AITA for not calling my kids “Elsa” and “Anna”?

In a cozy suburban home, the magic of Frozen has cast a spell stronger than Elsa’s icy powers. A 27-year-old mom finds herself in a frosty standoff with her husband and two little princesses, ages 5 and 3, who demand to be called Elsa and Anna. What started as a playful whim has snowballed into a family feud, with Christmas gatherings looming like an Arendelle blizzard.

The mother’s frustration simmers as her daughters ignore their real names, egged on by their dad’s enthusiastic compliance. Will this Frozen fever melt away, or is she doomed to be the villain in her own fairy tale? Let’s dive into this chilly drama.

‘AITA for not calling my kids “Elsa” and “Anna”?’

My (F27) husband (M29) and kids (F5 & F3) are big fans of Frozen. I like it but I am not a fan the way they are. A couple of weeks ago, our daughters told my husband that they wished to be called Elsa and Anna and my husband complied. This happened while I was at work so I didn't see it occurring.

Since then, they stopped responding to their real names and only respond to Elsa and Anna. I played along for a bit, but now I am getting fed up, especially since Christmas is coming and we will be seeing family. I have began calling them by their real names but my husband is still calling them Elsa and Anna.

I asked my husband to stop but he is refusing to do so saying that it makes them happy and that they will outgrow it. And that 'just cause I am a woman it does not give me veto rights on how kids are raised'. I told him that he is being irresponsible, and living out his fantasy in having his daughters named Elsa and Anna. (He actually wanted to name our kids Elsa and Anna).

Naming battles can feel like navigating a snowstorm in flip-flops. This mom’s struggle highlights a common parenting clash: balancing whimsy with practicality. The dad’s indulgence in his daughters’ Frozen fantasy, while sweet, risks blurring boundaries, especially with family visits approaching. His comment about veto rights adds a layer of tension, hinting at deeper communication issues.

Dr. Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist, notes, “Play is how kids process their world, but parents must guide them back to reality gently” (Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids). Here, the dad’s refusal to dial back the role-play may stem from his own unfulfilled wish to name his girls Elsa and Anna, projecting his dreams onto their game.

This situation reflects a broader issue: how parents negotiate roles and rules. A 2023 study from the American Psychological Association found 68% of co-parents disagree on discipline styles, often escalating minor issues (APA Study). The mom’s push for real names isn’t just about logistics—it’s about reclaiming shared authority.

Advice: The parents need a united front. A calm discussion, away from the kids, could clarify boundaries. They might agree to limit “Elsa and Anna” to playtime, gently reintroducing real names with positive reinforcement, like personalized gifts. Family therapy could help if tensions persist.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit’s hot takes on this frosty fiasco are as varied as snowflakes. Here’s what the community had to say:

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[Reddit User] − NTA - make sure all their Christmas gifts are to their real names - they’ll grow out of it super quick. “Oh, unfortunately there’s no gifts for Elsa. There are gifts here for Elizabeth and Lydia [Bennet], but not Anna and Elsa. Sorry. I guess we’ll have to take these to the children’s hospital.”. They’ll grow up super quick.

[Reddit User] − (He actually wanted to name our kids Elsa and Anna).. Did everybody miss this?? It changes the whole story.. NTA. At all. Seems your husband is hoping they don't grow out of it.

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RealAsADonut − YTA, I think this is normal kid behavior , my brother and I went through a Mario and Luigi phase.

paracrazy − YTA. I’m a 5th grade teacher and let me tell you, kids like to swap names all the time! It’s funny and harmless. A couple weeks ago, two kids told me on Monday morning that they were swapping names for the week and I went along with it! Their faces when I actually called them what they wanted were priceless and we all had a laugh.

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In my opinion, as long as they actually respond to their “new” name and are being good otherwise, who cares? As for seeing family for Christmas, tell your kids if your extended family wants to call them Anna/Elsa that’s great, but if your family forgets and use their real names they have to respond too.

INB4_Found_The_Vegan − Wait, this was your husband's secret dream names? Well, ouch. This might be a hard one to break.... NTA. Kids are clearly not old enough to change their names, reinforcing this little game for this long and now potentially in front of family is pretty bad.

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But if you put your foot down it sounds like even if Dad agrees he will make you the bad guy. Pretty ridiculous and immature on dad's part here. He needs to get a grip and let the name thing go asap. Good luck OP. :/

havartna − YTA. Your husband is right. They will grow out of it. It’s not unreasonable to set some boundaries, though. They can’t just choose not respond to their actual names. A talk about the difference between real life and make believe is probably in order.

gointhrou − ESH. Your husband is right in that they'll grow out of it and it's not a big deal, but he shouldn't take advantage of it to try to live his fantasies. Plus, that comment he made was really out of place. You, on the other hand, shouldn't be so harsh on the kids. It's just a fantasy.

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I remember I wanted to be called 'Lion King' and told so to my mom and friends. It lasted like two days. Just talk to them and explain that it would be very confusing for the rest of the family and also, that you gave them their names with all your love and it's not right to just change them. But it's okay if they wanna fantasize and play around for a bit.

[Reddit User] − My son did this, we called him by Peter parker and spider man for months. He is a super normal well adjusted child. I think you and your husband need to communicate and get in the same page and find a happy medium. Sometimes things like this snowball into bigger problems. Communication is key!

sralph32 − YTA - It’s annoying, but just a phase. I’d talk to them a couple of times about ignoring you (or anyone else) who called them by their real name, and then punish them for being disrespectful. Get your husband on board by talking about it calmly.

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coffeequeen1738 − YTA - they are small kids and kids love to play pretend. My daughter loves to be called princess names every now and then, sometimes she even asks us to call her ‘mom’ and have my fiancé and I pretend to be her kids.

I’m sure Anna and Elsa are even more fun to play because they’re sisters so close in age. I’m sure if my daughter had a sister she’d make her be the Anna to her Elsa. Give the girls a break and stop being so stuck up. It’s harmless and it makes them happy.

These Reddit gems range from snarky gift-giving schemes to nostalgic tales of childhood name swaps. But do they capture the full picture, or are they just fanning the flames of this family drama?

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This Frozen-fueled saga shows how a sprinkle of fantasy can snowball into a parenting showdown. The mom’s not wrong to want clarity before Grandma’s puzzled at meeting “Elsa,” but the dad’s joy in his kids’ imagination isn’t villainous either. They need to thaw their differences and find a middle ground. What would you do if your kids swapped names for their favorite characters? Share your thoughts below!

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