AITA for not ending my vacation early and rushing home for the birth of our grandchild?

Sun-soaked beaches, turquoise waves lapping at the shore, and a long-awaited escape to Cancun set the stage for a couple’s dream vacation. For a 52-year-old man and his wife, this trip was a year in the making, a rare chance to unwind. But paradise turned tense when their daughter, expecting her first child, called with news of early labor. Torn between a non-refunded trip and their daughter’s pleas, they faced a heart-wrenching choice that left family ties strained.

The urgency of a first-time mother’s fear clashed with the reality of being thousands of miles away. Readers might feel the sting of the daughter’s disappointment, wondering if love should trump logistics. This story dives into the messy balance of family duty and personal plans, sparking debates about priorities and presence when it matters most.

‘AITA for not ending my vacation early and rushing home for the birth of our grandchild?’

I 52m and my wife were on a two week vacation in Cancun Mexico. Were from the US and planned all year for this trip, and Saved up money to be able to Go on this trip. (edit; We booked and paid before my daughter was pregnant.) It was our 6th day there when our daughter26 boyfriend called us saying she was giving birth and we had to get on the next plane ride home.

We were aware my daughter was soon to pop, but her due date wasn’t until the end of this month, mind you these events took place in the beginning of this month. We told him that was impossible, and just to follow their birthing plan and to keep us updated.

A few hours later we got a call from my daughter updating us then asking when we’d be on our way back and that she really wanted us to be here and that it was taken longer then expected, she was scared, etc. She’s a first time mom so it was expected for her to be scared.

My wife and I assured her everything would be fine, but we were unable to just pack up and go. She got upset and hung up on me. Hours later in the middle of the night we missed a call due to us sleeping and it was her boyfriend saying there was complications and they were performing emergency c section.

The next morning we called immediately and our daughter told us she was scared and things could’ve went bad and our Cancun trip was more important to us then her, then hung up. We tried to call back but she wouldn’t answer. The baby was born healthy and our daughter is okay.

We have only seen pictures of our grandchild through Facebook because our daughter hasn’t let us see her and has barely spoke to us since we’ve been back home. We had planned to be there for our grandchild’s birth, but we couldn’t leave 6 days into a trip we spent a large amount of money on.

Even if we did we wouldn’t make it back on time. Even if we did make it back we couldn’t do anything the doctors couldn’t in the situation. I feel as though our daughter is being too harsh to us. We have apologized many of times.

Family milestones like a child’s birth can feel like a tightrope walk between joy and obligation. This couple’s decision to stay in Cancun, while practical, left their daughter feeling abandoned during a vulnerable moment. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned family psychologist, notes, “Emotional connection is built through small, consistent acts of turning toward loved ones” . Missing the emergency C-section call likely deepened the daughter’s sense of isolation.

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The parents’ choice was rooted in logistics—flights from Mexico aren’t instant, and costs were steep. Yet, the daughter’s perspective highlights a broader issue: the expectation of parental presence during life-altering events. A 2023 study from the Journal of Family Psychology found that 68% of new parents value emotional support from family over physical presence . Her hurt stems from feeling sidelined, amplified by the trauma of an emergency C-section.

Dr. Gottman’s research suggests validating emotions to mend rifts. The parents could acknowledge their daughter’s fear and pain without defensiveness, perhaps saying, “We’re so sorry you felt alone; we wanted to be there.” This validates her experience while explaining their constraints. Open dialogue, perhaps over coffee, could rebuild trust.

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For others in similar binds, prioritize communication—set clear expectations before trips and keep phones on during crises. Apologizing sincerely, even if not at fault, can soothe raw emotions. Families navigate these storms best by listening and showing up, even if just through a call.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit’s hive mind didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of empathy and tough love. Some cheered the parents’ practicality, while others roasted their priorities. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd:

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DialPlumeria − NTA- you can't just rush home from another country, and if you had, same day tickets would have been astronomical. I take it your daughter is mad, but it was a no win situation. You planned the trip way ahead,

and you could not just rush home because traveling from another country doesn't work that way.. Also there are still covid procedures in place, so chances are the nurses would have sent you home

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xtinejoi − I'm confused? Do people normally expect the grandparents to be witness to their grandchildren's birth? I personally never heard/experienced this around me. Weird. I wouldn't even expect my dad to be there and I love him to death. NTA? Idk whatever floats people boats I guess.

Dependent-Show2297 − NTA. I say this as a mother of 2 with 2 c-sections, with blood issues and allergy to meds (so no pain killers after the surgeries), with the 2nd baby born in covid maternity and with all the stress caused by this (baby was covid negative, underweight but healthy, saw him after 2 weeks).. You couldn't have done a thing for them.

