AITA For not deleting or moving photos of my daughter from my phone?

A 25-year-old father, whose daughter spent four months in the NICU in 2020, is clashing with his 20-year-old girlfriend over photos of his daughter that include his ex-wife. These images, from a harrowing time, are deeply meaningful, but his girlfriend finds them “not normal” and demands he delete or hide them off his phone. Refusing to erase his daughter’s memories, he’s now questioning if he’s wrong, especially as his girlfriend’s jealousy escalates.

Was the father’s refusal to delete his daughter’s photos a fair stand for his priorities, or an insensitive dismissal of his girlfriend’s feelings? The online community firmly backs him, slamming his girlfriend’s immaturity and urging him to reconsider the relationship. Let’s unpack this emotional drama and decide who’s really in the wrong.

‘AITA For not deleting or moving photos of my daughter from my phone?’

OP’s daughter was born prematurely in 2020 and spent four months in the NICU:

In 2020 I(M25) had my second daughter extremely early with my now ex-wife. My baby was in the NICU for four months, and it was very touch and go for...

His girlfriend is upset and wants the photos deleted or hidden:

My current girlfriend(F20) is currently very upset that I still have pictures of my ex-wife, and says that even though they photos of my daughter from a very scary point...

She wants me to delete them all, but said she would be happy with me hiding them away on my computer or someplace I can’t look at them every day....

The father’s refusal to delete his daughter’s NICU photos is a valid prioritization of his child’s history. These images capture a critical period, and as Dr. Laura Markham notes, “Preserving memories of a child’s early struggles fosters their sense of resilience” (Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids).

The girlfriend’s demand reflects insecurity and immaturity, inappropriate for a partner of a parent. Dr. John Gottman emphasizes, “Partners must accept a co-parent’s past to build a healthy relationship” (The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work). Her jealousy over photos is a red flag.

Deleting or hiding the photos risks erasing a formative part of the daughter’s story. Family therapist Dr. Harriet Lerner advises, “Parents should prioritize their child’s emotional needs over a partner’s discomfort” (The Dance of Connection). The father’s stance protects his daughter’s legacy.

He could tell his girlfriend, “These photos are about my daughter’s survival, not my ex. I need you to respect that.” Backing up the photos to a cloud (e.g., Google Drive) ensures their safety. If her controlling behavior persists, reevaluating the relationship may be wise.

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Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

The online community unanimously supported OP, praising his commitment to his daughter, criticizing the girlfriend’s immaturity, and urging him to back up the photos and reassess the relationship.

Supporting OP, Prioritizing Daughter:

SnipesCC − NTA. Absolutely don't delete the pictures. Not just because you want them, but because your daughter may want them in the future... You may want to put them...

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queenwithouthecrown − NTA. The fact someone would ask a parent to remove photos of their NICU baby from their phone is a huge red flag. Who cares that your ex...

NobleCorgi − NTA. Your child is always the priority. Thus your ex wife is part of your life to some extent. That is something your partner needs to accept or...

Objective-Bend-6958 − NTA that’s your daughter and the mother of your child. Keep the pictures, get rid of the girlfriend.

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Criticizing Girlfriend’s Immaturity:

IamAustinCG − NTA. How does a 20-year-old, know whats normal about family photos?

mdthomas − Oh boy. Your gf is immature. Even if she's your ex, you still have a connection with this woman because you have had a child together. NTA.

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finkplamingoes − NTA. Your new gf sound controlling and extremely immature. Keep the pix, reconsider the gf.

Muted_sounds − NTA. She’s not even 21. Don’t let her be making life decisions for you.

carwash7 − NTA. It sounds like she’s not ready to be in a relationship with someone who has a child.

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Honest_Elk_1703 − NTA. Your girlfriend is immature.

Careful_Swan3830 − “I’m dating someone who’s barely out of her teens and she’s being immature! The nerve!” What did you expect? NTA I guess in this situation but you set...

Highlighting Jealousy as a Red Flag:

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AlexFairchild − NTA imagine being jealous of a woman holding her vulnerable newborn baby in a life threatening situation.

SnipesCC − This is an unreasonable amount of jealousy, and is a decent reason to look hard at your current relationship. Has she shown other super controlling behaviors?

Objective-Bend-6958 − If she’s insecure over photos now, will she continue to be insecure about your relationship with your child and their mother?

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Urging Photo Backups:

Fun_Positive_3722 − NTA. But PLEASE keep at least a 2 layer password on your phone. I can see them being deleted ACCIDENTALLY...

SnipesCC − You may want to put them on a cloud backup. Not because your GF wants them off your phone, but in case your phone is lost or damaged.

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FormPale5936 − Back-up of the pictures not now but already yesterday! And more than one back-up.

Noting Relationship Dynamics:

Ladyughsalot1 − …sorry you’ve had a baby in 2020, got divorced, and you’re dating, by 2022 And she’s 20 NTA I suppose but this is all a bit immature and...

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This photo dispute highlights a father’s unwavering commitment to his daughter’s NICU memories against his girlfriend’s immature jealousy. OP’s refusal to delete or hide these precious images is a justified stand for his child’s history, backed by the community’s outrage at his girlfriend’s controlling demand.

He should back up the photos securely and address her insecurity directly, potentially reevaluating the relationship if it persists. Do you think OP was right to keep the photos on his phone, or should he have compromised? How would you handle this jealous girlfriend? Share your thoughts below!

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