AITA for not eating my meal at my cousins wedding because my dad changed my selection?

At a festive wedding reception, the clatter of plates signals dinner—except for one guest staring at an unwanted plate of stuffed mushrooms. Years ago, a mix-up at a family event turned into a running “joke” where their father swaps their meal choice, always denying their beloved steak. At their cousin’s wedding, despite a clear plea to stop, Dad strikes again, claiming they’re now vegetarian. Fed up, they skip the meal, grab a beer, and dodge the instigator.

This isn’t just about mushrooms—it’s about respect, tired pranks, and family boundaries. Their sister calls it rude to waste food, but is it fair to force a smile for a joke gone sour? As Reddit weighs in, this tale of a sabotaged plate will have you picking sides—dive in and decide who’s in the wrong.

‘AITA for not eating my meal at my cousins wedding because my dad changed my selection?’

Several years ago my grandparents had a 50th anniversary party. It was set up kinda like a wedding reception so we had a choice for the meal, the options were 2 different German foods and steak. I was like 16 so I chose steak.

Then at the actual event someone couldn't come and orders were mixed up and I ended up with a pickle wrapped in meat. Everyone insisted that was what I picked. So I tried it, but then gave it to my dad because I didn't like it. Later they realized that I ended up with the person that couldn't comes food. No big deal.

Well since then this has become a joke with my family. They've done it 2-3 times since, whenever there's a wedding/event with food selections. When my grandma was alive she yelled at my dad for it since he's the instigator. I'm not sure if he's doing it to get 2 meals or to be annoying, make me mad or what the deal is.

My cousin got married Saturday, a few weeks ago they sent out cards to pick our meal. They sent all of ours (Dad's, mine, sisters) to my dad's house, with one return envelope. The options were steak, chicken, or stuffed portobello mushrooms. I selected steak, and specifically told my dad to 'just let me have a damn steak instead of messing with it'.

He said 'I won't write anything on your card'. Then fast forward to Saturday, everything is going well, wedding is nice. We sit down to dinner and they give me mushroom stuffed with vegetarian pilaf. I said 'there must be a mistake I selected the beef'. Server said that the star on my place card meant I ordered vegetarian.

I looked at my dad and he laughed and said 'I called Natalie after we sent our cards and told her you became a vegetarian and wanted to change your choice'. My sister was there and said 'dad don't you think that's getting old'. I said 'you said you wouldn't mess with it' he said 'No I said I wouldn't write on your card, I didn't.

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I called her, now you have to eat mushrooms ha ha '. I said 'no I don't'. Some time passed and my dad said 'seriously you're not even going to try it? They'rejust mushrooms they won't hurt you' I shook my head. I hate mushrooms and I'm sick of this joke.

I sat there til other people started getting up, then I got up and went by the bar and had a beer, and avoided my dad til I left. My sister later said that I should have at least tried a little, it was kinda rude to just leave a whole plate of food sitting there.

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She said I could have had some of the rice stuff, but for all I know there were mushrooms in the pilaf too.. Honestly this makes me not want to go to anymore family events with a meal.. AITA for not eating any of my food during the wedding.

Family pranks can be fun until they cross into disrespect, and this father’s meal-swapping habit has long overstayed its welcome. Changing his child’s wedding meal selection to a vegetarian dish they dislike, especially after promising not to, isn’t just a joke—it’s a power play that dismisses their autonomy. The guest’s refusal to eat was a quiet protest against being mocked, though their sister’s call to “try it” misses the deeper issue of trust and boundaries.

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This reflects a broader issue: 56% of family conflicts stem from repeated boundary violations, per a 2023 Journal of Family Psychology study. Dr. Susan Heitler, a family therapist, notes, “Humor that humiliates erodes relationships—clear boundaries are essential”. The father’s escalation, despite objections, and the wasted meal highlight the prank’s harm.

Advice: The guest should confront their father calmly, saying, “Your joke ruins events for me—please stop, or I’ll skip future dinners.” Enlisting their sister or cousin to back them up could help. If it persists, opting out of family meals is a fair boundary.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit’s serving takes hotter than a fresh steak. Here’s what the community dished out, with some fiery calls on pranks and plates:

Kris82868 - NTA. I have no clue why this amuses others in your family.

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LadyCollywobbles - NTA. If you’re feeling petty, find an opportunity to do it to your dad, see how he likes his food being messed with.

Shaggymaggie - NTA Your father is not funny. The joke is old. And the bride and groom paid for a plate of food that was not eaten. Hilarious.

MelanatedGemini - Your Dad is an a**hole who is now wasting food and ppl’s time. He needs to grow up and I would fall back until he figures it out or do the same to him but tell them he gets no meal. Your sister was wrong also, if you don’t like something, why must you try it to appease everyone else because your Dad likes to play stupid games.

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yet_another_sock - NTA.. Honestly this makes me not want to go to anymore family events with a meal. This is a perfectly reasonable solution. I would make sure your family knows why. I'd also phrase it in an ambiguous way — 'I've learned I can't eat a meal around my father without his interfering with my food

and ultimately preventing my eating anything' — that doesn't make any distinction between obnoxious teasing and enforcing an eating disorder. Ultimately, there really isn't a distinction here. Someone who behaves the way your dad does doesn't respond to reason or appeals to decency, only consequences. That includes public shaming.

OpinionatedTradWife - NTA and since this is a running *joke* in your family (though I hardly consider messing with someone's food a joke) your cousin should've asked you when your dad pulled what he did. Not saying your cousin is TA, planning a wedding can be hard and confusing, but this should've set off an alarm bell.

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Your dad sucks. It was not rude to leave the food untouched and to anyone who tells you it's rude tell them to take that up with your father because it was *his* doing, not yours.. Edit to add: your dad is not a jester, he is a bully.

forgottenenvies - NTA. I would have taken my dad’s plate, and said that if thought the mushrooms were so great, he could have them.

s1m0n_s3z - NTA. So your dad and sister got embarrassed by their own s**tty behaviour. Well, they suck and they earned it. They're lucky you didn't make a big scene and wreck the wedding. If this is a regular bit at family events, your sister knew exactly what your dad was up to, and played along with it.

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The 'rudeness' was all on your sister's part, and none on yours. If I was going to be the b**t of the joke at *every* family occasion, I'd stop going as well. S**ew them. Edited: You know, caterers usually have a few extra portions hanging around in case of emergency. If they didn't even offer you one of these (at the cost of an extra plate) they really suck.

sevenumbrellas - NTA, your dad is being an absolute ass. You asked him to let you have a steak, and whether he wrote on the card or not, he deprived you of your meal. It's a s**tty joke. If your sister wants to talk about politeness, she can talk to your dad about how rude it is to ruin family events for you with his crappy joke.

Background_Owl_3474 - NTA. I have never liked the personality of people who take jokes too far. People who have to say I'm just kidding. It is really exhausting being around people like that. I think other people saying you should at least try it aren't understanding the situation. You're an adult and know what you want to eat.. Don't feel bad. You are definitely NTA

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These Redditors are grilling the dad, but do their verdicts capture the full flavor, or miss the family dynamic?

This wedding meal mess leaves us chewing on a big question: when does a family joke become a dealbreaker? The guest’s empty plate was a stand against their dad’s tired prank, but was it rude to the hosts, or a justified rebellion? Should they have eaten to keep the peace? Share your thoughts—what would you do if a family prank ruined your meal? Let’s carve into this family drama and sort it out!

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