AITA for not buying my daughter the book she wanted?

Imagine a 12-year-old, buzzing with excitement over Hamilton, her eyes lighting up at the thought of owning Hamilton: The Revolution. Her birthday money’s ready to spend, but her parent steps in, vetoing the purchase because it’s “too expensive” and she’ll “read it too fast.” The girl’s quiet “ok” hides her disappointment, and days of near-silence follow, leaving the parent wondering if they misjudged. This Reddit tale dives into a tug-of-war over a book, a child’s autonomy, and a parent’s good intentions gone astray.

The parent’s push to save their daughter’s money sparks a Reddit firestorm, with users rallying for the young bookworm. Was it wrong to block her purchase, or was the parent just looking out for her? Let’s flip through the pages of this family drama that’s got everyone talking.

‘AITA for not buying my daughter the book she wanted?’

My 12 year old daughter recently got money for her birthday, given by her step mum. She has been talking ALOT about a show called 'Hamilton' recently, So when we where passing a book store, i asked if she wanted anything. She said no, as she didnt really have any books in mind.

So i asked if the show she was talking about (Hamilton) Had a book. She didnt know, so after a bit of research, We went too see if the shop had it. Turns out it didnt, but the woman at front desk said it was being restocked in 3-4 weeks.

I asked my daughter if she was fine with waiting, or wanted a different book as i saw percy jackson on sale and heard it was similar to harry potter. She said she could wait, so i asked how expensive the book was and it was expensive.

if we bought it, it would use up all her birthday money, but she said it was fine. Instead told her to just wait until november, when her aunt was coming back from Britain, But she said she didnt want to wait, and was fine with using her money as she didnt really want to buy anything else.

But to be honest, I wasn't fine with it. Since its so expensive its probably really thick. And i dont wanna spend all her birthday money on a book she'll probably only spend 1 week reading, Because she can read 400 page stories in 3 days time.

After we left the book store i told her this, And she said 'Ok' but hasn't been talking to me much except asking, When meals are ready. i honestly feel like im NOT the a-hole as i just dont want her to waste her birthday money, and besides her aunt can give her the book in a few months as she's a little wealthy and enjoys spoiling the kids in the family.. So, do you people think im in the wrong?

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ETA: i forgot too say we cant watch the play as i currently cant afford disney+. And even if we could, my daughter would still want the book.. ETA: the book is called 'Hamilton the revolution' by Lin Manuel Miranda

This book-buying battle is a classic case of parental oversight clashing with a child’s independence. The parent’s concern about “wasting” birthday money misses the mark—reading isn’t a fleeting expense but a lifelong investment. Dr. Susan Newman, a parenting expert, notes, “Supporting a child’s passion, like reading, fosters confidence and autonomy” (Psychology Today). By overriding their daughter’s choice, the parent undercut her agency, likely causing the emotional withdrawal Reddit noticed.

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The daughter’s obsession with Hamilton and willingness to spend all her money on Hamilton: The Revolution—a detailed companion to the musical, not a quick novel—shows a deep interest worth nurturing. Studies show kids who read for pleasure score 15% higher on academic tests (National Literacy Trust). The parent’s assumption that a “thick” book equals a brief read ignores its potential for repeated enjoyment, as Reddit users pointed out. Suggesting a wait for her aunt feels dismissive when the daughter clearly prioritized the book.

This scenario reflects a broader parenting challenge: balancing guidance with freedom. Dr. Newman suggests involving kids in financial decisions to teach value without control. The parent could’ve discussed budgeting—perhaps splitting the cost or exploring cheaper copies—while honoring her choice. An apology for overriding her decision, paired with a trip to order the book, could rebuild trust. The library, as one Redditor mentioned, is another option if cost remains a barrier. For now, the parent’s veto was a misstep—her money, her choice.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit rolled up like a library book club, dishing out a lively mix of cheers for the daughter and shade for the parent. It’s like a reading circle where everyone’s got a page to turn. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the community:

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[Reddit User] − YTA.. 'Is there anything you want?'. 'I want this.'. 'No.'

Never_Toujours − YTA. It’s a book for god’s sake.

guppytub − YTA. You don't want her to have a thick/pricy book because she'll read it fast? It's not a waste of money if she gets enjoyment out of it.

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Danielmp006 − YTA. I'm going to assume that we are talking about the book Hamilton the revolution? It's the only thing she wants to buy, its her money, its her decision as far as I can see.

INFO: How much is the book, here in the UK you can get it for £10.79, I wouldn't call that expensive for something I really wanted. EDIT: Only putting this on because OP may not see the replies. I will buy your girl the book as a gift from a fellow reader. I might even send her 20, she’s a diamond, let her read!

ruski101 − I wasn't fine with it. Since its so expensive its probably really thick. And i dont wanna spend all her birthday money. You aren't spending her money. SHE is spending HER money. It's either her money, or your money.

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If it's hers, she can spend however she wants. If it's yours, take the money away right now so she doesn't spend it and you can control it (although that would make you AH as well). YTA.. You can't control what other people do with their things. Also, title is super misleading

Many_Fix3167 − The fact that a child wants a book is amazing. You should never shut down the opportunity for your child to READ! YTA for stopping her from buying a book and not letting her choose what to buy with her own money!. edit

MbMinx − You took your daughter to a store, asked her if there was anything she wanted, then you wouldn't let her buy it???. YTA!!! I have books on my shelf today that I bought as a kid, 42 years ago. I still read them from time to time.

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She won't 'spend 3 days reading it'. If she enjoys it, that book could give her a LIFETIME of enjoyment! Not to mention, what kind of AH asks their child what they want only to tell them 'well, you can't have it'?!?!?

snarkisms − YTA. I'm a single working mom and you know the one thing I never scrimp on in my budget? Books for my 9 year old bookworm. I will get her any books she wants because I want her to never ever lose her love of reading.

If she wants a specific title I'll look for it online for cheap if I can't find it in store locally. And I always always get her the books she asks for because her wanting to read will give her more of an advantage than anything else I can give to her.

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ClothesQueasy2828 − YTA. You don't get to decide whether her birthday money is wasted.

rosered936 − INFO: Why is the library not an option?

Redditors slammed the parent for stifling their daughter’s passion, praising her love for reading and offering to buy the book themselves. Some questioned the cost, but most saw the veto as controlling. Do these takes bookmark the full story, or are they just skimming the surface?

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This tale of a blocked book purchase leaves us pondering parenting, autonomy, and the magic of a good story. The parent’s attempt to “save” birthday money dimmed their daughter’s spark, and Reddit’s not letting it slide. Was it wrong to stop her from buying Hamilton: The Revolution, or was the parent just being cautious? What would you do if your kid wanted to spend all their cash on one passion? Share your thoughts—let’s keep this conversation open like a favorite novel.

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