AITA For Not Also Babysitting My Brother’s Friend’s Kids While On Vacation?

Picture a sun-soaked resort, where laughter and splashing kids fill the air, but a 21-year-old woman finds herself dodging an unexpected role: unofficial nanny for a gaggle of children not her own. She agreed to watch her brother’s two kids during a family vacation, a deal sweetened by a fully paid trip. But when other parents start eyeing her as free childcare, her polite refusals spark whispers and glares, turning her getaway into a battle over boundaries.

This Reddit tale is a lively clash of family favors and entitled expectations, where a young woman’s downtime gets hijacked by parental assumptions. Readers might feel her frustration, caught between cultural norms and her right to relax. It’s a juicy story of standing firm against moochers, begging the question: when does helping out cross into being taken advantage of?

‘AITA For Not Also Babysitting My Brother’s Friend’s Kids While On Vacation?’

I(F21) recently went on vacation with my brother(M34), his family, friends and a few of their siblings. A lot of us grew up together so vacations like this weren’t uncommon but this is the first one where everyone’s kids were also coming along.

My brother offered to pay for my whole vacation rather than the half he usually paid if I was willing to help with the kids(M7 & F4) for a day or 2 so he and his wife, Rose, could get some alone time. I agreed since they’re good kids and I help out anytime I’m in the vicinity anyways as it’s not uncommon for our culture.

On the first night’s dinner, one of my brother’s friend’s girlfriends, Ally, made an offhand comment about my brother having a vacation nanny while she was fussing with her kid while I was talking to Rose about their plans tomorrow when she mentioned the kids just staying the night in my room so that they didn’t have to wake us up early to leave for their appointment.

I agreed since I was watching them tonight anyways. I assume the problem started there since Ally showed up at my door after dinner trying to drop her kid off. I was fine with until she told him she would be seeing him tomorrow and conversation after went like this:.

Me: I don’t mind him being here for a few hours but he can’t spend the night.. Her: But they’re spending the night?. Me: Yes.. Her: So why can’t he? Me: Well there’s no room for him and they’re my brother’s kids and are used to spending the night with me.

We went back and forth a few times, eventually I just refused overall and apologized to the kid. I’ve been told a few storied and Ally is the type to just leave her kid anyways, regardless of the conversation and I didn’t feel like tracking her down later.

While we were at the pool a few days later, I took the kids to the resort cafe for ice cream and offered to take the other kids, a few of the parents said no and some of them gave me a weird look so I asked my friend about it. Apparently at the breakfast the second day, Ally complained about what I did, and a few of them took her side.

Later that night at dinner, a wife of my brother’s friend asked if I could watch her kid tonight so they could go somewhere and I said no, explaining that my niece and nephew were with their parents tonight so the younger siblings were all going out.

She mentioned that since I was willing to take them earlier for ice cream and since they said no, I “owe” them, said “it’s not that big of a deal” and I “can go tomorrow instead”, I just said “Sorry, I can’t.” and left it there. There were similar situations and eventually my brother stepped in to say that he paid for my vacation which is why I took a few days to help him,

and that they could chip in if they wanted my help but I talked to my mom and a few of my friends and they pointed out that my brother actually got to enjoy his vacation unlike the others and I could’ve taken or offering to take the other kids when I was watching my Niece and Nephew.

This vacation saga is a textbook case of boundary-testing, with entitled parents treating a young woman like a hired nanny. Her deal with her brother was clear: babysit his kids for a paid trip. Other parents, assuming she’d extend the favor, overstepped, and her refusals sparked backlash. Dr. Susan Newman, a social psychologist, notes, “Setting boundaries is key to preventing resentment in family dynamics” (source). The parents’ demands reflect a sense of entitlement, not mutual support.

Family vacations often strain relationships—40% of group travelers report conflicts over responsibilities (source). Ally’s attempt to dump her kid and others’ “you owe us” attitudes ignored the woman’s role as a guest, not staff. Her brother’s defense clarified the deal, but the group’s resentment lingers.

