AITA for not caring when my friend came out of the closet?
Imagine a bustling school cafeteria, where the clatter of trays and laughter fills the air, until a friend’s bold coming-out moment stops the card game cold. Expecting cheers, he gets a casual “we don’t care” from his buddy, and the vibe sours fast. This Reddit tale captures a teen’s blunt honesty clashing with a friend’s need for support, turning a lunch break into a lesson in empathy—or lack thereof.
It’s a story that crackles with the awkwardness of youth and the weight of unspoken expectations. The OP thought his shrug was acceptance, but his friend’s hurt and a swift kick from another pal suggest otherwise. With Reddit split on who’s the jerk, this saga invites us to chuckle at the misstep and ponder: how do we show support when it matters most?
‘AITA for not caring when my friend came out of the closet?’
Dismissing a friend’s coming out with “we don’t care” might sound neutral, but it’s a swing and a miss when someone’s baring their soul. The OP’s group saw their friend’s sexuality as an open secret, but his announcement was a bid for affirmation, not apathy. His hurt reaction shows how much the moment meant, even if stereotypes shaped their view.
Coming out remains a big deal. A 2023 Trevor Project survey found 60% of LGBTQ+ youth fear negative reactions when disclosing their identity (source). Dr. Ritch Savin-Williams, a psychologist specializing in youth identity, says, “Coming out is about seeking validation; a dismissive response can feel like rejection” (source). The OP’s “treat him like another girl” remark, while meant playfully, leans on stereotypes that undermine his friend’s identity.
OP’s intent wasn’t malicious, but intent isn’t impact. Dr. Savin-Williams advises, “Acknowledge the courage of coming out with warmth, even if you’re unsurprised.” A simple “I’m happy you shared that” could’ve changed the tone. OP could apologize for his delivery, affirming his friend’s value without excusing stereotypes.
Check out how the community responded:
Reddit dished out a platter of hot takes, from calling out OP’s lack of tact to defending his no-fuss attitude. Some see the friend’s expectations as attention-seeking, while others stress the courage of coming out. Here’s the unfiltered scoop:
![[Reddit User] - I wouldn’t say you’re an a**hole but you could have been slightly more supportive and happy for him. Even if you don’t care. It’s not a very great response to say “I don’t care” or “we already knew.”](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/318403c-01.png)
These Reddit zingers spark debate, but do they cut through the awkwardness or just add to the cafeteria chaos?
This lunchtime clash is a reminder that even well-meaning shrugs can sting when a friend bares their heart. The OP’s casual response missed the mark, but his heart wasn’t cruel—just clueless. Whether you’re Team OP or cheering for more empathy, this story begs us to reflect on showing up for friends in big moments. Have you ever misread a friend’s vulnerability? How would you handle a coming-out moment? Spill your thoughts below!
