AITA for not catering to picky eaters at my wedding?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Picture a glowing couple, savoring succulent lamb chops and creamy mushroom risotto at their caterer’s tasting, their wedding day dreams taking shape. This fall, their big day promises love, laughter, and a feast to remember. But the bride’s mother, ever the traditionalist, throws a wrench in the works, demanding a menu swap because her relatives dislike lamb. The bride’s sister chimes in, decrying mushrooms and “baby animals.” With a tight budget and a groom set on his favorite dishes, the couple digs in their heels, determined to keep their menu.

The clash feels like a family dinner gone wrong, with the bride caught between her vision and her family’s picky palates. After bending on her dress and color scheme, she’s clinging to control over the food—the one piece of the wedding that sparks joy for her and her fiancé. Is standing firm selfish, or is it their right to savor their day, their way?

‘AITA for not catering to picky eaters at my wedding?’

So my mom tends to be very opinionated, and unsurprisingly she has a lot of things to say about my wedding next fall. She's very traditional and likes things to be done a certain way. I've already compromised on a lot to make her happy. She didn't like the style of the wedding dress I originally wanted, so I went with my second choice.

She thought our color scheme clashed too much, so I changed one of the colors to something more neutral. Our caterer offers two choices of meals in their standard wedding package, and we decided to do one meat option and one vegetarian option because some of our friends are vegetarian.

If we splurge for a third meal choice it's going to cost us nearly $1,500 more. We're paying for the wedding ourselves and really trying to stay under budget, so we have to stick to two meals. We sampled a bunch of different entrees during our tasting, and the two dishes we liked the most were the lamb chops and the mushroom risotto. Seriously, it was some of the best food we've ever eaten. It completely blew us away.

When I told my mom we had selected our menu, she immediately said 'your aunt X and uncle Y don't like lamb' and tried to get us to swap it out with a more traditional choice like chicken or beef. Apparently my sister's upset too, because she just texted me to tell me she though it was cruel to serve baby animals (she eats meat, for the record, so I don't understand why this is suddenly an issue).

I pointed out that we were also having risotto and she texted back 'but I hate mushrooms.' Like, can't she just pick them off? I don't get it! Honestly, I've changed so many things about this wedding to try to appease other people,

and the food is basically the one thing left that I have any control over. It's also one of the few aspects of the wedding my fiancé cares strongly about, and he really wants to have the lamb chops. I feel like we should be able to serve the food we want at our own wedding.

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Weddings are a delicious mix of love and logistics, but when family starts nitpicking the menu, it’s like they’re seasoning your joy with salt. This couple’s menu picks—lamb chops and mushroom risotto—are bold, but their family’s pushback is bolder. Let’s chew on this with a sprinkle of sass and expert insight.

The couple’s choice reflects their taste, but lamb and mushrooms aren’t crowd-pleasers. A 2022 The Knot survey found 78% of wedding guests prefer familiar dishes like chicken or beef, with only 15% favoring lamb (The Knot). The bride’s mom and sister aren’t outliers—many guests might skip these dishes, leaving plates untouched. The bride’s frustration, though, is valid; she’s already compromised on her dress and colors, making the menu her last stand.

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Dr. Linda Sapadin, a psychologist specializing in family dynamics, noted in a 2023 Psychology Today article, “Family conflicts at weddings often stem from clashing expectations about control versus autonomy” (Psychology Today). The mother’s insistence smells like a bid to steer the day, while the sister’s texts feel more like whining than principle. Still, the couple’s stubbornness risks alienating guests, as food is a shared experience at weddings.

This highlights a broader issue: balancing personal vision with guest comfort. Offering only two polarizing dishes could leave folks hungry, but splurging $1,500 for a third option strains their budget. Advice? Check with the caterer about swapping lamb for chicken within the two-option package, or ensure the risotto’s flavors are subtle enough to appeal broadly. The couple should also set boundaries with mom, politely affirming their menu as non-negotiable. This keeps their day special while ensuring guests don’t leave starving.

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These are the responses from Reddit users:

The Reddit crowd dished out opinions like a potluck, with some spicy takes and a few mild burns. Here’s the unfiltered scoop, served hot from the thread:

proteins911 − NTA... but if you’re only offering 2 options then I don’t really think they should be uncommon things that many people won’t eat.

Beedz74 − You can't 'just pick the mushrooms out' of mushroom risotto. Lmao

Akinto6 − A very mild YTA, kind of.... I totally think that the couple should decide on the menu and have food that they love, but I feel like you're using the menu to get back at your mother for having to compromise on other things.

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This is a horrible standpoint to take because nobody will care about your wedding dress or the color scheme, but they will remember that they didn't like the food and left the wedding hungry. You only have two options for the entrees and I personally love both, but they're very out there, a lot of people don't eat lamb and hate mushrooms. You're honestly setting yourself up for failure.

