AITA for not disclosing that my hair is dyed for an internship?

Imagine landing your dream internship, only to find yourself in hot water over… your hair. A young professional, thrilled to join a remote team, rocks vibrant pastel locks under a wig to ace a virtual interview. But when summer heat makes the wig unbearable, her team’s chill vibe and approval to ditch it clash with a hiring manager’s unexpected fury. Was she wrong to keep her true colors under wraps?

This work-from-home saga unfolds in a world of Zoom calls and casual vibes, where personal style meets rigid expectations. The intern’s faded pastel hair, a quarantine experiment, becomes a flashpoint for a debate on professionalism and authenticity. With her team cheering her on and HR backing her up, the hiring manager’s outrage feels like a storm in a teacup—but is it? Dive into this tale of workplace norms and self-expression.

‘AITA for not disclosing that my hair is dyed for an internship?’

Hello, the hiring manager is really upset with me for not disclosing that my hair is dyed. I know a lot of industries see colored hair as unprofessional but I still think that the hiring manager blew it out of proportion, a lot of my team also thinks my hair looks cool!.

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Context: I have always wanted to dye my hair; so when quarantine hit, I knew it was time to go for it! I ended up dying my head two different pastel colors. I haven't been keeping up with my hair so it's faded a lot and my roots have grown in, but I don't mind it! I knew that my colored hair would not be seen as professional so I ended up buying a wig to hide it during interviews + when I go to work.

Well after some interviewing, I landed an internship! This week I got to meet the team I'll be working with and start the integration period onto their team. (I have to learn the ropes of how they do things before I can do any work.) As summer is beginning to roll around, the weather is starting to get hot and wearing the wig makes me even hotter!

Well yesterday my team lead noticed me sweating quite a bit and asked if I had a fan I can turn on. I said that I did but that I thought taking off my wig would be easier. Before taking off my wig I let the team know that I had colored hair, and no one had a problem with it.

They all just wanted me to be comfortable. Since the team lead is technically my boss and I got approval I thought everything was okay. I even emailed them after the meeting to ask if I could stop wearing the wig, and they agreed that it was for the best.

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The team lead also pointed out that there is no official rule against colored hair and that everyone thinks it looks nice. Somehow information about my dyed hair got back to the hiring manager and I got an angry email this morning.

They were really upset about the fact that I didn't disclose my true hair color and that wearing a wig during the interview was a form of lying. I don't understand this perspective as I fully intended on wearing the wig if necessary for the duration of the I internship.

I emailed back telling them that I was completely willing to wear the wig everyday, but they told me that I would make them look like a 'hard ass.' I'm really unsure if I am in the wrong here. The only people seeing me during the internship would really be my team and around new people I'd wear my wig.. ** IMPORTANT UNMENTIONED INFO:. This is a work from home internship because of the pandemic.

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Update: I sent an email to HR and got a response! I was told that since I am in a non-client facing role that my hair is a non-issue. The representative even reassured me about my roots growing in saying she understood that as a college student it could be hard to always have money available for constant maintenance.

Finally I was told that the state of my hair should have no bearing on my consideration for the internship as it goes against company values. I was reassured that many people there had colored hair, so I wasn't a rare occurrence!.

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Update 2: I also think it is important to point out that I'd be completely willing to apologize if it turned out I was in the wrong after a clarification by hr. I think an important part of professionalism is apologizing for a mistake and taking actions to correct it. So here is an alternative sequence of events.

Contacted by hiring manager > I reach out to hr > hr clarifies expectations > I email hr back with an apology and a plan to correct behavior > I reach out to my team and apologize to them and explain my dedication to correct the behavior > the issue does not occur again with careful consideration > hopefully everything is all good and I can rest assured I corrected the behavior as professionally as possible.

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I also want to point out that I probably should have emailed hr ahead of time and asked before it got to this point. (Thank you for the insight commenter!) I am a young professional, hence being an intern! Part of being a young professional is making blunders and correcting them!

I will be reading comments for a little while longer, for advice on professionalism! But I also believe that a big part of professionalism is to learn your lesson and move on. I can't change the past but I can do better in the future! Thank you everyone!

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This hair-raising dispute highlights the tension between personal expression and workplace norms. The intern’s decision to wear a wig was a pragmatic move to align with perceived professional standards, but the hiring manager’s reaction suggests outdated biases about appearance, especially in a non-client-facing remote role.

