AITA for not getting on a flight upon finding out that he put my kids in economy?

A last-minute glance at the boarding passes turned a Thanksgiving trip into a dealbreaker for one devoted mom. Picture this: a bustling airport, kids in tow, and the sting of betrayal when she realized her children were relegated to economy while her fiancé and his kids lounged in first class. The audacity! This Reddit saga unravels a story of family dynamics, clashing priorities, and a mother’s fierce stand for fairness, leaving readers buzzing with opinions.

This tale isn’t just about airplane seats—it’s a glimpse into a relationship teetering on the edge. The woman, juggling her studies and most of the parenting, expected a united family holiday. Instead, she faced a stark division that spoke volumes about her fiancé’s values. With her kids’ feelings at stake, she made a bold choice that sparked heated debates online. Let’s dive into her story and see why this flight never took off.

‘AITA for not getting on a flight upon finding out that he put my kids in economy?’

My fiancee has 3 kids from his former marriage whilst I have 2, from my former marriage as well. I quit my job to start focusing on getting my degree. He's become the 'breadwinner' if you will although I still contribute with my savings! I also do 80% of child-care and chores.

Long story short, He wanted me and my kids to attend thanksgiving with his family who are located across country and we were supposed to go yesterday (ahead of time to get a rental place). He bokked our tickets and everything but later, before the flight I found out that he, his kids and myself were put in 1st class whilst my 2 kids (14) & (10) were put in economy.

I was stunned, he acted like it was a no big deal and told us it's just few hours and the kids could 'just hang in there for a little while'. I asked how he could think this was acceptable and he got mad and said he's the one paying for tickets then we go by his rules. I immediately turned around and took the kids and made my way out of the airport.

He started following us screaming at me to go back but I refused and told him that I no longer felt like spending thanksgiving with his folks after this. My youngest cried because she never flew without me. He went with his kids. My and the kids are home.

He has not stop calling trying to berate me and even had his mom text that I needed to get over myself and stop teaching my kids to be spoiled and entitled. She said that the fact that I was 'willing' to miss thanksgiving with the family over something so trivial shows my real character and perseonality and mindset or 'lack thereof'. I have not replied but I feel horrible.

AITA, should I have just let it slide and just went? In case I wasn't clear, ME AND THE KIDS LEFT OUR FAMILY/HOMETOWN SO WE COULD GO CELEBRATE WITH HIS FAMILY IN HIS HOMETOWN. My kids weren't too excited leaving their granparents for a week or so.

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**UPDATE I'm currently getting myself and the kids packed so that we go stay with my mother. This has happened BEFORE in other instances but I kept thinking to myself 'this is not right but I have invested too much time and effort in this relationship so maybe this shouldn't get in the way'..and I'd try to minimize most situations where I find my kids being put last.

Not only that but he tried to give me an ultimatum regarding getting my degree and what was my response? 'This isn't right....' but kept making light of it and letting go. Now he's probably badmouthing me to the whole family (and so is his mom, bless her effing heart)The kids and I are leaving,

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He'll be coming back to an empty home...except he'll find some company with the engagement ring that I took off and left on the nightstand. Distance and some re-evaluation is needed right now. Thank ypu to all who reached out with helpful input and prespectives. You're right, my kids come first and that's what I keep trying to do and I hope I won't ever fail. Thank you so much for the support.**

This story isn’t just about a flight—it’s a red flag waving in a stormy relationship. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Fairness and respect are the cornerstones of any partnership” (source: Gottman Institute). Here, the fiancé’s choice to split the kids by class screams favoritism, undermining the trust essential for a blended family.

The OP’s fiancé justified his actions with a blunt “my money, my rules,” a stance that hints at control issues. This isn’t just about seats; it’s about how he views her children. By placing them in economy, he sent a message: his kids come first. The added sting? He didn’t even consult her, leaving her blindsided at the gate.

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This situation reflects a broader issue: blended families often struggle with equitable treatment. A 2020 study from the Journal of Marriage and Family found that 40% of step-parents report challenges in treating all children equally (source: Wiley Online Library). The fiancé’s dismissal of the OP’s concerns, coupled with his mother’s harsh texts, suggests a pattern of disregard that could escalate.

