AITA for not giving money to my former bully for child support?

The sting of high school bullying can linger like an unwelcome guest, and for one young woman, that past came knocking with an audacious request. At 21, she’s faced with a surprising plea from her former tormentor—a guy who once hurled cruel names like “prostitute” her way—now begging for £20 to buy baby supplies. The audacity of his ask stirs up old wounds, leaving her torn between guilt and self-preservation in a situation that feels all too personal.

Her story, shared on Reddit, captures a universal struggle: how do you respond when someone who hurt you expects your help? With limited funds and a kind heart often stretched thin for friends, she’s grappling with the pressure of his relentless calls. Readers are drawn into her dilemma, wondering where the line between compassion and self-respect lies in this unexpected reunion.

‘AITA for not giving money to my former bully for child support?’

Navigating a former bully’s request for help is like walking a tightrope between empathy and self-protection. For the original poster (OP), the emotional weight of past trauma clashes with societal pressure to be “kind.” According to Dr. Beverly Engel, a psychotherapist specializing in bullying recovery, “Bullies often exploit perceived weaknesses, even years later” (Psychology Today). Here, the former bully’s persistent calls could be an attempt to manipulate OP’s known generosity.

This situation highlights a broader issue: setting boundaries after trauma. Studies show that 70% of bullying victims struggle with trust and self-esteem into adulthood (National Bullying Prevention Center). OP’s hesitation reflects a natural instinct to protect herself, especially with her learning disability adding complexity to social interactions. Her refusal isn’t coldness—it’s self-preservation against someone with a history of harm.

Engel advises, “Reclaiming power means saying ‘no’ without guilt.” OP’s choice to offer advice instead of money shows strength, not selfishness. For others facing similar dilemmas, experts suggest clear communication—like stating, “I’m not comfortable helping”—and cutting contact if harassment persists. This approach empowers victims to prioritize their well-being while fostering healthier relationships.

To move forward, OP could document any further contact for safety and seek support from trusted friends or professionals. Boundaries aren’t just walls; they’re bridges to self-respect. By standing firm, OP models resilience, encouraging others to value their own peace over external pressures.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of support and shade for OP’s predicament. It’s like a virtual coffee shop debate where everyone’s got an opinion, and some are hilariously blunt. Here’s what the community had to say, raw and unfiltered:

These Redditors rallied behind OP, cheering her refusal while calling out the bully’s nerve. Some saw his persistence as a new form of harassment; others questioned why he’d even reach out. But do these fiery takes capture the full picture, or are they just fueling the drama?

This tale of a former bully’s bold ask reveals the tricky balance between past pain and present boundaries. OP’s decision to say no isn’t just about £20—it’s about reclaiming her power and refusing to let old wounds dictate her choices. Her story resonates with anyone who’s faced an unexpected blast from the past, forcing a choice between kindness and self-care. What would you do if a former tormentor asked for your help? Share your thoughts and experiences below!