For our wedding my husband and I asked every guest for their allergies and what food they genuinely didn't like, we prefaced this by saying that we'll 100% take into account allergies but food preference is something that we'll try to take into account, but they may be served something they don't like.

In the end we had a single option for the entree (Duck b**ast with a chocolate and pepper sauce) while the vegetarians and people with allergies got something else. Imho the menu should be the only thing that you should compromise on and actually cater to your guests. Everything else should be yours to decide and not give a f**k about what your family thinks.

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Edit: A lot of people are saying duck more out there than lamb. I agree and I wouldn't force people to eat it without checking with your guests. But for our guests it was a safe choice that everybody eats while still being adventurous.. It's about finding the balance between your vision and what your guests will actually eat.

AppellofmyEye − Mild YTA- when you are paying for food for that many people, don’t you want them to enjoy it? I know a lot of people who won’t eat lamb (too gamey) and some who don’t eat red meat for health reasons. Do it if you’d like, and it won’t kill them to order vegetarian, but it’s not very thoughtful to your guests. If you want to save money with only one me option, you should go with chicken.

teke367 − INFO You mention 3 people who wouldn't like the lamb, in general, do you know if that's it, or would there be many people who don't like it. This part of the wedding really is for your guests. There's even a stereotype that the married couple doesn't even get to eat at their wedding (though every wedding including my own they did). If it's just 3 people, you're fine. If it's going to be a large percentage of people, then it's different.

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You don't need to worry about pleasing *everybody*, just 'most people'. If most of your guests won't like anything, then it would be courteous to pick something else. Also depends on how many people would eat the other dish. Overall, one dish you select should have 'mass appeal' at least.

little_maggots − Hmmmmm. I'm a picky eater and I was totally ready to say not the a**hole or no assholes here, but I think I actually have to go with a mild YTA. Picky eaters are used to not liking stuff, and I personally HATE when people try to cater to me, because it's my problem, not theirs. I'm fine just getting McDonald's before or after. I don't care.

But. You're picking LAMB and MUSHROOM. These aren't just foods picky eaters won't touch. These are polarizing foods a LOT of people won't touch. Yeah, it's your wedding, do what you want. But be prepared to spend a lot of money on food that's getting wasted and a lot of people being cranky about having to eat before or after because they didn't want either choice.

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You should really compromise on at least one of the two choices, or spring for a third choice. And no, mushrooms generally aren't something you can just 'pick out.' They tend to fall apart easily and the flavor seeps into the dish. You can't just remove them.

Bobalery − Mild YTA. There are a lot of people who don’t eat lamb or mushrooms, your family isn’t unique in that regard. At least one of these options should have been chosen with pleasing the most people in mind. I feel like you’ve gotten to this point because you’ve spent all of the energy you had set aside for compromise on things that you shouldn’t have compromised on.

You shouldn’t have compromised on a dress since you’re the one wearing it and unless it’s somehow offensive in some way then it affects no one else but you. You shouldn’t have compromised on colours because literally no one cares about a wedding’s colours but the couple getting married.

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I have never walked in to a wedding and thought “uh, they chose purple? Well this night is ruined.” But you gave in on things that don’t matter to the guests who attend your wedding, and now are trying to put your foot down on something that does affect them. I never remember a wedding’s colour scheme.

I barely remember a bride’s wedding dress, only whether she seemed to feel happy and beautiful in it. I ALWAYS remember the dinner I was served. FTR, it pained me to write this, because I actually think that both of those options sound effing delicious. I would have a hard time picking between them.

rocketscientess − Ask your caterer if you can have eg chicken and lamb as options in your 2-option package and an unlisted veggie option for only those who are vegetarian? My caterer let me do that but YMMV.

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verascity − ESH. Your mom is being rude and pushy, but you should have pushed back on other things, not waited for this one. You absolutely should have food you want, of course (and* I* also love both lamb and mushroom risotto) but you'd be better off picking something more 'people pleasing.' If a lot of your guests aren't up for those two meals, it's not nice to alienate them.

danceofthecucumber − I’ll say NTA however- I am not a fan of either of those foods. I would not make a fuss as a guest, because of course it’s your day and your food, but I wouldn’t eat my portion. If you’re paying $$$ for your guests to eat, won’t it be horrible seeing so much go to waste if people don’t like it? I know having chicken can seem like the boring option, but it’s fairly universally liked

Redditors split the table, some cheering the couple’s right to choose, others calling them out for picking dishes that might leave guests hungry. The “you can’t pick mushrooms out of risotto” quip got laughs, but the real talk focused on balancing personal taste with guest needs. Are these takes spot-on, or just stirring the pot?

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This wedding menu saga is a tasty reminder that love doesn’t always mean agreement. The couple’s dream dishes clashed with family pickiness, turning their budget-friendly feast into a battleground. It’s their day, but food’s a big deal for guests too. How would you balance your dream wedding menu with pleasing a crowd of picky eaters? Share your thoughts below—let’s cook up some ideas for this culinary conundrum!

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