What should the OP do? Experts suggest open communication and clear boundaries. Dr. Gottman advises couples to “turn toward each other” during conflict. The OP could propose a calm discussion about family values, but given her update about leaving, she’s already prioritizing her kids. Therapy or mediation could help if she reconsiders, but her instinct to protect her children is spot-on.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit didn’t hold back on this one—grab your popcorn for these spicy takes! The community rallied behind the OP, with users calling out the fiancé’s blatant favoritism and control tactics. Here are some standout comments:

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corgwin − NTA. His kids in first class, your kids in economy? That's a bad sign for the future. Then his response is to berate you and future MIL calling your kids spoiled and entitled? Even worse. It would not have ended here. I would be done with that relationship.

Independent-Top3524 − NOOOO you are right and NOT the AH. Either all kids fly one way or no dice. If you can afford first class for 4 you can afford first class for 6 or all fly economy if you dont want kids to feel entitled. He has clearly shown where your kids rate to him especially over his kids. You may want to rethink marriage to an AH like that.

DemainTomorrow − NTA. Your fiancé seems to missing the point: it's not that you expected your kids to be in 1st class, but that once everyone else was in 1st class, it was not okay to put them in economy. I would be very worried about how he treats your kids in comparison to his own from now on. My brother's widow is remarried to someone who makes a lot of money. I can assure that he treats her kids exactly as how he treats his own.

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TrainingDearest − NTA. First strike: wrong for him to segregate your kids downward. Second strike: wrong for him to seat minor children away from a parent without that Parent's knowledge. Last strike: that he and his mother have teamed up to attack you. That this guy (or his family) doesn't even consider any of his actions wrong and are doubling down instead is a huge Red Flag.

He is not marriage material. His sense of entitlement and control along with his poor communication skills will make for a lot more situations like this as your kids grow and transition into adulthood. Sorry you got a bad lemon, no lemonade to be made here.

snarkingintheusa − NTA I would seriously reconsider marrying a man who treats your children as less than. I would also seriously reconsider marrying a momma’s boy.

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GennyNels − NTA. He is though. He will never treat your kids well. If you stay with him know that your kids will ALWAYS be second class citizens in his home.

KurlyKayla − The deeper issue here isn’t about economy class vs business class. It’s about financial control. “My money my rules” is a quick pathway to financial abuse. You did the right thing by choosing “my kids, my choice”. Also, the raised voice. The refusal to even consult with you first.

And the implications of how he views your kids..all of these are red flags, OP. NTA. Edit: Way to go for leaving, OP! The fact this is just another notch in the pattern is definitely indicative it would only continue to get worse. I’m curious what the ultimatum regarding your degree was that he gave you? Either way, well done for putting yourself and your kids first. You’re a good mom.

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SamSpayedPI − ~~I N F O: How old are his children?~~ NTA. If they were babies, obviously you need them up with you, while the older kids could sit in economy. And if they were adults, I could see them benefiting more from first class. But since they are around the same age as your children, there was no (non-a**hole) reason to have them sit separately.

I could see putting *all* of the kids together in economy, for a little unsupervised fun and extra independence (of course, he would need to notify you of this in advance). But there's no excuse for giving his *own* kids the luxury seats and sending *yours* to the back, let alone not telling you he was doing so.

Babshearth − NTA. He could have put all the kids in coach or all of you in coach. His arrangement sent a message to HIS children that they out rank yours. Not acceptable. I’d be hurt and not get on the plane either. Your future MIL should have kept out of it. I hope you aren’t now financially dependent upon him. You gave up your income and contributing out of savings. Sound very insecure for you. Please take care of you and your kids.. Eta spelling

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Fnupps − RUN! Do not make this awful person a permanent part of your childrens lives. He has shown you who he is and how little he thinks of your children compared to his own and he will always treat your children like they are not worth the time of day whilst giving his own children the world. NTA as long as you get your children away from this man, if you dont you most certainly are the ah here.

These Reddit hot takes are fiery, but do they cut through the noise? The consensus is clear: the OP’s kids deserve equal treatment, and her fiancé’s actions raise serious doubts about his commitment to their family.

This Thanksgiving tale took a turbulent turn, revealing cracks in a relationship that couldn’t withstand the weight of unfairness. The OP’s decision to walk away from the flight—and ultimately the relationship—shows a mom putting her kids first, even when it hurts. What would you do if you were in her shoes? Would you have boarded the plane or taken a stand like she did? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s keep this conversation flying!

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