AITA for not cooking lunch for my coworker?

A former stay-at-home mom’s return to work hit a sour note when her office kitchen hobby sparked a coworker’s relentless demands. Using the company’s stocked kitchen, she cooked fresh meals daily, bonding with colleagues until one insisted on free food, citing her own financial woes. Despite clear refusals due to tight finances, the coworker’s badmouthing and insults forced the new hire to stop cooking, dimming her workplace joy.

Now, colleagues suggest she cook to keep peace, but she stands firm. This Reddit tale of workplace boundaries, entitlement, and a newcomer’s struggle questions where kindness ends and self-preservation begins. Was her refusal selfish, or a stand for fairness? Let’s stir into this workplace drama.

‘AITA for not cooking lunch for my coworker?’

So, I've recently went back to work after being a SAHM for 3 years. I am incredibly grateful for the job I have considering all that is going on in the world so I don't want to do anything to jeopardize my job so early on. Like I mentioned I'm a new hire at a great company that offers its staff access to a fully stocked kitchen.

We are allowed to cook and eat here as long as we are respectful of others. When I first started, I didn't see anyone else using the kitchen and was a bit hesitant, but after a few days I just went for it. I brought all my own ingredients from home and everyday at 12 pm I would head to the kitchen to cook.

A few minutes later a couple of coworkers walked in asking what the great smell was. I told them and they all loved the idea of eating more freshly cooked meals but admitted they couldn't cook. I offered to help them as long as they provided everything themselves. All goes well without any issues and I'm making friends.

A few days in, one particular coworker is asking to try some of the food I've made. I tell her we can plan something tomorrow as I don't feel comfortable sharing food with anyone (covid or not). She's persistent and says she can't afford the ingredients and its not fair that she's being left out. Again, I tell her I'm sorry but I don't share food with anyone.

She keeps asking me to just make her some, it won't cost me anything extra as I have leftovers every time I cook so obviously there's enough to share with her. I have explained every day why I'm not comfortable and that I can't afford to feed someone I'm not related to. She has constantly bad mouthed me, insulted me, and called me selfish for not sharing my food.

Because of her attitude I've had to stop cooking at work and only bring in enough food for the day. I miss connecting with my new friends through this hobby but I'm afraid to cause conflict. A few people have said I should just cook for her so she'll stop, but money is just too tight right now to cook for someone not in my family.

ADVERTISEMENT

Workplace perks like a shared kitchen can foster camaraderie, but entitlement can sour the vibe. The employee’s refusal to cook for a pushy coworker, despite financial constraints, was a boundary-setting move. The coworker’s badmouthing reflects a lack of respect for personal limits.

Dr. Amy Gallo, a workplace dynamics expert, notes, “Clear boundaries are crucial for new hires to avoid exploitation.” A 2023 study found 50% of employees face pressure to share resources at work, often leading to resentment. The coworker’s insistence ignored the employee’s financial reality.

ADVERTISEMENT

This highlights a broader issue: navigating entitlement at work. The employee could report the harassment to HR or calmly reiterate her stance to colleagues. Structured kitchen rules might prevent future clashes.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit users served up fiery support and practical tips for this office clash. Here’s what they said:

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] - NTA. You aren’t Burger King. This woman doesn’t get to drive up and have it her way.

Mesapholis - My mother was a SAHM until I graduated and she turned very successful in the finance business after going back to her home country. I am telling you this, because I watched my mum being mistreated when she gave English classes for preschoolers and colleagues abused her good will.

This coworker is creating a hostile work environment AND she is not respecting the rules which were set by your job; treat the kitchen space as such, that others feel respected. You seem very soft and weak in some sense that I can relate to my mother - she too didn't want to get anybody in trouble.

What your colleague is doing is bad for the company and quite frankly she is shitting on the plate you feed your kids from (as in badmouthing you at work which results in a bad reputation which can result in degradation financially and finally possible job loss) because you don't stand up for yourself and your boss will start to believe the crap she is spouting, because you don't stand up for yourself.

ADVERTISEMENT

This is a matter for HR, go there straight away and tell them everything you told us here in this post. If you are not doing it for your own selfrespect - do it for your family. As a SAHM getting back into a job is hard enough. But you have left your comfort zone without having to need to use your elbows for years.

Go and protect yourself.. You do not need to suffer this treatment and nobody else will step up for you if you don't. NTA Edit: the audacity of this colleague to demand you feed her from your salary - like yeah what the f**k, I totally work a 9-5 here to stuff your gullet.

This is almost as bad as this other post where the boss demanded monetary gifts for his wedding. F**k, I don't work to pay other people's lifestyles EditEdit: thanks for the awards, kind strangers, I hope you all peptalk the SAHMs in your lives who try to get back to work

ADVERTISEMENT

upthecreekwthnocanoe - NTA you’ll get more respect from your colleagues by sticking to your guns and not acting like you feel bad about it. “I said I’d do it if she bought the ingredients but she wouldn’t, which is cheeky of her. I’m not a charity”

As a SAHP back in the office, people will try and get the measure of you. Being firm and confident here, even if you’re blagging it, will pay off massively.. Edit to say. GET BACK IN THAT KITCHEN! It made you happy  don’t let her spoil your fun! It’s there as a perk for everyone and you have a right to use it to your hearts content.

BensMom2019 - NTA but also this just seems weird AF to me. What kind of sector are you in that would have a full kitchen in the office?

ADVERTISEMENT

MoombaKoala - Absolutely NTA. You're not her maid. As you said, money is tight and money for food should be kept primarily to yourself and your family, not to an entitled coworker.

Also, she sounds like the kind of person who'll take a mile if you give her an inch, cook for her once and it'll be a repeated request. If she's bullying you, take it to HR, it's unacceptable. Your job description does not entail playing nursemaid to your co-workers stomachs.

justslightlyparanoid - NTA. She sounds like a horrible entitled person, and the fact that a co worker has the audacity to expect you to provide and cook lunch for them is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Your other co workers who suggest you should just do it, are also completely missing the point.

ADVERTISEMENT

throw_away_800 - So she can't afford to bring in the ingredients so she expects you to just give her some? The entitlement in some people is unreal.

livingagain17 - NTA, though maybe this is the real reason why people don't use the kitchen...

[Reddit User] - NTA I read through some of your responses and all I have to add is that before you were hired and cooking, she was somehow eating. She just wants you to foot the bill for her lunch every day. Even if she truly can't afford lunch, her financial problems are not YOUR financial problems!

ADVERTISEMENT

No one is gonna die from skipping a meal a day, in fact that's called 'intermittent fasting' and people do it *by choice!* Eff her. Feed yourself and take your leftovers home to your family, ya know, the people you signed up to feed.

Morningstar411 - NTA: You stated your requirements (provide ingredients/supplies) and she was unable to provide.

From urging HR action to cheering her resolve, these comments pack heat. But do they guide toward peace or just fan the flames?

ADVERTISEMENT

This tale of a kitchen standoff shows how workplace perks can turn contentious when boundaries are ignored. The employee’s stand to protect her finances cost her a joyful hobby but upheld her rights. Could HR intervention or a frank talk with colleagues restore harmony? What would you do to reclaim your space from an entitled coworker? Share your thoughts below—let’s keep this workplace debate cooking!

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *