AITA for not celebrating my parents having a baby or even feeling happy for them?
A 17-year-old boy has always felt like a burden to his parents, who had him at 21 and openly wished they’d been older. While they provided basics, he never felt loved or wanted — more like a chore. His parents spent years trying for another baby, talking constantly about wanting “a child” and “to be parents,” as if he didn’t exist.
His granddad was the only one who truly saw him, defended him, and made him feel valued. After 10 years of fertility struggles, his mom is pregnant — and the entire family celebrated like it was their “first” child. Parties were thrown, everyone cheered that they were “finally” parents. The boy didn’t celebrate or act happy, and when granddad spoke up about how hurtful it was to erase him, the family attacked both of them. Is he wrong for not feeling joy and for not pretending otherwise?
‘AITA for not celebrating my parents having a baby or even feeling happy for them?’
His parents had him young and always seemed to regret it:
They tried for years to have another baby:
Now the baby is coming:
Granddad defended him:
This is a heartbreaking case of emotional neglect and invalidation. The parents’ constant talk of wanting “a child” and “to be parents” — while having a living son — sent a clear message that he wasn’t fully wanted. Their celebration of the new baby as their “first” reinforces that pain, erasing his existence.
From the family’s perspective, they may see the pregnancy as a long-awaited joy after years of struggle. But experts like therapist Dr. Lindsay C. Gibson (author of Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents) explain: “When parents prioritize their own needs or fantasies over acknowledging their child’s existence and feelings, it creates profound wounds of invisibility.” The boy’s lack of joy is a natural response to years of feeling like an afterthought.
Practical advice: You’re not wrong for protecting your emotions — you don’t owe fake happiness. Lean on your granddad and consider therapy to process this pain. As you approach adulthood, plan your independence: college, jobs, or living with supportive family. You deserve to feel seen and valued. Your parents’ choices are theirs — your healing is yours.
Check out how the community responded:
The Reddit community overwhelmingly supported the boy, calling him NTA and labeling his parents and extended family as cruel and emotionally immature:
Most people expressed heartbreak for him, praised his granddad as a hero, and urged him to prepare to go low/no contact:
This story is profoundly sad: a boy who’s been emotionally erased his whole life is now expected to celebrate being replaced. You’re not wrong for feeling hurt — your feelings are valid. Your granddad is a true hero for seeing and protecting you. The family’s reaction shows how deep the invalidation runs.
What do you think? Have you ever felt like the “unwanted” child in your family? How would you handle this situation? Share your thoughts in the comments.