Dr. Derald Wing Sue, a psychology professor, notes in Microaggressions in Everyday Life found that 68% of young professionals feel pressure to conform to traditional appearance standards, despite shifting workplace cultures. The intern’s pastel hair, faded or not, poses no threat to her work quality.

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The hiring manager’s accusation of “lying” oversteps, as wigs are common for various reasons—medical, cultural, or stylistic. The intern’s proactive outreach to HR and willingness to apologize show maturity. Companies should clarify dress codes early, especially for remote roles, to avoid such conflicts. For young professionals, transparency with supervisors about personal style can prevent misunderstandings while fostering inclusive environments.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

The Reddit crowd jumped in with a mix of sass and support, tossing out opinions like confetti at a virtual happy hour. They dissected the hiring manager’s meltdown and the intern’s wig-wearing strategy with equal gusto.

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whitewer − Nta, if there isn't a company policy against it, they just don't like people who dye their hair, wonder how many people they've lost dye to that person's view

[Reddit User] − NTA. I emailed back telling them that I was completely willing to wear the wig everyday, but they told me that I would make them look like a 'hard ass.' Well, then maybe that should be a sign to them that they need to quit trying to throw their weight around over a non-problem.

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I can't say I think it was a *great* strategy to not either go to the interview with your hair the way you wanted it and cross any companies who had a problem with that off your list, or go back to something more natural if you were concerned about it being a problem and clarify company policy *after* you got hired, but if your boss is okay with it, then that's all that matters.

SnooGuavas4531 − NTA for having dyed hair but if you’re going to have dyed hair, you need to keep it up. Otherwise it looks unprofessional. Hair with faded color and showing roots just looks bad. So if you’re not going to do pastel hair anymore, dye it your normal color and let it grow out.

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DGentPR − NTA that sounds like discriminatory hiring practices to me. Perhaps not by legal definition I’m not even sure but you don’t need a place of employment like that

slydog4100 − NTA. Unless there is an actual company policy forbidding colored hair there really should be no issue here. The color or style of your hair has no impact what so ever on your ability to do the work you were hired for.

The wig, it sounds like, actually does. The hiring manager wanting you to not make her look bad speaks far more about her than it does you. Express yourself freely and be comfortable. She can squirm in the discomfort of her own creation

JeepersCreepers74 − NTA. I do think it's kind of weird you wore a wig to the interview; if you're confident colored hair is no problem on the job, you should have just gone looking like yourself. But it's not like you ripped it off one day and were like 'surprise!'--

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the issue came out gradually and you actually got your coworkers' permission to stop wearing the wig. The hiring manager is TA for the mixed signals--she's unwilling to accept your offer to continue wearing the wig, but wants to be mad at you anyway.

sammotico − NTA forward these emails to your ACTUAL supervisor and cc your hiring manager on this to 'double check' the policy and if it's an issue for him and impacting the work you're doing. bcc HR for good measure too

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Bittersweet1296 − NTA, wtf in the first place? So would she be upset if you came in as a blonde for the interview but brunette during the internship? Seems very outdated perspective on colored hair and if your boss is okay with it and no company policy saying you can't have it, id leave her to her unhappiness.

Psychological-Sky-35 − NTA, they may not want to look like a hardass but they are. If it's not against the dress code they had no reason to even bring it up to you, nor were you lying by wearing a wig. There is no reason for the hiring manager to even contact you at all after you've been hired, unless they do something else in the business that makes them your boss, that was unprofessional.

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joug_dudy − NTA. What if someone had alopecia or had cancer, and wore a wig? Is that technically “lying” because they’re hiding their lack of hair?

These Redditors rallied behind the intern, calling out the hiring manager’s overreach while offering tips on professionalism. Some questioned the wig choice, but most saw it as a harmless workaround. Do their hot takes capture the full picture, or are they just adding fuel to the fire?

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This intern’s colorful conundrum reveals how workplace norms can clash with personal expression, especially in virtual settings. Her team’s support and HR’s clarity smoothed things over, but the hiring manager’s reaction raises questions about fairness and flexibility. As workplaces evolve, where do we draw the line on appearance? Have you faced judgment for your style at work? Share your experiences—what would you do in this intern’s shoes?

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