful show-and-tell spiraled into a family showdown, leaving the collector caught between personal pride and familial pressure.

The tension wasn’t just about money—it was about boundaries, entitlement, and the delicate dance of family dynamics. As the niece’s tantrum echoed, the user stood firm, sparking a debate that resonated with Reddit’s AITA community. Readers were drawn into the drama, questioning whether holding onto a cherished collection was selfish or a lesson in standing one’s ground.

‘AITA for not giving money which I’ve been saving to niece?’

I come from India. For those who don't know, Not very recently, our country demonetisated currencies bills and introduced new bills which are eye-catching in colors (50-blue, 100- purple, 200-orange, 2k-pink). So from last year, I've been saving 100 bills( now around 10k) which I think is pretty and I never spend it on anything.

I've also started saving 50 recently. Both my mom and grandma knows this. So when I went to grandma's house last weekend, my cousin came with her daughter. My grandma let it slip that I've been saving those bills and my niece wanted me to show it. I had no problem with that and I showed to her.

Suddenly she wanted me to give it to her. I thought she was joking and didn't care much but she started to be very adamant. I know how kids are and I love her. So I told her politely that it's just my hobby and maybe she can ask her mom(my cousin) to let her save money like me.

But she started to throw a tantrum and I didn't know what to do. I told her I'll give something else but she insisted she wanted the same.Eventually, my cousin, my mom and grandma came in. They all sided with her and said I should give in-order to not create drama and that wasn't a big deal.

My cousin even offered to give me same amount in other bills but I didn't want that. Eventually, she got very upset that I didn't give in. Everyone was clearly unhappy about that and they said I'm being very petty and I should have given her and that I'm a drama queen and made it a big deal.

I've been saving this particularly for a while and I'm kinda proud of it. That's why I didn't give her. But my mom was very unhappy and was passive-aggresive the whole time. My cousin wasn't very pleased either. So AITA?. EDIT: First, I'd like to Thank everyone for your opinion.

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I just went through all the comments(Sorry couldn't reply as I'm busy preparing for exams) I appreciate what you've said. As you all told, I'll continue not to give in and I know that enabling this leads to her growing into an entitled person and I definitely don't want that. Some of y'all wanted me to keep it safe And I don't think they'll stomp as low as stealing it. Either way, I'll make sure to keep it safe.

This sticky family situation highlights the challenge of balancing personal boundaries with familial expectations. The Reddit user’s refusal to part with their collection wasn’t just about money—it was about asserting their right to personal passions. According to Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, “Setting boundaries is a way of caring for yourself. It doesn’t make you selfish; it makes you healthy” (The Gottman Institute). Here, the user’s stance reflects a healthy assertion of self, despite family pushback.

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The niece’s tantrum, while age-appropriate, was amplified by the adults’ response. Enabling a child’s demands can foster entitlement, as noted in parenting studies. A 2019 report from the American Psychological Association suggests that overindulgence in childhood can lead to difficulties with self-regulation later in life (APA). The family’s pressure on the user to give in risks reinforcing this pattern, potentially shaping the niece’s understanding of boundaries poorly.

Broadening the lens, this story touches on a universal issue: navigating family expectations while preserving personal identity. The user’s hobby, tied to India’s vibrant post-demonetization currency, is a source of pride, yet it was dismissed as trivial by their family. This clash underscores the importance of respecting individual pursuits, even when they seem quirky to others.

For the user, a practical solution could be redirecting the niece’s interest. Offering her a single bill or a different collectible could spark her own hobby while reinforcing that not all desires are instantly gratified. Open communication with the family about the value of personal boundaries might also ease tensions, ensuring mutual respect without escalating drama.

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Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

The Reddit community didn’t hold back, delivering candid and spicy takes on this family fiasco. Here’s a peek at their thoughts, served with a side of humor:

Rtarara − NTA: You don't shower 5 year olds with cash every time they have a tantrum. That's ridiculous. It's good for you and even good for your niece that you stood your ground!

anxgrl − NTA. Your family members who are enabling this bratty entitled behavior are TA

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[Reddit User] − NTA. An entitled brat in the making if they enable her like this.

Looking-for-advice30 − NTA— and don’t give in, and sorry OP but your niece sounds like an entitled brat. You have been saving for a long time your bills; it’s a worthy hobby. Those bills may become very valuable in a few years so save them well. Your nice is a 5 year old kid with no concept of money, savings or collections.

She is just throwing a tantrum because she has been allowed to behave like this, the colors may have piqued her interested and she noticed these are things you value but she does not really care for or understand what the bills truly represent.. Just say no, eventually she will forget about it.

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Maybe you can give her some coins or another bill and tell her to start her own collection. But she needs to understand that a) she is not entitled to other people’s things, and b) we don’t get all the things we want in life. Lastly, tell your sister to talk to her daughter, and in the future I would not share these things with your family to avoid these situations.. Edit: typo.

mzsaylor − NTA your family is doing your cousins daughter a HUGE disservice by allowing her to get what she wants all the time.

Additional-Sport-836 − NTA your niece is disrespectful and being taught that she's entitled to things that do not belong to her. Your grandmother, and mother, had no right to undermine you in front of this child. This is your hobby, and its sick they think so little of it, that they think its ok for a 5 year old, to demand you give it up. Lock up your money and don't tell your grandmother anything!!

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linguinibubbles − NTA - It's your money, and you're the one who decides what to do with it. Your family is not entitled to making decisions about it for you. You were right in standing your ground.

neilatheealien − NTA - Keep your money in a hidden & safe place just in case they decide to steal it and give it to your niece anyway.

Drynn21 − NTA. If there is a drama queen here then it is your niece and your family is the slave.

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icantbelieveatall − 'they said I'm being very petty and i should have given her and that I'm a drama queen and made it a big deal'. Literally all of those things (except for giving the money obviously lol) are true of your niece, not you. It's insane that they would side with a 5 year old's bratty behavior over your wanting to keep your own property.. NTA

These hot takes from Reddit are bold, but do they truly capture the nuances of family dynamics, or are they just fanning the flames?

This colorful currency clash reveals the tricky balance between standing your ground and keeping family peace. The Reddit user’s resolve to protect their hobby sparked a broader conversation about entitlement and boundaries. What would you do if a family member demanded your prized possession for a child’s whim? Share your thoughts—have you ever faced a similar standoff, and how did you handle it?

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