AITA for not allowing my sister to move in with me?

Picture a sleek, single-story house, buzzing with the quiet hum of a pro athlete’s sanctuary—dogs barking in the yard, a gaming console glowing in the dim light, and a home gym ready for action. For one 28-year-old man, this is his hard-earned haven, a space carved out for his career and downtime. But when his college-bound sister swoops in, expecting to claim a room, the vibe shifts from chill to charged. Her bold assumption that his gym could become her bedroom sparks a clash of independence and family ties.

The tension is palpable—his love for solo living collides with her dreams of crashing at his place. Readers can’t help but wonder: is he selfish for guarding his space, or is she overstepping by demanding a free ride? This tale of boundaries and sibling expectations unfolds with relatable stakes, pulling us into a modern tug-of-war over personal space.

‘AITA for not allowing my sister to move in with me?’

So, I(28m) am a pro athlete. For privacy reasons I don't want to say which sport or which team, but I am decently successful, and own my own home. My current house is my dream house. It has a single floor, so it's not too big, but it has 3 rooms and a living and dining room.

I have one room as my bedroom, I had the second room converted into a home gym, and I use the third room as a super good gaming room. Each of my specialised rooms are perfect for their purposes. My game room has a pc with a great monitor, a ps4, waiting on the ps5 upgrade, with a high quality tv.

My gym has great equipment and is perfect for the off season. I also have a decent sized yard, and 2 dogs with plans for a third. I have a decent sized friend group whom I invite over frequently, and often have sleepovers with. This typically isn't planned, we don't drink, but we just talk a lot and sometimes watch movies and end up falling asleep.

Recently my sister got into a college near where I live. When she told me the news, she told me how great it was that we're gonna live together again. I told her I had no space, but she told me we could convert **our** gym into a bedroom for her, complete with a desk. This irked me because I love living alone.

I like being able to get up and leave whenever I want. I like being able to watch whatever I want on the TV without judgement or scrutiny. I like not having to consider other people. Now, there are a number of examples I could give, where my sister is just a plain bad roommate.

She doesn't exactly take care of other people's things when she borrows them, and she feels entitled to them if they're in the same house as her.. She also has a habit of inviting people over without permission and forethought, which I obviously dislike. She is also a 'gamer' and would like to play games on my console and pc.

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I obviously do not want her to do that, because knowing her, she'd probably break it, or she'd grow so attached to it she thinks it's really her property at that point.. There are a hundred other things which she does, which I don't like, but you get the point. Now, I told my sister all of this, and she started off on me.

She started yelling about how because I play for a living, I should help out people who actually have to work for money. She told me that I need to care for my family. My parents are staying out of it and saying that we're both adults and can figure this out for ourselves. They say if I don't let sis live with me, they'll pay for on campus lodging, but she'd have to have a roommate, which she doesn't want.. AITA?

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This sibling spat is less about space and more about setting boundaries. Family dynamics can get tricky when personal achievements, like owning a dream home, meet expectations of support. The athlete’s firm stance reflects a deeper need for autonomy, while his sister’s push highlights a common family tension: entitlement versus independence.

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes in a Psychology Today article that “boundaries are essential for healthy relationships, as they define where one person’s needs end and another’s begin.” Here, the athlete’s refusal aligns with protecting his mental and professional space, critical for his high-pressure career. His sister’s reaction, though emotional, overlooks his right to prioritize himself, especially given her history of disregarding shared spaces.

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This situation mirrors broader issues of sibling dynamics in adulthood. A 2021 study from the Journal of Family Psychology found that 65% of young adults report conflicts with siblings over shared resources or expectations. The athlete’s choice to maintain his home’s purpose—work and relaxation—over family obligation is valid, especially since his parents offer her dorm housing.

For solutions, clear communication is key. The athlete could calmly reiterate his need for solitude while acknowledging her excitement about college. Suggesting she visit occasionally, rather than live with him, could ease tension. This approach respects both their needs, fostering understanding without sacrificing boundaries.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, dishing out a mix of cheers and shade with their trademark flair. It’s like a virtual coffee shop debate—everyone’s got an opinion, and they’re not shy about it. Here’s what the crowd had to say, raw and unfiltered:

aquasaurex − NTA I love how she doesn't want to live with a roommate, but it is fine to force you to have one.

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lamorphe − NTA, your house, your rules!

squirrelsareevil2479 − NTA. You don't want to live with her and you don't have to. It's ironic she wants to live with you but says she doesn't want a roommate at college. Your parents are being very good to stay out of it. If sister is driving you nuts now, imagine living with her.

Sit her down a give her a list of reasons why you don't think you'd be compatible. If she argues, tell her that's reason enough. you work hard and need to relax at home. She does not sound relaxing . Good luck and have a great season.

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Environmental_Sand45 − NTA. If she doesn't want a roommate tell her that you completely empathize with her as you feel the same way.

whereismyisekai − NTA. She doesn't have any right to live with you just because you're siblings. It's YOUR home that YOU paid for so you get to decide who does and doesn't get to stay there.. The fact that she looks down on you for 'playing' for a living also doesn't sit well with me.

brockleehead − NTA. She needs to experience collegiate life on her own. She also needs to respect that you don’t want a roommate just like she doesn’t want a roommate in college.. She could always get a job and pay for her own private lodging.

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MandaDian − NTA. I don’t care what you do for a living or how big your house is, you don’t owe your sister a free place to stay. She is going to have to suck it up like 90% of the rest of college students and stay in a dorm until she can afford an off campus apartment of her own. Millions of college kids survive it every year, I have faith that she will as well.

madamebeangreen − She can have what you have....when she earns it. NTA

paalme − NTA. You could have probably done with a firm no rather than listing all the ways your sister would be a bad roommate when giving her your decision, but you have no obligation to let her live with you. Your parents are willing to get her on campus housing, so she isn’t in dire need here. Hopefully her temper will cool off soon and she’ll adjust to living with roommates quickly!

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xxfemalehuman − NTA. Funny she demands you get rid of what is essentially your home office necessary for your career but will 'let' you keep the gaming room of her dreams.

These Redditors rallied behind the athlete, calling out his sister’s double standards—she wants no roommate but expects him to share his space. Some urged him to stand firm, while others saw her entitlement as a red flag. But do these spicy takes capture the full picture, or are they just fueling the fire?

This story of a pro athlete standing his ground against family pressure hits home for anyone who’s fought to protect their space. His sister’s bold move to claim a room shows the messy side of family expectations, but his choice to prioritize his peace is a lesson in self-respect. With Reddit cheering him on and experts backing the power of boundaries, it’s a tale that sparks debate. What would you do if you were in his shoes? Share your thoughts below!

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