Newman suggests clear communication to maintain boundaries. The woman could firmly restate her agreement with her brother, offering to help only if mutually arranged. Readers, how do you handle group trip expectations? Moving forward, she might propose a shared babysitting rota for future trips, ensuring fairness. For now, her stance protects her vacation, teaching the group that free rides come with a cost.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s crew dove into this vacation kerfuffle like it’s a poolside showdown, serving up a mix of cheers and sharp jabs. Imagine a resort bar where everyone’s dissecting the parents’ gall, from praising her backbone to roasting their entitlement. Here’s the candid scoop, buzzing with sass and support.

[Reddit User] − NTA Your brother invited you to go on vacation with his family. He agreed to pay half in exchange for some child care for his children. Your brother and sister in law's friends tried to take advantage of you by asking you to watch their children too. Watching other children was not part of the deal you made with your brother. At least your brother stepped in and put an end to it. The audacity of people never fails to astound me.

LouisV25 − NTA. Your Mom is 100% wrong. Your brother made a deal that benefited him and you. The others were freeloaders that didn’t have the decency to ask you to watch their kids in advance. I’m proud of you for standing your ground. Never let people take advantage of you.

Salty-Initiative-242 − NTA the other parents could very easily have switched off watching the kids. They could have looked into local baby sitting services or drop in daycares. They could have brought their own sibling/nannies. THEIR lack of planning is not YOUR fault. You were essentially paid to watch 2 kids you know well for a few days, not multiples that you don't know for free.

bookishmama_76 − When we vacation with friends we always help each other out. One night we will watch the kids so they can go out. Then they will watch the kids for us. And then the guys will watch the kids so the girls can go out, etc. NTA - your brother paid for your vacation so you watched his kids a few times. You have zero obligation to watch anyone else’s kids. Especially for free. Plus it is a vacation for you! It’s not just you being a nanny for the trip

diminishingpatience − NTA. They were trying to take advantage of you. I took the kids to the resort cafe for ice cream and offered to take the other kids, a few of the parents said no. That was their choice. She mentioned that since I was willing to take them earlier for ice cream and since they said no, I “owe” them.

No. You offered something else which they turned down. Trying to take away an evening when. the younger siblings were all going ou. was extremely poor. my mom and a few of my friends and they’re saying I’m the a**hole for not taking or offering to take the other kids when I was watching my Niece and Nephew.. They can always make themselves available in future.

Firm-Molasses-4913 − NTA. They went on holiday with no expectation of child care and apparently no conversations between the parents about trading off or hiring a local sitter for a few hours everyday. It wasn’t your responsibility and they didn’t offer to pay you only tried to add their kids to your brother’s arrangement. You did nothing wrong. 

celticmusebooks − NTA and kudos to your brother for having your back against the entitled moochers. Shame on your mom for favoring the

tosser9212 − NTA. Your brother's arrangement with you was for his kids. The other folk made no such arrangements, and shouldn't be holding any expectation that you're at their beck and call.

ComplexSevere8771 − NTA. These people sound entitled as f***. You were way nicer than I would have been. Don’t feel guilty for knowing your worth and not letting s**tty people walk over you. Anyone telling you otherwise is probably the same type of entitled a**h***.

chuckinhoutex − NTA- And I would just say to each of the entitled parents. I am not your nanny. I am not a babysitter for hire. I have a relationship with my brother where I watch his kids sometimes. If you didn't want your kids on vacation, you shouldn't have brought them, do not blame me- I am not here for that.

These Redditors are all in, hailing her for dodging the nanny trap or slamming the parents’ audacity. But do their fiery takes fully unpack the cultural and family pressures, or are they just cheering the underdog? One thing’s clear—this boundary battle’s got everyone talking.

This sun-drenched drama leaves us wondering: how do you hold your ground when everyone expects a free pass? The woman’s refusal to babysit the whole crew was a masterclass in boundary-setting, even if it ruffled feathers. Ever been roped into doing more than your share on a group trip? Drop your stories below—let’s splash into this vacation tussle and figure out how to keep the peace!

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