At my first c-section the doctors screwed up something because my family saw the other doctors and nurses from the other ORs rushing to my OR and my family couldn't do a thing to help. Finally i got out of the OR alive. Even if you would have tried and booked a flight (losing the trip money) and paying extra for the last minute tickets, you would have missed the birth..

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They would have blamed you anyway.. Why do i think they're blaming you? Because it was a stressful event. They weren't ready. I know how it is to feel alone. But i also know you couldn't have done anything for them.. From the moment they went to the hospital till the c-section probably passed less than 12 hours. It's sad that she is upset. I understand her need of comfort.

But still it wasn't your fault for not being there. I would send her a message in which i would tell her how much you love her and miss her and how bad you feel for the way things happened and how you hope she will forgive you because you hurt her (she's emotional, but i think later on she will see both sides of the story and right now all you can do is apologising for hurting her)

InstructionTime5026 − NAH for not ending your vacation early, that would be a bit much and silly, you didn’t purposely go away when the baby was due. I don’t think your daughter is an a**hole because she’s upset and didn’t feel supported. I will say.. I think it sucks that you weren’t calling to check in/slept through something major.

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It’s so great that her and the baby are okay, but with an emergency surgery things could have gone a very different way. If my mom was away and couldn’t get to me when I was in labor, she would be constantly calling/texting to make sure everything was going okay and she’d make sure she could answer her phone in case there was an emergency.

I would do the same for my babies.. maybe it’s a family thing or a culture thing? But i do think she would’ve felt more supported if you had at least checked in more/answered when there was an emergency. It’s a tough situation all around. Hopefully she’ll come around after the hormones die down and it’s not so fresh.

embopbopbopdoowop − All else aside, YTA for missing the call at night when you knew that she was in labour, it was taking longer than expected, and she was scared and wanted you there. You should have been expecting another call with an update (ETA: you had explicitly asked to be kept updated!)

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and you should have had phones on maximum volume. Connected to megaphones. I don’t think the rest is unreasonable, but she would have felt so unimportant to you between that call and the next morning’s callback.

HardRainisFalling − I want to say you're not an a**hole. I really do. But all I can think about is what I'd do for my daughter. I'd move heaven and earth to be there for her. My mother drove four hours to be there when I had an emergency giving birth.

There's things you do for the people you love. And you didn't do it. How the f**k is Cancun more important than your child? Your grandchild? I'd f**king walk across broken glass if my baby girl needed me.

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deadninbed − You didn’t need to rush back from your trip but you could have done a lot more to let your daughter know you were there for her. Number 1 would be keeping your phones on loud, and letting your daughter know you guys would be available via phone whenever she needed.

YTA for not answering the call about the emergency c section when you already knew she was in labour and weren’t able to make it back. Hearing your voices and support at that time may have meant a lot to her - that’s why they called after all, even after you saying you couldn’t come.

Squid52 − I mean, NAH but you’ve chosen what’s important to you. Your daughter has clearly communicated how your actions made her feel. Now you are suffering the effects of those choices, but you didn’t prioritize her so you can’t expect her to prioritize you. You made your bed here.

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bilbiblib − YTA: How many weeks along was your daughter when she went into labor? If she was 37 weeks, AND you told her you’d be there, then you f**ked up and should have moved your trip when you found out the due date. Or, you should have communicated that you did not know if you could be there for the birth.

37-42 weeks is the range of normal. It sounds like her birth experience was traumatic. Early labor, long labor, emergency surgery. She was in the midst of a traumatic experience, reached out to her parents, and was told “not now honey we are on vacation”. That really, really sucks.

Zoeyoe − Your daughter is a grown ass woman with her significant other by her side and a team of doctors. Your presence would have been nice, but completely unnecessary. She knew you were on vacation in a foreign country so why in the world world you just fly home? You spoke to her and kept reassuring her to trust her self and her plans. You did nothing wrong here. NTA

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These Redditors tore into the drama with gusto, some fist-bumping the parents for sticking to their plans, others side-eyeing their missed calls during a crisis. But do these hot takes capture the full picture, or are they just tossing fuel on the family fire?

This story stirs up the age-old tug-of-war between personal plans and family expectations. The parents faced an impossible choice, but their daughter’s hurt lingers, raising questions about how we show up for those we love. Mending this rift will take patience, apologies, and maybe a few heartfelt talks over baby photos. What would you do if a dream vacation clashed with a family emergency? Share your thoughts and experiences—how do you balance duty and desire?

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