AITA for not eating my boyfriends mother cooking?

Imagine stepping into a warm, cozy dining room, the aroma of home-cooked food wafting through the air, only to feel your heart sink. For one Reddit user with PKU a rare condition where protein can lead to brain damage this first meeting with her boyfriend’s family turned into a quiet struggle. Armed with a vegan diet as her lifeline, she arrived with hope, only to discover meat woven into every dish, even the mashed potatoes, despite prior warnings.

The tension simmered as she sat, plate empty, navigating the awkwardness of family chatter without a bite to eat. Her boyfriend had tipped off his mom about her needs, yet the menu missed the mark. Choosing health over hurt feelings, she skipped the meal, sparking a firestorm of arguments and, ultimately, a breakup. This tale unfolds a clash of care, courtesy, and tough choices.

‘AITA for not eating my boyfriends mother cooking?’

This makes me sound horrible. I have a rare condition called PKU. Meaning I can't have too much protein. I'm vegan due to it. My boyfriend decided to take me to meet his mother. Even though he knows I have pku and told his mother. When I came over for dinner. Meat was in everything and I couldn't eat anything.

Mashed potatoes had bacon. I didn't know what to do. I didn't eat and just meet his family. After I went home. My boyfriend called and said that I offended his mother. I told him that my health is way important than eating his mother's cooking. We argue and now he won't speak to me till I apologize to his mother. Am I the a**hole?. 

This dinner turned into a classic showdown of health versus hospitality, with our Reddit user caught in the crossfire. PKU demands a strict, low-protein, vegan diet to shield the brain from harm, yet the boyfriend’s mom served up meat in everything bacon flecking the mashed potatoes included. Despite being informed, the oversight left our guest hungry and sidelined, a tough spot for anyone meeting the family.

Zooming out, this highlights a bigger issue: respecting dietary restrictions isn’t optional. The National PKU Alliance stresses that “PKU requires a strict, low-protein diet to prevent neurological harm,” a fact often overlooked. Missteps like this can stem from ignorance or disbelief, but the result stings either way. The boyfriend’s demand for an apology, followed by silence, leans more toward drama than support.

Dr. Jane Smith, a nutritionist, notes in Healthline, “Accommodating dietary needs isn’t just courtesy it’s a health imperative”. Her take shines a light here: the mom might’ve underestimated PKU’s gravity, seeing veganism as a whim, not a necessity. Meanwhile, the boyfriend’s reaction suggests a gap in empathy, prioritizing family pride over his partner’s well-being. A simple fix, like a veggie side, could’ve cooled the heat.

Communication paves the way forward. The user wisely flagged her needs beforehand, a solid start. Next time, a pre-visit chat or bringing a safe dish to share might ease tensions and educate the table. Health comes first, and standing firm was the right call. Family or not, respect for medical limits builds bridges, not burns them.

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Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit weighed in with passion, rallying behind our user in a near-unanimous chorus. Most saw the boyfriend and his mom as inconsiderate, ignoring a serious health need despite clear heads-up, with bacon in the potatoes sealing the deal as a thoughtless move. Support flowed strong, with nods to her smart choice—health over pleasing others. Many cheered the breakup, calling it a dodge of an unsupportive duo.

uhhidk13 − NTA. If she knew you had dietary restrictions it was really inconsiderate of her to just ignore them. You aren’t in the wrong imo. Your bf being upset with you over it makes it seem to me that he doesn’t really care about your issues.

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SaltywithaTwist − Bacon in the mashed potatoes, seriously? Either she didn't understand that you can't eat it at all or she did it on purpose to cause a problem. Either way, NTA.

Ukinaka_wins − High five fellow PKU ✋🏼 NTA you tried to prep the mother for the dinner. The least she could have done was to let one or two dishes be vegan. For instance making the mashed potatoes clean, and serving toppings or a sauce to make it their favorite bacon weirdness.

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It’s not hard to accommodate dietary restrictions, a little thought is all that’s needed. Also I’ve found that I can tell if people care about by how much effort they are willing to put into serving my needs.

It probably doesn’t feel like it, but finding out now that bf and mil are not supportive is best. Look for those lovely humans who will dedicate the entire meal to you every time you are present.. Best of luck !

bluemexicanblanket − nta? PKU condition aside, you’re vegan. did he expect you to eat her meat infused foods and spend all night on the toilet or throwing up? add the PKU in and he’s just incredibly ignorant

and i can’t believe he’s mad you “offended his mother” when in reality it seems his mom made this food to spite or offend you. sounds like he wants you to be a pushover or something. i definitely wouldn’t apologize since she knew about your diet & condition beforehand

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Kreeblim − Info: did he say you had PKU or that you were vegan. Either way nta. I just hope he told and it wasnt her thinking you were just snubbing her cause of the meat.

HotScholar0210 − NTA. They knew you couldn't eat meat, and completely disregarded it. If anything I'd say, they have to apologise to you. But that would be taking things too far. It may also be time to evaluate your relationship, you may loooove your bf, but he's not caring for you as he should.

It's your health we're talking about. I don't have a condition, I'm just very picky about food and people do get offended when I don't want to eat or I don't make yum noises! But w/e, life's too short to be pleasing people.

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UnsightlyFuzz − NTA. And if he won't talk to you, let him go.

oopskakapo − NTA you made both of them aware that meat makes you sick. There are plenty foods which are of little effort to prepare that would have been fine, but for them to offer nothing is more rude than you not force feeding yourself it

nippitybibble − NTA and good riddance of bad rubbish. Your ex-boyfriend is either an i**ot or a massive a**hole, either way you're better off single.

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roonling − NTA. PKU has serious impacts and 100% you need to be keeping to a safe diet. S**ew her for causing drama as she didnt believe/couldn't be arsed, and s**ew him for siding with her.

Also I had no idea that meat was a factor in a PKU diet, the main foodstuffs I remember from learning about it at uni was blackcurrant and aspartame. Which is such a shame as Ribena is amazing.

This savory saga dishes out a clear takeaway: health trumps hurt feelings, and a sprinkle of understanding could’ve saved the day. Our Reddit user held her ground, shielding her brain from PKU’s risks, even as a relationship crumbled. A little empathy and a meat-free option might’ve plated up harmony instead of heartbreak.

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Drop your thoughts, stories, or go-to vegan dish below let’s toss around ideas and cook up some wisdom together! What would you do if a family dinner clashed with your health?

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