AITA for not contributing to my daughter’s wedding?

A father’s heart aches as his daughter, now 29 and engaged, asks for wedding funds—without inviting him to the ceremony. This 55-year-old dad faces a tough call: support her dream day or stand firm against feeling like an ATM. Their bond, once tight, frayed after his infidelity led to a messy divorce. His daughter’s resentment lingers, and despite his efforts to stay connected, she’s kept him at arm’s length. Now, her request for cash stirs old wounds and new frustrations.

Beyond the money, the complex layers of family, forgiveness and expectations. What happens when love and resentment collide over a wedding? The point is, he is not only struggling with his wallet but also deciding whether to keep her in his will. The story, posted on a social media post, has sparked a heated debate about duty and separation.

‘AITA for not contributing to my daughter’s wedding?’

Family ties can be complicated, especially when past mistakes cast long shadows.

I (55M) have a daughter (29F) who is getting married next year. I was an involved dad when she was young and we were close. But when she was in...

My daughter didn’t accept the divorce well. What she didn’t and still doesn’t understand is while her mother might be the best mother in her eyes, my ex wasn’t the...

Some decisions haunt us, and this father’s choices reshaped his family forever.

I’m not saying what I did was right and I’m not trying to wiggle out of accepting responsibility for my decision to cheat. If I had a chance to do...

Even when doors seem closed, this dad kept trying to reach out.

I tried my best to stay in my daughter’s life but since she was old enough to decide, court couldn’t enforce visitation. I paid child support and extra on top...

A wedding should bring joy, but this request feels like a transaction.

Now, last catch up she tells me she’s getting married. I know of him but I’ve never been introduced to her fiancé. I won’t receive an invite to her wedding....

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But I’m sick of being her wallet. I told her I would think about it and she said I suck as a dad if I don’t support her. AITA for...

When a daughter demands dowry but refuses to let her father attend the wedding, it is a recipe for heartbreak and difficult choices. The situation is a clash of unresolved hurts, expectations, and rifts in family relationships.

The father’s infidelity and the subsequent divorce clearly left deep scars. His daughter’s refusal to invite him suggests lingering resentment, while her request for money feels transactional. From a psychological perspective, this dynamic reflects “parental alienation,” where a child distances themselves from a parent due to past conflicts. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Unresolved conflict in families can perpetuate cycles of mistrust and disconnection” (Gottman Institute, 2020). The daughter’s behavior may stem from hurt, but her approach risks further alienating her father.

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At the same time, the father’s frustration is understandable. He’s tried to maintain contact and fulfill financial duties, yet feels reduced to a “wallet.” Beyond that, his consideration of cutting her from his will signals a deeper desire to protect his emotional boundaries. Society often expects parents to give endlessly, but this overlooks the complexity of human relationships, where forgiveness is a two-way street.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Social media lit up with reactions, from fiery takes to thoughtful insights, as users weighed in on this father-daughter drama.

These commenters rally behind the father, seeing the daughter’s request as entitled and unfair. They argue that funding a wedding you’re not invited to crosses a line, especially given the strained relationship.

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[Reddit User] − I’m gonna try to just focus on the conflict at hand when judging you and not so much about what lead to your divorce otherwise this might...

While your actions have been as s__tty as you claim your ex wife’s to have been, if not more, I don’t see why anyone should fork up money to a...

Tessa_Kamoda − I was involved in her life **as much as she would let me**. I **know of him** but I’ve **never been introduced** to her fiancé. I **won’t receive...

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Trevena_Ice − NTA. She only sees you as her wallet, yes. She wants money but you don't get an invetation. Forget it. Say her, you tried to reach out and...

You wish her all the best for her wedding, her new partner and the new chapter in her live, but you won't be in it, if she doesn't want you...

Agreeable-Book-7018 − NTA. She wants you to fund a wedding that you can't attend. While you were wrong to cheat on her mom you owned your mistake. You don't owe...

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Proof-Butterscotch17 − It honestly aggravates the life out of me when people decide to get married but expect other people to pay for it or contribute to it. If you...

On another note NTA she can't expect you to put your hand in your pocket and help her pay for her wedding when by the sounds of it she wants...

This commenter pauses to ask for more context, showing a cautious approach to judging the situation.

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greeneyedwench − INFO: Did she *say* you wouldn't be invited, or is that an assumption?

Elegant_Panic7858 − NTA. Since you're not invited why would you pay??

These users offer reflective takes, acknowledging the father’s mistakes while urging both sides to consider reconciliation or closure.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Sounds like your relationship with her is already destroyed, all that's left is that she likes access to your wallet so she'll try to guilt you...

Whether you contribute to her wedding or not will not change this, she'll take it with at best a "Thank you" and she'll go back to not having you in...

I do blame her for saying that you "suck as a dad if \[you\] don’t support her. " That's just trying to take advantage of you, it's empty manipulation implying...

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underratedspooks − NTA it's unreasonable of her to expect you to fund a wedding that you aren't invited to. It was wrong of you to cheat and explains your lack...

Tiffany_Case − The thing is that s__t happens and sometimes we make bad choices while its happening. Nobody is obligated to forgive us for our bad choices. That said, if...

you cannot expect them to treat you as if you have. You cannot make someone pay for a mistake forever (well, i guess you can, but that makes you the...

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Part of being an adult is realising that your parents are in fact actually just people and that people are complex and therefore someone who has been nothing but good...

i think you should try for one more conversation with your daughter and if it doesnt result in anything that looks like it could lead to reconciliation send her like...

The social media crowd leans heavily toward supporting the father, calling out the daughter’s request as unfair, though some urge deeper reflection on both sides.

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This father-daughter saga reveals the raw edges of family bonds tested by past betrayals and present expectations. The father’s infidelity set the stage for years of distance, yet his efforts to stay involved clash with his daughter’s selective engagement—only reaching out for money. While the daughter’s hurt is valid, her wedding request without an invitation feels like a one-sided demand. The community’s reactions highlight a broader question: where do we draw the line between familial duty and personal boundaries?

Have you ever faced a tough family decision where money and emotions collided? How would you handle being asked to fund an event you’re excluded from?

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