AITA for not babysitting my SILs kids on MY wedding weekend?!?

Picture a serene island town, buzzing with wedding preparations, where a bride-to-be (31F) dreams of her perfect day. But a text from her sister-in-law (SIL) shatters the calm, demanding she babysit two rambunctious toddlers—on her wedding weekend, no less! With a $15,000 tent trailer at stake and a meddling mother-in-law (MIL) piling on the guilt, this bride faces a storm of family drama before she even says “I do.”

This tale of boundary-setting amid wedding chaos hits home for anyone juggling family expectations during life’s big moments. The bride’s refusal to play nanny or risk her trailer sparks a fiery debate: is she standing up for her special day, or being too rigid with family? It’s a juicy saga that invites readers to weigh in on love, loyalty, and limits.

‘AITA for not babysitting my SILs kids on MY wedding weekend?!?’

I (31F) am getting married next month to my partner of ten years (46M). The wedding is in a small island town. We gave everyone twelve months notice so that they could book accommodation. My SIL (43F) lives nine hours away. She has seven children between the ages of 18 months and fifteen years.

We do not see them often as it is difficult to be around them. SIL does not discipline or hold her children accountable, so the majority of them behave poorly. They previously visited us and broke several of our closet bars (hanging from them), ate with their hands, didn't flush toilets...etc.

My FIL who lives in the same town as them will not even go to their house for holidays, as he too cannot handle their behavior. My MIL doesn't understand what the problem is and she is forever over there babysitting and cleaning my SIL's house.

Today, SIL texted me and asked if I would watch the two youngest boys (18 months and 3 years) the day before and the day of my wedding. She booked last minute and could not get a hotel room to accommodate her family of two adults and seven children. (In fact, she couldn't even get a place in the town we are getting married in.

She is staying over an hour away). I felt that it was absurd that she would ask this - so I did not even respond. Her children are her responsibility. Why on earth would I want to take care of her kids on the busiest weekend of my life? We are also in a hotel for the wedding weekend and I have my own children. I had to make arrangements for them so I could spend my wedding night alone with my husband to be.

Soon after I opened the message from SIL and didn't respond, my MIL started lighting up my phone and calling me selfish. She further stated that she would be taking some of my SILs kids and I should too. MIL did not book accommodation and is spending the wedding weekend in our tent trailer which we are towing out there for her.

We agreed that she ALONE could use it but made it clear that we are still making payments on it and nobody else would be allowed to use it. We paid over $15,000 for it when we bought it brand new three years ago, we decide who is allowed in it. She told me that she didn't care, we needed to be more flexible as she needs to care for her grandchildren.

My fiance was at work when this all happened. I am waiting for him to get home so we can discuss it. I acknowledge that family is not easy and mine isn't perfect either but I think his family has some pretty insane expectations. AITA for not watching these kids and for saying they can't stay in my tent trailer because I am afraid they will trash it?...

This wedding weekend drama is a masterclass in entitlement. Weddings are already high-stress, with 78% of couples reporting family conflicts during planning, per a 2023 WeddingWire survey. The SIL’s last-minute babysitting request and the MIL’s push to use the couple’s trailer scream disregard for the bride’s priorities.

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The bride’s frustration is justified. Her SIL’s poorly behaved children—known for breaking closet bars and ignoring basic manners—pose a real risk to her peace and property. The MIL’s guilt-tripping, calling her “selfish,” dismisses the couple’s boundaries, a tactic often used to manipulate, as noted in Family Psychology. The trailer, a significant investment, deserves protection, especially since the MIL agreed to its terms.

Dr. Harriet Lerner, author of The Dance of Anger, says, “Boundaries are a way to take care of ourselves, not a weapon to control others” (Psychology Today). Here, the bride’s refusal protects her wedding experience, not punishes her family. Her SIL should arrange childcare, and the MIL must respect the trailer’s rules.

For a solution, the couple should calmly reiterate their stance: no babysitting, no kids in the trailer. The fiancé can reinforce this with his family, framing it as a united decision. If tensions rise, they might limit contact during the wedding to focus on their joy. Clear communication now sets a precedent for future family dynamics, keeping the celebration stress-free.

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Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The Reddit posse came out swinging, dishing out support with a side of shade for this bridal standoff. Here’s the raw scoop, hot off the virtual press:

Laines_Ecossaises − NTA.. It is your wedding. Being asked to look after anybody else's children is insane. Hopefully your fiance is on the same page as you and can talk some sense into his sister and mother.

GothPenguin − NTA-Expecting someone to watch your children the day before and the literal day of your wedding is next level master class assholery. If I wasn’t so stunned I’d be impressed at the levels your SIL and MIL have reached.

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elythearmadillo − NTA.. Why is this lady and her 7 brats invited anyway? They all sound awful

[Reddit User] − It sounds like SIL needs to stay home from the wedding with her 7 kids. OP, no is a complete sentence. Tell her no. You will not be watching her children. She needs to figure something else out.

Push_the_button_Max − Put the tent trailer away and pay for a hotel room for your MIL,(but then, after you pay for the room fee, have her swipe her credit card for 'extras.') Then she can have the financial responsibility if the little monsters trash the room.. NTA!

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PhuckWitM3 − NTA. And your MIL knows its bonkers to even ask that’s why she was already on the defensive and calling you names when you hadn’t even responded yet. Your SIL’s poor planning is no one’s responsibility but her own. It sounds like she needs to stay home.

FashionBusking − NTA. Don't let MIL use your $15k trailer. Seriously. She's likely to allow these 7 ferals into it and they WILL f**k up your collective s**t.. If it were me, I'd uninvite ALL of them. They're all straight up rude and entitled.

KitCat-2524 − My acting 2 class reads through these (9-12) and we read through a few posts each morning. My entire class is so invested in this and need an update. But we all agree NTA

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thisisridiculous96 − HELL NO. NTA. What are these people smoking that makes them think this is okay??? It's your wedding, why in the world would you spend such a precious time watching some entitled family members kids?? This is you and your partners weekend and if they don't like it they can kick rocks. It seems like you'll be lurking on the justnomil sub soon.

AbbyFB6969 − NTA DO NOT TOW THE TRAILER. If it isn't there, she can't stay in it. There must have been an 'issue' with the guys that were supposed to do it, you could not have predicted THAT, lol.

These Redditors cheered the bride’s backbone, roasting the SIL’s audacity and the MIL’s meddling. Some suggested uninviting the chaos-causing crew or hiding the trailer altogether. But do these spicy takes nail the whole picture, or are they just fanning the wedding flames? One thing’s clear: this family clash has the internet in a tizzy.

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This bride’s saga reminds us that weddings test not just love but boundaries. Her refusal to babysit or risk her trailer isn’t selfish—it’s a stand for her once-in-a-lifetime moment. Family support should lift, not burden, a couple’s big day. As the Reddit crowd rallies behind her, it’s a nudge to prioritize self-care amid chaos. What would you do if family expectations crashed your special moment? Drop your thoughts below!

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