AITA for not babysitting my grandson?

A grandmother who works full-time night shifts reached her breaking point when her 20-year-old daughter, living with her temporarily, left the 2-year-old grandson behind for work despite being told no. Exhausted and fed up with constant babysitting duties, she took the toddler to the police station, claiming he was abandoned.

Hours later, CPS got involved, accusing the daughter of neglect and refusing to return the child immediately. The mom is devastated and blames her mother, while the grandma insists it’s not her job to raise another kid after doing it once already.

‘AITA for not babysitting my grandson?’

The daughter and grandson have been staying with her for months, with the grandma handling most childcare:

The incident happened after overlapping shifts:

She tried contacting her daughter with no luck, then escalated dramatically:

Grandparents often step in to help during tough times, but it’s rarely a long-term obligation. Setting boundaries is healthy, especially when one has their own work and health to manage. However, involving authorities over childcare disputes can traumatize children and permanently damage family ties.

Child welfare expert Dr. Bruce Perry emphasizes: “Early childhood trauma from separation or instability can have lasting effects on brain development and attachment” (source: discussions in “The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog” on child trauma). Dropping a toddler at a police station, even briefly, exposes them to fear and uncertainty far beyond a simple refusal to babysit.

Better options include clear advance warnings, refusing entry if needed, or dropping the child at the parent’s workplace. Escalating to police or CPS should be a true last resort for safety, not frustration. Here, the action risked the grandson entering foster care—a system often overburdened and not ideal for short-term issues.

Both sides share blame: the daughter for ignoring boundaries, the grandma for the extreme response. Repairing this will require apologies, cooperation with CPS, and possibly family counseling to rebuild trust.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The online reaction was overwhelmingly harsh, labeling the grandmother a massive asshole for endangering and traumatizing the child:

A few acknowledged shared fault but still condemned the escalation:

One asked for more info:

Another called out family toxicity:

This explosive family conflict shows how quickly resentment over childcare can spiral into irreversible harm. The grandmother had every right to say no to babysitting, but the choice to involve police risked the toddler’s safety and stability in a way many see as unforgivable.

The community almost unanimously condemned her actions, predicting permanent loss of family ties. Have you ever hit a wall helping adult kids with grandkids? Where do you draw the line between support and enabling—share your thoughts below.